I am in love with a married man and I don't know what to do?

[Anonymous]

I am in love with a married man and I don't know what to do, we've been together a couple of time and his been telling me he really wants to move me to Seattle Washington, I'm scared and I don't want to be naive I know this is wrong but I don't know what to do, his 38 and I met him when I visited WA and we had an amazing time he took me out and even lied to his wife about a fake business trip for 3 days to be with me... He said his wife is an amazing person but he don't want anything to do with her and it's nothing there I'm so torn I just don't want to fall for him even though I already have I don't know if I want to leave my school, job and place to move to another state:( (no mean comments please) if you done have nothing ice to say please don't say anything at all.

Updates

+1 y

He also sent me this

http://imgur.com/dZvw4JY

Updates

+1 y

It's a link to what we are currently texting, thanks.

[Ozanne]

This. Never. Works.

I have been with a few married men in my twenties and it's the same line of bullshit each time, that finally on my last married man I actually was the first to say to him I don't want him to leave his wife and want nothing from him. He was taken aback that while being a cheater, he was getting no hope from me.

Listen, all married men are in marriages with women they love but in situations they aren't happy with. They invest in a home, a life, and an image to all his friends and family that they know will ruin him if he leaves, period - much less leave for another woman. Men can't ever afford such backlash as it affects their family lives and sometimes their jobs when they tarred with a reputation like that - even if they feel it's justified (i. e. the marriage is a bad one).

They cling to the "other woman" because in their home life they have lost control of some kind. You, as the other woman are the one person who finds him important and lovable, but you don't complete the whole package. You don't have the status, share the house, share the family or have any other claim to stake in his life which is much more than just scratching an itch to feel wanted.

With that said, the married man will say things to keep the other woman protected and make her feel like she's his saviour while his home life seems to be so awful. If it really was this easy, married men would be leaving their wives all over the place - but they don't. Men put way too much work in to being married that they simply won't sacrifice. So instead, they sneak to get fulfillment. They fear very much losing their wives because it's their primary relationship, no matter how miserable they feel with her.

Your text conversations are not genuine. Also, his remark about black women almost seem like he's accomplished something he's wanted to try. I could be wrong, but hey, it's text messages.

I'm sorry, but he's running the show and you're letting him. I'd end it. Sooner than later.

[Sara413]

You need to end this and definitely not move for him!! He's banking on you being young ajd naiive. if he was truly in love with you and the relationship with his wife was dead he'd leave her. But he's not doing that. And before you get any ideas, you shouldn't ask him too either.

You make him feel good and he likes that, but don't assume for a second that he actually cares about you.

[Asker]

I think he actually does care about me and yes what we are doing is wrong but i can't break up a home that's already broken and isn't happy. His not happy with her and His proving himself to me

[Sara413]

How old are you if you don't mind me asking?

[Asker]

I'm 23 years of age

[GirlScoutsRevenge]

Simple truth is that this is incredibly unlikely to work out. You need to walk away before you invest any more into this relationship. Let him divorce his wife but do not influence his decision. The only way to do that is to walk away. This isn't right and you know it deep down. So what needs to be done and end it.

[emerald77]

This actually happened to my sister. No judgement here. Just realize that dating a married man will really take its toll in the long run. I think he either needs to get divorced and be with you, or you need to move on. Trust me, you don't want to be in that situation.

[5k1nny]

Stay away from him, he's not leaving his wife, he's using you for nothing more than a piece of ass and he'll tell you whatever he needs to to get you to keep coming back. You've already helped him cheat on his wife a couple times, it's neither yours or his place to do that to his wife, think about if you were in her shoes and you husband was out banging some random chick he met on a business trip. Leave and forget about him, it will only end bad for both of you, and think about the damage you'll be causing if you continue this affair, just drop it.

[Asker]

I ft the same way like he was using me but he made me feel really sucure, I do believe it's nothing there with him and his wife they are currently on a trip in Maui and his been texting me the whole trip and sending pics and videos :/

[5k1nny]

I don't mean to give you bad news but I've seen countless circumstances like this, he's with his wife in Maui, that doesn't sound stressed and out of love to me, I'm telling you he is using you, please don't become another statistic of women who fall for some bloodsucking worthless excuse of a man, any kind of good man would have divorced his wife long ago and wouldn't have cheated, he's taking advantage of your insecurities and iseingn them to pull you in, he's scamming you, any good man would just leave GI wife and find someone else, not just stuck around for that long singing an old sap story, don't believe him. I mean could he be true? He could, but there's too much information to the contrary, please just leave him, most likely he'll cheat on you when he's got his fill, I know guys who are like that. I can garantee you he's not the only guy out there who will love you and help you feel secure, a lot of them who are far better than him.

[Asker]

Do you my link I be updated on this question? I truly understand what you are saying, thank you. It's just so hard to leave him alone, his not a bad person at all. His so amazing and I know for there they don't sleep in the same room and in Maui their not sleeping in the same bed he even sent me a pic

[5k1nny]

If you want to continue this, ask him to divorce his wife. Tell him if he's serious about you then he should have no problem divorcing her. Is just not your place to help him cheat on his wife, what if that was you and your husband was cheating on you with someone else, how would you feel? Yo shouldn't do this its not right, and for my money he's just going to do the same to you.

[Thats_me]

You will just give up loving a married woman. If you were married, would you want your husband to love another girl? The answer is No! Then dont do something that you dont want to be done to yourself. :)

[Little_Mystery18]

Does he have kids? Either way... STAY AWAY. If he cheats on his wife, what makes you think he won't do it to you? He is married. Stop being a sode chick and get yourself a single man.

[Anonymous]

You shouldn't fuck with married men, you're being strung along by a weak willed piece of shit who'll flake on you just like he did with his wife, you're also being a home wrecker. I have no sympathy.

[FistSlaminElite]

I'm not being mean but I'm wondering why you're A dating him and B doing serious talk over text

[Asker]

Because his married, he calls me when he can. And I also prefer to text I'm not good with expressing my feelings, we talked on the phone and he had to get off the phone so we continued to text and I don't know why I'm dating him it just happen we met and the rest is history