My boyfriend has been acting weird and distant?

[Anonymous]

So my boyfriend has been acting distant towards me lately. I'm worried something may be up. I moved in with him in May and we have been together for a year now. He is in the military. I moved away from my friends and family and left my job to be with him when he asked me to. Anyways, his strange behavior has started about about a month ago. There's also a female friend he has that's kinda making me uncomfortable. She is a girl he used to work with and used to have strong feelings for. They slept together once after she got out of the military but she moved away to Texas, he lived in california, this was all before me by the way. Anyways she basically friend zoned him, then disappeared for awhile. She resurfaced after I started dating him asking how he was over text and what not, apparantly she went back with her ex bf and moved to new Jersey. Well I guess something happened and she moved to Nebraska and was having problems with her bf. I believe they broke up and she talks to my bf a lot. I've seen him send her a text saying he misses her. She disappeared again for two weeks and then try him saying she tried to commit suicide. My bf was texting her while I was sitting there and I saw him send her a text saying he will always be her friend and wishes he could be more. I asked him about that and he said he meant as more than just a friend over text. Anyways he went to japan for a week, and since he's came back he's been very distant from me and seems not to want to be around me. Yet she texts him every morning and I found out he was talking to her when he was over seas, I don't know what aboit, he just told me he did and I knew cuz she was messaging him on fb instead of text cuz she didn't know he was back in the states. I asked him if anything was wrong and he said he's just been bored, feels like he gained weight and just feels in a funk. I'm worried it's maybe he wants her back and is depressed about it? My feelings are so conflicted and I want to trust him...

Updates

+1 y

I wanted to add to this that she is in Nebraska and we are in california. I have mentioned it makes me uncomfortable, he tells me she's just a friend and I shouldn't need to feel jealous. When he told her he missed her that was before I moved in, yet he still after that was pursuing me hard and telling me he loved me. Now he hardly even talks to me. Also she is a college drop out and has no job or money and was separated from the navy for DUI and making accusations.

Updates

+1 y

He told me tonight he wanted to break up cuz he isn't emotionally ready. Fuck it

[singlebee]

GIRL... TAKE MY OPINION... LEAVE THIS GUY RIGHT NOW... CONFRONTING HIM IS NOT GOING TO MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE AS HE IS TEXTING HER RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU... THAT TELLS HE STILL LOVE HER AND WANTS HER BACK...
DON'T BE A VICTIM OF HIS IMMATURE BEHAVIOR... SOME PEOPLE JUST can't MOVE ON... THEY ARE ALWAYS LIVING IN THE PAST...
LEAVE HIM... GO GET YOUR JOB BACK AND FORGET HIM..
I AM SORRY THIS IS HAPPENING TO YOU... BUT LEAVE BEFORE HE CHEATS ON YOU

ANOTHER THING I WANT TO SAY THAT... MAY BE HE DID NOT GO TO JAPAN. HE WAS DEFINITELY WITH HER... AND THAT IS WHY HE IS ACTING DISTANT WITH YOU...

YOU CAN SEE WHATS HAPPENING IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP... TAKE ACTION NOW!!!

[Asker]

I know he went to japan because I saw his military orders to go over there for the week and he also brought me back a souvenir and showed me pictures. She also lives 1200 miles away so he can't physically cheat on me, but I'm worried he emotionally is and it hurts just as much

[singlebee]

OK... BUT STILL BE CAREFUL... CAUSE ITS A MESSY SITUATION... AND IF HE IS NOT OVER HER... FIND SOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU... YOU DESERVE BETTER

[Hyamitch]

He isn't over her. He doesn't appreciate you for what you have to offer and who you are, and has not worth you suffering over it. "More than a friend over text" translates to "If she liked me back I'd be hers in two seconds and you'd be on the curb" He may still care for you, but you just can't love two people. If he can't give up this one ex-fling for you, you shouldn't have given up your friends and family for him.
Kick him to the curb and go back to the people that love and appreciate you.

[Asker]

I think she does like him back, or at least the attention, but she's 1200 miles away, with no job and no money. I asked him how he would feel if the tables were turned and he said he would trust me and it wouldn't bother him. I just can't help but feel uneasy about her. She only shows interest in him when she doesn't have a boyfriend

[Hyamitch]

She only wants him for attention and money, and he wants her. He would leave you for her in a heartbeat. He only says he would trust you because he wants you to trust him. He doesn't want to be alone, but its what he deserves.

[Asker]

I'm just trying to understand why since she's emotionally unstable and irresponsible. Even looks wise she isn't prettier than me, she's just a little thinner because I've had a child and she hasn't . I just don't get it and it's tearing me apart

[Hyamitch]

Don't let it. He's a piece of crap and he's not worth your time. Move on and find somebody who will treat you how you deserve.

[jonesdiva]

It's definitely a messy situation, dear. I know you love him, but he's giving you all the information you need. He's not feeling the relationship anymore. If he were, he wouldn't be so easily swayed. He talked to her in front of you. That's just hurtful.

[Asker]

I allowed it at first because he told me they were friends for a long time and he never hid it from me. But now I'm wondering if old feelings have resurfaced now that she's single, or if my insecurities have pushed him towards her...

[GreaseMonkey68]

It's over.