I don't believe love exists... do you think I'm being too cynical?

[Anonymous]

I see it more as a chemical reaction; our hormones push us into liking someone (usually) of the opposite sex.

At other times, it's simply selfishness. I've had great sex not because a woman loves me, but because she has a desperate need for sex herself.

Sometimes, it's just companionship and lonliness that pushes us into each others arms...

Would you agree, disagree?

Updates

+1 y

I've been through long-term relationships and found how terrible it feels when the partner who swore love, and wanted sex everyday treats you like a flatmate or neighbour! Has this ever happened to you?

[Janett21]

Love exists. You not only have to love a partner, to call it love but remember your friends and family. I love my family really much, so it is a different kind of love but still love. I still think that the "erotic" love exists too, whynot?

Now I've read your update , yes it can happen I know. You are not meant for everybody. But sure there are people outside who you will love forever.
Also I hate these :"I loved him very much but now I love someone else." Love lasts forever. If not, it was not love.

[Anonymous]

I think that love exist. You choose to love. Falling in LUST is easy. LOVE IS a CHOICE. Love "endures" things. You can have sex with someone and "think" its love in fact its just lust. Loneliness can push you into someones arms you know you couldn't have a real relationship with. Love doesn't have music playing in the background 24/7. lol

[Asker]

This love/lust dichotomy is as fake as they get. It's just us, arbitrarily, drawing the line between the two. Like how some try to make a distinction between p*rn and erotica. (What-you-watch-is-porn-what-I-watch-is-classy-erotica!)

There is no thin dividing line between love and lust. I've started out relationships with women over lust, and then grown to love them. This is only natural; considering the way in which shared sexual encounters make us feel close to, and attached, to one another.

Fall in love with a person (for the way s/he thinks, responds, looks, talks etc) and you'll soon enough want to get into bed with her/him. This is especially true for men (for a whole set of other reasons), but works quite well today for women too.

So where does "lust" end, and why should it be seen as a less-legit emotion?

[Your_boss960]

To be honest love IS a chemical reaction.

Because people only fall In love because of biology. And then the man cums inside the woman and the sperm has a chemical reaction with all the woman's organs and then she gets pregnant.

This is why MOST people fall in love.

I've said this before I think..

[Asker]

Wisely put!

[Your_boss960]

I know right!! I feel sooo smart

[tinyclit]

I think maybe you've never experienced actual love.

[Asker]

I've had some great relationships, and others that were good in parts. But what makes me worry is how time changes all things... The impermanence of it all. It there was "actual love", things would have been less fickle. Would you agree? It's almost as if we keep fooling ourselves.

[Bluemax]

Well, hunger is the result of body chemistry. Does hunger not exist? Come to think of it, all emotions are the result of body chemistry? Therefore, am I to believe they don't exist?

If by "love" you mean the Hollywood pixie dust that requires no effort, then I would say you aren't cynical. On the other hand, if by "love" you mean the emotions that drive us into each other's arms and makes us work out our differences (when possible) and become less selfish people, then I would say yes, you're cynical.

[Agrojag]

Maybe. Who can really say? And the answer changes from person to person. It took me 22 years to find a girl I could say I loved. I'd met many before her. Why would my hormones and biochemistry specifically choose her and not someone else? I think in that case it was real or at least more than biology. Turns out it was the most painful experience in my life but that's another matter.

[Song4TheBroken]

Just because love is the result of chemical reactions doesn't make it any less real does it? That's like saying fear or anxiety doesn't exist because they are caused by chemicals in the body. I think you've nust never been in love before and don't know what it feels like. And yes there is quite clearly a difference between love and lust.

[Agrojag]

Yeah. Definitely a difference between lust/love.

[crazyincalifornia]

I make my own love.
For real!
Only true lovers can see it.
Those that have to ask are not lovers.
Hopefully you will see the love someday.
You really don't have to go looking for it.
somehow it finds you.
:))

[Asker]

I've had love. Intense love. But never lasting love!

[FlyingTurtle]

I disagree. A mere chemical reaction would not motivate one person to die for another person, or to make real, huge sacrifices for the benefit of another. Only love would do that.

[Asker]

Who says we're dying for each other? Give it two years and see what happens... Sad.

[FlyingTurtle]

? You don't believe there is any point in the history of mankind that one person has not died for another as an act of selfless love? Not ONE instance in all of history? That such things don't happen even to this day?

[Asker]

This happens if (i) you're in the first two years of a relationship, where the mind-altering chemicals have a really strong grip on one's imagination (ii) if one partner is so much willing to give (usually her) self for the other, as in the case of some 15th century Indian princess or French mistress. In that case, the other lover would really come to believe in love, though here too it's a conversion of money/power of the male (usually) into affection from the female.

[kheserthorpe]

I don't think you're too cynical.

I think you're unwilling to let go of the fantasy myth of love you had.

Love's real, but its not always as lasting or perfect of life changing as it is in the movies.

[Bonquawalaqweisha]

I was about to agree with you until you said "because she has a desperate sex need for herself"

[Asker]

But doesn't it work that way often? We have the best sex when both persons have a mutual need; and the worst when there's a sexual mismatch. We think the other person "loves" us... actually either is just fulfilling a need! No?

[BamLife]

Honestly, I'm truly truly starting to believe that myself buddy.

[Levi9incher]

It does exist woman fall in love with rich men all the time.

[zehel]

I believe the same but not for the same reasons you described.

[Anonymous]

Not too cynical, just realistic. I've always thought it's how you describe it ;)

[pyramid_princess]

Love exists, it just doesn't always last.

[Asker]

True. Nicely put.

In which case, it's a bodily attraction that gives us a chemical high. For awhile. Not love!

[ialmostdo]

Love definitely exists

[Asker]

How or why would you say so?

[indian_empress_91]

I totally agree with you. This is how I feel now.

[Anonymous]

I disagree. I think love exists.

[Asker]

Why would you say this? Just because you choose to believe it? Or you've experienced it? For how long?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, I chose to believe it. If you believe love isn't something that's perfect and comes from hard work. I can almost guarantee you'll find it. It's when people misconstrue what love is, they end up believing it doesn't exist.
Love isn't what it looks like in movies, it's far from that.
And yes, I've experienced love, for a good year.

[Asker]

That's precisely my point. "Love" lasts for a year or two. In other words, it's brain chemicals which brings us together. And then just wears out itself!

[Opinion Owner]

How do you know it wore off?
And that's not true, if you make it last, it will

[Asker]

Tell me, how long has your longest relationship lasted? Did the 'love' in it grow or decline with time? Specially after 2 years?

[Opinion Owner]

It lasted a year, the best of my life and we loved each other more each day

[Asker]

What happened after the year?

[Opinion Owner]

He was killed in a car accident.