My boyfriend checks my facebook messenger? What should I think about this :/ ?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months and we're both in college. Whenever I'm over at his place I would leave my phone on his bed to go to the other room or something and when I come back I see that he was using my phone. Ofcourse he can use my phone anytime and he uses it infront of me but when I check on the recently opened apps, I see that he has opened my facebook messenger, (I always close all my apps) and that's how I know he'sopened it. What should I think about this? We've had some trust issues before but he said that he trusts me completely now. But why would he feel the need to check my fb messages?

[Jessy12]

Uhm, I'm guessing because he does NOT trust you? Although I wouldn't assume he's expecting to find something on your messenger, he may be checking it in the hope of NOT finding anything, to get reassurance that his trust in you is justified. What exactly happened that caused his trust issues? Can you find other ways to show him he can trust you? Because seriously, he should stay of your phone. If a girl did that...

[Asker]

We had trust issues in the past because 2 months into our relationship I had my ex (I dated from middle school, and we were friends first before we dated) as my bestfriend on snapchat and I lied to him about sending snaps to my ex then he looked at my snapchat and saw that i was the last one to send my ex a snap. (I honestly didn't remember that I was the one who sent him the last snap), but anyway that's how i lost his trust, I guess he still doesn't trust me? I cut off all contacts with all my guy friends (except for the those i consider family)

[Jessy12]

Yeah he doesn't trust you. But really, what you did wasn't that bad as to justify him looking through your phone. You didn't cheat on him or anything. Plus he only found out back then because even then he looked through your phone. So my guess is he is a person who generally has trust issue, that doesn't have anything to do with you. And of course, unfortunately, your behavior with your ex didn't help. I would talk to him about it. It has been 5 months now since that incident. Ask him what you can do for him to trust you, but also make it clear that you do not appreciate him looking at your messenger. Eventually he will have to trust you, and act like it, because a relationship without trust is doomed...

[Stacyzee]

His trust issues may not stem from you. But what he has gone through in the past.
Talk to him about what you have observed.
In order to feel safe in his own relationship, he shouldn't have to monitor you.
He needs to learn to have trust in you without feeling the need to do those things.
This is something that will require work and need some time.

[Asker]

Thank you so much! I will try and talk to him later on today about it :)

[Stacyzee]

No problem :)

[AmberDawnxo]

I had a boyfriend that'd go into my emails and check them : I think he was really hurt in the past or all throughout his life he found trusting difficult. Sounds like he has insecurities , I'm not sure why, but I'd defiantly bring it up to him, and see what he has to say. Good luck!

[singlebee]

Well let him see your phone and take all the time he needs to get over his trust issues as you are one to make him lose trust in you!!! ( i saw your comment and how you lied to him about the snapchats)

Let him see all he wants... and just ignore why he looks through you messenger...

When he will get bored with finding nothing inappropriate in your messenger... He will stop looking automatically...

[beesod]

He may be worried about losing you, but it's not necessarily distrust in you, but perhaps he's worried about other guys messaging you and not about you heading back.

[Jack_S]

Either he is trying to stay one step ahead of you incase you're seeing other guys, or (more likely) he is trying to get some insight into yourself

[parkway]

He lied. he does not trust you. When a person lies it means they will cheat. You have been warned.

[Anonymous]

HOW ABOUT TELLING HIM TO KEEP HIS FUCING HANDS OFF YOUR PHONE! who does that stupid childish shi...

[Renovatio16]

That shows he doesn't trust you, there is not point in being in a relationship without trust

[Klaatu51]

guess he has trust issues then...

[Musical546]

I think those trust issues are unresolved.

[Anonymous]

he doesn't trust you.

[Not_Helping]

You should balk!