True, unconditional love doesn't exist?

[Anonymous]

Is it true? We just 'settle' with the one we are compatible with. Because there are SO MANY break upd and divorce.

[Lee38]

I married my 2nd ever boyfriend also 2nd ever man I was with sexually. The man is my soul mate unconditional love and the security of being with a one woman man is the most beautiful thing and wonderful. My husband tells me "As long as you're happy, and safe my job is complete." One thing that is important above all other things he is my best friend. Because we built our relationship on a foundation of friendship/getting to know one another our marriage is SO strong. We literally laugh every day going on 4 years together and 2 years married. I agree watch out also how they treat their parents. My husband's mom and dad were struggling financially. She made the statement "I don't feel like a woman my nails look awful." He gave her money to go get her nails done helped them make house payments bought them groceries. He also took care of me when I had a tonsillectomy fed me soup fed me my meds helped me shower All of this before he even said "I love you". My advise when you are looking for someone my mom put it best "When you go to look for someone to settle down with make sure he is your best friend. Because your bodies will break down and be too old for sex. Your kids will leave the nest so then it's you and this person. You need to have common ground, likes, hobbies, interests, to get you through. Make sure the person you marry is your best friend." Yes unconditional love exists but you have to be willing to work at it and not throw it away through the bumps of life.

[Asker]

But aren't other factors like financial condition is more important? Due to poverty, you can both stsrt treating each other horribly

[Lee38]

We are barely scraping by in debit up to our eyeballs but true love like we have surpasses any situation with the exception of infidelity. There have been times where I had to help him out financially and he me. I told him when we got married if you marry me marry for love because I don't have any money. I always say all the time I am not wealthy but I am rich beyond compare because I have a good man to walk beside me through this life I have found the one with whom my soul delights. True love overcomes everything poverty, loss, And makes you stronger as a couple for it. In the short time we have been together I lost my grandma, Wrecked my car, had surgery, was diagnosed with a rare brain disease, my grandpa tried killing himself, I've been broke literally $0 in my bank account him literally $0 in his bank account. His uncle died his mom and dad had 4 surgeries between them. And tomorrow we celebrate our 2nd wedding anniversary Still in love even more than the day we said our vows

[SammyGurl]

True unconditional love exists; love is an action, you choose to love. Therefore you can choose to love another person without expecting anything back.

One sided absolutely, it exists though. One only has to look around to see someone who is crazy in love with another who doesn't bother returning that love. Extreme example, though similar exist all the time.

Then there are brand new babies, parents love them before they're even born many times.

[Asker]

So you think one sided love can also be true and if the other person reciprocate love, it can become something magical? Like in case of parents?

[SammyGurl]

Both are extremes of unconditional love, one chooses to love without receiving, the other chooses to love someone that they have yet to even know. Love without conditions exists because the person chooses to love someone else without reciprocation. Some as the parent will eventually receive love in return, while the person with the extreme crush might never receive anything in return. Yet is their love for the other any less?

There must be a happy medium where this love without the conditional return exists. Where one puts out more love than they receive in return.

Yes, I would say that reciprocal love can be true, it is by far easier for one to love when the other person returns that love. When I picture the normal form of unconditional love, I see a child being loved by their parent. Maybe a dog who seemingly loves their master, but what is it they receive back from their human? Companionship? Praise? Still they seem to have an emotional attachment to their human.

[Bellibooo]

I disagree.
I think that true love exists but I also think that it doesn't mean that there will never be any problems or fights. I think people give up too easy, at first sight of problem - instead of dealing with the problem and try to work it out as a couple and grow, they dismiss the relationship and the partner as "not being the one" and they move on to the next guy/girl until problems occur there.

[ThisGurl]

That does happen a lot now a days Mhm!

[Joshua2332]

Yes, it's because couples rush things way too quickly.

I look at divorces and wonder what was happening in the relationship before marriage. I'm only led to believe it never worked so why get married? Now you have legal BS and if you have kids, do you think they really want to go through that?

What do I know, I've never had a serious relationship though.

[Asker]

I have not had serious relationship as well. People cheat and then beg on their knees. HOW CAN YOU CHEAT IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE?
People break the relationships as old as 10 years. Then move on way too quickly. Where is the so called love?

[Joshua2332]

It's easier to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission. That is why it happens.

[Asker]

Certainly not love. They are assholes

[Freddius]

Love, on any level, is not necessarily final. Thus, there are always conditions in which someone loves another. What might seem like true, unconditional love today, can very well be reduced to an unemotional, uncaring fleeting thought of that very person in the future.

In my view, unconditional love does not exist.

[Asker]

then it's not supposed to be love if it finishes. Love is supposed to be forever. If it can't be forever, it can't be called love. Maybe affection?

[Freddius]

Say who? Love is an emotion and emotions are subject to change. If one can let go of hate, then one can absolutely let go of love.

[kambo_trick3y]

True, unconditional love exists.

Look at parents. If they can love their parents and their kids (both biological or adopted), then it's certainly possible a man and a woman can love each other romantically and unconditionally too, it's just rare that's all.

[Asker]

How much rare? Each and every single person on this earth either claimes to be in love or have loved in past and yet so many failures

[kambo_trick3y]

Can't say, I'd be bullshitting you if I told you I knew the number. I'm just willing to bet it's fairly rare cause unconditional love is very difficult to cultivate and maintain. It takes real work and sacrifice and commitment, things that are way too expensive from many people.

[Asker]

But why claim to love if you can't understand it ansd then one day people just 'fall out of love' lol bullshit concept created for making people feel good who don'tunderstand love and just feel infatuation

[Spencer10]

I would like to think that is not true... one does not have to "settle'. But relationships go through stages and we have to work through them. But they usually start out as more lust than love and hopefully change to something more deep. But unconventional love can exist. A parent def has unconditional love for their children for example.

[Asker]

I don't know. Some parents dislike their kids and vice versa. 'Love' as a concept should go for everyone, right?

[Spencer10]

Well you can still dislike a person at times but still love them. My parents prob did not like me at times but I was always sure they would be there if I needed them. Same with a relationship... hell what do I know? I have never really been in a relationship! But I am a keen observer.

[AlexCab]

the problem is, the definition of "true, unconditional love" is never the same for 2 people, and never stays the same through time... so how can it effectively exist for like forever in any couple?

We compromise, we find balance, we learn... hence we thrive :)

[Asker]

But isn't love supposed to be forever? Don't we all love our parents forever?

[AlexCab]

There are multiple types of love... that that couples have for each other, the kind that parents have for their children, the kind children have for their parents, etc. They are not the same and hence they don't work the same... but there's one that usually fails: "ideal" love. There's no single or simple definition for how or what to feel towards another person. The more you idealize it, the less reall it will be.

[Asker]

Love is supposed to be same, I guess. As per bible, love is forgiving, patient, is not jealous, etc etc With couples, there is only an additional physical relation in couples.

[AlexCab]

It's way more complex than that hun...

[Asker]

I am giving you an example. Moreover, love is not supposed to bel complex. Relationships are complex. If we consider our love towards parents, it's highly effortless

[AlexCab]

that's only possible in a perfect family. what if your parents hurt you? what if you hurt them? love is "supposed" to be many things... unconditional to me is one it can't easily be. Not saying it's impossible, but I'd never hold love to that standard.

[Asker]

We always hurt our parents in one way or the other and yet they forgive us. If my parents ever hurt me, I would still love them till my last breath. I get angry with them, they restrict me at stupid things, they have slapped me as well and even if they do something bigger and tragic, I would still keep loving them.

[AlexCab]

well... this discussion can take forever. To your point, I'm not saying unconditional love doesn't exist. I am saying that ideals are one thing, and reality is another one, completely different.

[TheGuyFromMiddleEast]

IT DOES NOT EXIST. It has never existed. It's just an illusion created by movies and songs, and people are so keen to fall for it. Just find someone you are compatible enough with. People have been doing this for tens of thousands of years and it was a stable system. Then, popular culture created "true love". Right after that, divorce rates increased.

[Asker]

And then people move on to find the next person or destroy themselves thinking that they lost their love. I am not crying over losing someone. I will find someone else haha

[Anonymous]

I think a parents love for his/her offspring can be unconditional. I mean some kids do terrible things and yet their parents continue to forgive them and support them as much as they can, even though they gain nothing back. They may not like their kids but they still love them. Of course, by no means are all parents like this.

[been_waiting]

I don't think romantic love is unconditional at all. people fall out of love all the time.

But when it comes to family I believe love is unconditional. I know I'll love my family no matter what.

[Asker]

There is nothing like falling our when it comes to love. You either love or you don't. People need to stop labelling their infatuation as love

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

Well, for these couples who been married for 60 years

yes that's got to be true unconditional love for them

[Asker]

Sometimes there is no love involved in marriages. I have definitely witnessed it

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

Awww i see

[tinyclit]

We have our needs. We need to breathe, we need to eat and we need compatible sex. Love isn't going to overcome those needs, it can only enhance them.

[Asker]

but we can still leave someone after falling in love, feeling love and having sex

[tinyclit]

Yes.

[Asker]

Then it's certainly not love

[tinyclit]

Yes, it is love. Who are you to say what is and is not love for other people.

[Rahdle]

True love for sure exists. Many people just marry or get together with someone who is not their true love

[Asker]

But it still works, right? Many people who marry on the basis of mutual compatibility lasts longer than people who married on the basis of love

[Rahdle]

Its hard to tell. But I think lasting long is no better than not compared to lasting forever. I'm just going off of if you ask any old married couple, they'd say they have true love

[ThisGurl]

True, unconditional love does exist in my experience. :)

[Asker]

Can you tell your experience? :)

[ThisGurl]

My ex boyfriend. We went through the fire, and he hurt me, and I hurt him. I cried very much, but I will always love him. I will always hold love for him. No matter what he did to me, or does. I just will always love him. And I feel that. We had been together for two years, and what happened between us, it is too much of a long story, but um I can tell you that um a lot of people would have dropped the relationship because it is unhealthy, but it was very difficult because I loved him unconditionally. And he did too. And we still do. Yes.

[Asker]

So why are you both exes?

[ThisGurl]

The relationship that we had was unhealthy

[Michael_Rc46]

True unconditional love is extremely rare but it exists. I don't think is involves romantic rerelationships though bc unconditional mean you don't need the person to do anything for you or even to love you back

[thewanderingme]

nope. everything in life is conditional. there's nothing wrong with that.

[aKKordingtoGreta]

No love is completely unconditional, even a parent's, which is perfectly normal.

[PeterPan11]

because relationships are not based on what they used to be.

[PeterPan11]

But it still exists when you base your love off of how God intended it to be

[amphet11]

Lol, nothing is unconditional, certainly not love

[Asker]

love is supposed to be unconditional

[amphet11]

You love people because of certain traits and acts, those are conditions.