Do you need constant attention in a relationship?

Question

Feel free to write as much as you'd like.

Isaif370 · Accepted Answer

I'm not very sure under which category I would be placed on, but this is my preference of attention in a romantic relationship.

I really don't mind texting a whole lot, and I would understand if there's moments where they can't text because they're busy doing something (my girlfriend & I go to school [same school, different campuses] & we work, so those would be moments we can't really text) like go to school, work or having to study.

I do appreciate it when we have time we either text each other or make time from everything to be together.

I wait 30 minutes for text messages before I begin wondering where they're at or what they might be doing. If they don't text to that love message then I wait 30 more minutes, if they don't answer then I either assume they might be busy or something. If 2 hours have passed, then I call them and see what's going on. So in a way I get paranoid after 2 hours of no response.

I'm also not the type to be romantic all the time, but I'm romantic enough to keep them happy.

I don't really know which category I fall under, but I assume that I want an average daily attention from them.

P. S: The term "them" is used generally. I only have one girlfriend, nobody else.

KäseChäe · Accepted Answer

I wouldn't say I need "constant" attention in a relationship, but consistent attention. I want to be desired, and feel loved, in any way my partner shows that. If she doesn't like texting constantly, then I'm fine with that. As long as she shows affection in her own way when I see her. If she does like to see me constantly, then I will adapt, but it better not fade out after the honeymoon phase, because then I'll worry and feel nervous, and get anxious that she doesn't care for me anymore and so on.

overthinkingmind · Accepted Answer

I don't need calls everyday or good morning texts. My boyfriend just calls me when is needed (I'm the same) and he never texts me via phone, unless one of us can't access internet for some reason in a long time.
I like my space but I do need some attention or I will start overthinking and thinking something is wrong, or that he doesn't like me as much as before, etc..
We use to talk on Skype everyday. We spend a lot of time on the internet, so we are in our lives, doing our stuff. We just say hi to each other, and when we have something to talk/comment, we just talk about that, or sometimes we share some funny/interesting links etc.. It's not like we are constantly talking, or like we go to internet on porpouse to talk, the conversation comes naturally. I think this is better than a daily call, because probably we wouldn't always have something new to say and it would be awkward lol.
Also I think it would be annoying if he were constantly texting me. I need time for myself.
I voted A, though, because I would be insecure if my bf don't text me for almost a week._. xD

AnayaWilliams · Accepted Answer

I don't need constant attention in a relationship. We don't' have to talk every day, every once in a while is fine. But I want to make sure that I feel secure and I want to make sure that I am in the right place. I don't' mind if he checks up on me every once in a while, not every day but every once in a while. If he and I go longer than a week without talking then I would began to wonder if he is still interested in me. Its okay to be acknowledge every once in a while, he doesn't have to be on my shoulder everyday. I used to be very clingy but I'm working on it, its okay to go a couple of days without talking, you don't' have to be up under your partner 24/7 or else it could drive them away. Checking up on them every once in a while is fine. As long as I feel secure and as long as he acknowledges me and still shows affection then I'm okay. Clingyness can ruin a relationship for good, its nice to give each other space. You don't have to constantly be on top of each other 24/7. They have a life outside of there relationship and so do you.

vishna · Accepted Answer

I do need lots of attention BUT here's the bad part (lol was the first part the bad part?) I need lots of attention when good for me. Otherwise, I give nothing back. For example, I'm in school and some days I want my boyfriend to call and text every hour. But other days I'm busy and would prefer if he left me alone for a few hours or better yet the majority of the day. Just like I give him lots of affection some days and back off if he has a busy day at work.

I'm also not going to lie and say I don't like, am not accustomed to, and don't expect a lot of attention from my partner.

In a long distance relationship, which I'm in, it's kinda required you give a little extra care to the one you're with (good conversations and good vibes) but there should be a balance so each person gets adored but also space.

So, that's my answer. I like to be adored and have space.

tammymac · Accepted Answer

I'm pretty independent. I've been on my own since I was 17. I am very self reliant. I very rarely ask for any help from anyone, for anything. I believe there a few different kinds of people. 1. People who need to be needed. 2 people who need to be wanted. 3 people who want to be wanted. 4 people who want to be needed.

If I classified myself in one of these categories I think I would be a wanter. I want to be wanted, and I don't mind being needed, but will never be needy as for me that is a sign of weakness. If I had a guy that was constantly texting or calling or showing up at my house, we wouldn't be together long. I don't have patients for someone that clingy. I have to have someone who is as fiercely independent as I am for things to work.

Mustachekitteh · Answer

The longest I had gone without talking to my bf would be like 12hrs. He was visiting his family at the time. I am sad if I can't talk to him much each day but if he truly needs time to study/work. I don't mind keeping quiet so he can focus. Plus I need my alone time to workout, clean,  etc . Which is hard to do if he's around. Then I feel bad if he's having to wait on me. I used to be worse at being to clingy at the beginning but over time I've gotten better at being more relaxed to when we can talk.

dipta · Answer

I don't think I NEED much attention actually, but I'm used to being by myself and never was in a serious relationship before... which is why it's weird when this guy I'm dating writes just to say hi... sometimes I'm afraid of making boring conversation.

Anyway, my dad always called my mom at lunch time, everyday for how many years? And he would be home for dinner, so I don't know, that's the example I have. What do they talk about? I don't know, they always did this even when they were fighting and sometimes they fought over the phone too, but they complain when I don't call more often too even if it's just to hear my voice or talk about the cat^^;;
It's like a given for them, but I suppose every couple is different?

lucyrosex · Answer

It depends. As long as I know that my bf really cares for/values me, I don't need that constant reassuring attention that some girls need. I don't think that it's healthy for relationships to be super clingy unless you're head over heels in love with each other. The sad truth is that a relationship either ends in marriage or a breakup so unless you see yourself marrying the person you're seeing, I wouldn't obsess or make them the most important thing in your life.

bomba78 · Answer

I don't need constant attention. In fact, it can get anoying, because I do have to work and if there are texts constantly coming in during the day, it is distracting.
I do however like to send/receive a good morning text every morning and in the evening to catch up on the day, maybe a call.
If a guy goes days without contacting me i would just assume that he is not that interested and move on rather quickly.

Being in a stable relationship, living together is completely different of course. We sometimes send a funny pic or something during the day. maybe just a random "luv 'ya" if I'm thinking of him. we might text if we need to make some plans or something we can't wait for the evening to decide on, that's about it.

vmw2008 · Answer

I need pretty consistent attention. I'm not the type who needs to be in a relationship, and if we're going most of the week without talking, I begin to wonder why I'm not just single. I'd obviously prefer to be with someone I care about, but if it's not a significant change from my single life, I don't see the point. It's all pf the commitment with none of the benefit.

ClassyClassic · Answer

Honestly, I need a lot of attention, i love goodmorning an goodnight text and just talking throughout the day. It shows me that my boyfriend cares and show me he is 100% in this relationship as i am. I feel that if were going most of the time without talking whats the point of being in the relationship. I mean i get it people need their space but i like giving and receiving attention.

JumpThenFall · Answer

No, I feel like that would be smothering. I think in a relationship you need me time. I need time alone with myself and my friends and so does he. I think it's okay to know what each other is up to, but you should be okay with going a day without talking.

in my opinion, I feel that people who need to constantly be in contact are insecure.

Taywallee16 · Answer

I don't like clingy people. I'd rather a guy text me every other day or maybe only 3-4 times a week. And maybe we hang out on the weekend. But I don't want to know every second of someone's life and I don't think they need to know mine.

Prettygurl12 · Answer

I do not NEED constant attention. It's nice to be acknowledged every once in a while though.

thegirlnextdl · Answer

I think most people would fall somewhere in between here. We don't need daily texts and calls, but if you never acknowledge us, what's the point of a relationship anyways?

moistycakes · Answer

I don't like constant attention, I like to be independent and do my own thing. Not to say if my boyfriend didn't call or text for a week I would be fine with it but too much communication and attention is just too much for me. If we don't talk for a few days it's totally fine with me as long as I still feel secure and wanted.

CHARismatic110 · Answer

Nah. I'm all about my space, bout my space Bo smother. Lol while I like to at least say a few words to each other every day, I don't need to constantly see you and be underneath you. I'll sick of you really quick that way. I need time to be able to miss you or it won't work

Hidden_P · Answer

I don't need constant attention as in management but I do need to be contacted regularly.

Eg, if it's a busy day for one of us I will keep out of the way but a text to say hi how are you doesn't take long, even if you are on the toilet when you do it!

I hate being ignored, it really makes me insecure. Communication is a huge part of a relationship for me

GoldenSunshine · Answer

I don't need that much attention. Neither me or my boyfriend are into texting so that pretty much never happens. We do, however, call each other at least every other day for an hour or so and we see each other on the weekends. So no, I don't need daily attention and I like having my space. But I'd prefer hearing from him every other day at least :)

Sbgirl · Answer

I've never been in a relationship, but I've always been relaxed about the idea. If I was in a relationship, I would not want a clingy boyfriend or having constant attention. I know so many people who wait all day for their girlfriend/boyfriend to reply and get upset about it. That's ok, but I would want a more relaxed relationship, I think it causes less upset in the end.

bombamboum · Answer

I don't need "constant" attention but I definitely need it. I live with my boyfriend, there is no way I can spend a day without a hug. We live our lives. We're not always on each other but when I go to sleep at night, I need him by my side. And let's face it, when you live with someone, it's normal that you want to have dinner together or watch tv together...

Kabloosh75 · Answer

I don't need it but I don't mind it. If a girl wants to shower me with attention then I'll entertain it and give her it back.

faruine · Answer

I dont think i'd need constant attention. Some form of contact every few days would be cool though.

moxygirl11 · Answer

Who seriously goes a week without talking to their SO? Not I! I don't need lots attention but I like for him to check up to make sure I'm still breathing.

Jessica_18 · Answer

I need is a sense of security. We don't have to talk 24/7 as long as I feel secure in a relationship with you. If I don't feel secure then it will never work out. I do like knowing that I'm on their mind during the day but constant is annoying.

Emma_Marie_Kitty · Answer

I have to admit I'm really clingy but i think part of that is because whenever I've had ex boyfriends they'd be with me all the time or message me all the time, there would never be a time I'm not talking to them. I talk to my boyfriend almost all the time apart from a few hours here and there. Although, i wouldn't say I need this all the time, just most.

anon1116 · Answer

No, I need space, I can spend about 70% of the time with my partner, the rest is mine to do me things.

ConfusedBeyondBelief · Answer

I definitely would enjoy the attention, but I've been experienced with receiving little to no attention in a relationship and it wasn't that bad.

luv2cheer · Answer

if he doesn't text me one day, im fine, and im cool if he has a guys weekend but id still like to be acknoweldged and feel wanted.

KHaskins · Answer

I got used to daily contact towards the beginning and enjoyed it, but we don't do it so much anymore. Her school takes priority. Figuring it out as we go along. I never get tired of talking to her, but I don't "need" to do it every day.

oldanddecrepid · Answer

I don't need it constantly... but I do feel communication is key to any relationship. I think it is important to have daily dialogue... I don't think this is needy, its just being in a relationship!

Circassian · Answer

I don't need much attention at all, as long as she stays true I will too. However, I hate texting and barely do it, but I don't mind having a conversation with someone I like. It's just that I feel texting is such an insignificant way of really talking about anything worth while, because it seems to lose it's meaning anyway, just words on screen. I personally love to call or just talk in person. I usually only text to make plans.

BertMacklinFBI · Answer

oooh hell noooo. I would love it so much if she could just hang out with her friends and give me an entire weekend to myself once in a while. I wanna spend an entire day with my other babygirl.

JessTheMess · Answer

I'm in a long distance relationship, so I require a lot of attention just because we don't see each other that often. So we're basically always talking... Texting or snapchat

Creole_Flavor · Answer

I don't need constant attention but I do need to feel like you are still interested and shown affection

bubble_tea · Answer

In my world, one daily text or call is the norm if you are not living together. To me, constant attention means several calls and several texts a day.

katedepp32 · Answer

nah, i actually hate constant attention.  actually, this is a serious reason for me to break up with someone!

JohnBhoy94 · Answer

I don't need much attention from my GF, but a text every once in a while, or a call, is always welcome :)

SachikoKurisu · Answer

Nah. I love him and he loves me and we both know that, we don't need to give each other constant attention to keep each other happy :)

SamiJane · Answer

I would rather have the opposite actually. I need time to myself rather than a constant overbearing presence.

thewanderingme · Answer

no. I need my me time. too much attention would annoy me/turn me off. I just need a little here and there and lots of affection when were together. (:

Climber · Answer

Hopefully not. I would feel suffocated. A relation must be an equilibrium between mutual care and having the right to keep your own life.

john2 · Answer

Nope, don't really need any attention but every blue moon it's nice to get a text from someone you haven't spoke to in a while. I just rather talk on a phone rather than text tho. I'm bad at texting lol.

Wintersmorning · Answer

I don't need it but you just expect it. You expect them to make an effort and put themselves out to call or message you. I hate being the one who always has to initiate conversation so it's nice to feel appreciated when he texts or calls me randomly.

beaulewis · Answer

I think there is a fine difference between being acknowledged and needing attention as someone else said.

Creeper1o1 · Answer

yes i do assume that'll she'll alway give me her constant undivided attention even when I'm not wanting it, but as for her she should expect by now that she will not receive that from me.

Chris011 · Answer

It depends on how much like the girl. If I really like her then I may need more attention. If not, then I wouldn't need it too much.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Nope, I don't require nor need constant attention, but I'll give it if that's what the other person needs or wants.

nerdybirdy42 · Answer

A reminder would be nice of why she chose me over other guys like what makes me special

idontknowyall · Answer

I need constant reassurance or else I'll think the other person is not interested anymore

sp33d · Answer

Attention enough if we get together a few times a week. I do NOT need someone texting or calling me every hour or even more often.. that is just, tiring.

Coolguy1928 · Answer

I don't need constant attention. It'd just be annoying for me. :P

HoneyButterCup525 · Answer

Well i like my space but love to have equal attention as Much as i like having my space aswell..  Hope That made sense.

jannette723 · Answer

Only if I'm feeling insecure about the relationship

VioletCouple · Answer

Need or want? I want it, but I don't think I need it.

Random_chick_2384 · Answer

I'm don't need attention. But I always like it. 😊

abundantlyrich · Answer

Not but i don't mind a short convo daily!

misscoffeehead · Answer

Guilty! Yerp voted for A

Klaatu51 · Answer

nahhhh that would be annoying basically imo!

404filenotfound · Answer

I'm a big fan of alone time.

Iron_Man · Answer

I dont everyday the woman seems to always need it

Princessofpersia · Answer

I just need a relationship

Do you need constant attention in a relationship?

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When you are away, do you expect undivided attention from your partner or someone you're into for some time everyday?

Do you need constant attention in a relationship?

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