My boyfriends twin brother doesn't like me. What should I do?

[willowisp]

my boyfriends twin doesn't like me. When ever I'm over he doesn't say hi or even make eye contact and he will often come into my boyfriends room when we are hanging out or watching a movie and ask when I'm leaving. When he first started doing this it was more in a joking manor but lately there's been a lot more seriousness in his tone. Also, when he does this he only acknowledges my boyfriend and refers to me as she even when I'm right there.

My boyfriend and his brother have a pretty close relationship and I think that his brother might feel like I'm getting in the way of their relationship. Thing is, I'm not over super often. I see my boyfriend maybe once or twice a week so I don't feel like I'm monopolizing all my boyfriends time.

I'm not sure what to do, I honestly feel like I've done nothing wrong to make him dislike me so much. Is there anyway I can resolve this and get him to like me more? even just a little bit?

[Ingrid422]

I am pretty sure I know what's going on here. I'm very good friends with twins (yes, BOTH of them) so I've been able to understand their "dynamic" pretty well. I think the problem might be that the other twin that you're not going out with feels left out and undesired in comparison to his twin. He's probably asking himself "What does the (other twin) have that I don't? Why did she choose him instead of me?". It might particularly be the case when both twins get along very well and hang out with the same people often. It tends to blur the lines and make it feel like the twins come in a "pack". So if the other twin is single, he's probably expressing his frustration on the matter through his relationship with you. If the twins' relationship isn't like the one I described, then I'd say you're in for trouble. Most twins remain EXTREMELY close to each other thoughout their lives. Even if you feel like your girlfriend status places you first, it might not be the case. That doesn't mean your boyfriend will dump you because his brother's impression of you isn't positive at first. It just means that he is more likely to reevaluate things out with you. His brother will wake up a doubt, I mean. By the way, I think you're right when you suppose that this guy feels like your relationship threatens his relationship with his brother. NEVER underestimate the close bond between twins. It's WAY MORE than your regular brother/sister relationship. This guy might just feel lonely in that situation - that doesn't mean that your boyfriend will feel it's wrong. I think there's still room for adaptation here, so wait on that.

[Anonymous]

i guess all you can do is ignore it and just be nice and polite as possible don't let anyone know it bothers you because at the end of the day your boyfriend is the important person in your life, slowly the twin will realize he is being foolish and immature. he has to grow up one day and get married he and his bro will grow apart and become adults with wives and kids, and that's just life, he needs to accept that and get over it, but only he will realize that on his own. he's single and probably hasn't loved a girl yet so he doesn't know but one day he will. just be a mature one and be indifferent when he's around. indifference is very powerful =D people can yap all they want and you're still a tower of strength at the end of the day.

[Hidden_P]

He may be attracted to you..maybe not enough to want to because problems with his brother but maybe that's why he's not speaking to you or avoiding you.

If he doesn't feel that way for you, it's probably more like his twin has said something that has unnerved him. I don't know what it could be, but as an example, "one day I'm going to marry that girl" and maybe it's hit home that it's not always going to be 'me and my twin'.

Have you done anything that may have upset him? Maybe you should ask your boyfriend if you've done something, or if he's noticed he's acting different with you. It might not even be you, he might be treating everyone strangely!

[Anikaj]

I was thinking someone would answer "he may like you" and I'd be like na that's probably not it but it honestly could be that he likes you but to tell you the truth tho what you have to do especially because he's to old for this dumb s*** and he's obviously disrespecting you, you have to say something to your boyfriend or him but it has to be flat out like "What's your problem with me?" You probably should first ask your boyfriend to handle it because its family involved and more important its his twin so that would be the best way to go about it to me at least

[simplythebest]

yh I agree!

[lots2000]

he's upset because he's jealous. he doesn't want to lose his bro.

this is not your fault that this is happening. it's your boyfriend's fault.

what you should do, or rather what your boyfriend should do is talk to his bro and make him understand that even though he has you, his bro will always stay his bro. and you boyfriend should spend some time with his bro without you at first and than gradually bring you.

there. that definitely deserves a best answer.

[-Darling]

I personally would stop going over to their house! He (your bf) would ofc ask why you wouldn't want to go over to him anymore, and I would stright out and honest say "well your brother obviosly doesn't want me there..." and ask him kindly if he rather want to hang out somewhere else, as in a park or whatever. This shows you have some reslfrespect AND it will ring a bell in his head so he will deffinitly talk to his brother if he cares about you. I would NEVER ever ever go to anyones house if there was someone asking "when is she leaving" and stuff like that, its just so rude, disrespectful, and just too many things! I would NOT want to be at a place where I'm unwanted and not welcomed.

[questionsneedanswers]

Is he jealous? He might be.

Also, there could be the factor of 'sibling rivalry' and sometimes with twins, rivalry is more intense. Because they are twins and especially because they are of the same gender. It could be like "Oh, your twin brother has a girlfriend, why don't you have one?" Competition, you see?

[willowisp]

Your theory makes sense, but he has a girlfriend too. I'm thinking he might just be jealous of not having as much time with his brother. don't know what to do about it though

[questionsneedanswers]

True... He's probably really close to his brother, like you said. Twins (most twins anyway) are really, really close. They might fight, but they are actually extremely close and protective when it comes to each other. I know twin girls, and if you fight with one, the other will back them up. No matter how unreasonable the twin I fought with is, they will back the other up.

[hakuna_matata]

i don't think you can do anything about it. it's the job of your boyfriend to ensure that his friends or his brother/sister treats you well and vice versa. so talk to your boyfriend. it's not as if he has to scold his brother or anything. he just has to go and say it nicely that he does not like it. that's it

[hakuna_matata]

and if your boyfriend is not at all bothered by this disrespect shown towards you for apparently no reason then I seriously doubt how serious he is about u...

[Frosted-Ray]

He's probably a clone gone wrong.

So before he stabs you in the night, rip out his heart :D

Glad I could help

[jayrex]

Do you have a sister or friend you could bring along to distract him?

[AmberChick]

Buy him something

[iXenomorph]

Kick his nuts.

[jayrex]

This is a great answer. I can't top this.