Is my boyfriend hanging out with his brother all the time something I should be upset about?

[Anonymous]

For context: My boyfriend and I have been in what's essentially a long term relationship for 2 years now. We hardly see each other, but when he does, most of the time his brother tags along. His brother has constantly made comments about us being close, and not in a healthy way. I can't even hold my boyfriend's hand without hearing "Cooties" or "Gross". And I don't mean as the occasional joke - this happens every single time. Without fail. They share a room together at home, and whenever I call my boyfriend, he's there to talk to my boyfriend while we're on the phone.

Every time that I make plans with my boyfriend to watch a movie long distance or such, he always has something else to do with his brother that comes first. I've asked my boyfriend to talk to his brother about the comments, and he has, but they haven't gotten better. Recently, his brother even asked on a call to pick between me or him. I've been feeling really upset about this, are these feelings justified? Or am I being too selfish? Am I overthinking the situation? Thanks for the feedback.

[SueShe]

Your boyfriend has an unhealthy relationship with his brother. At that age (18-24?) siblings should not share a room together anymore. If they still live at home, then the parents should intervene because there is a total lack of private sphere for either one of the boys.

It seems that the brother is somehow jealous that your boyfriend has a girlfriend because his behavior leads me to believe that he does not and tries everything possible to ruin his relationship with you.

You should not accept that your boyfriend lets his brother dictate how he has to behave. That indicates a weak character and personality.

You have really no other choice but to either accept that the situation persists or then to give an ultimatum to your boyfriend. Either he chooses his brother or you but not both. That is the tough choice you have to make but you have to keep in mind that he will chose his brother.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he is dating his brother more than you. Dump him.

[Blueeyes81]

You have every right to feel the way you do. You need to set boundaries and enforce them.

[boobliker]

then find another boyfriend to hang with

[Anonymous]

No what’s the problem