Boyfriend sleeps on the couch. Says can't sleep with out tv. Red flag?

[Anonymous]

We've been dating close to two years. We moved in together about six months ago. We also moved across country so we had to get all new furniture. We don't have a tv in our bedroom yet. He claims he can't fall asleep without it, and he's been sleeping on a couch for years and it's what he's used to. When I mention that it hurts my feelings he will spend a night in bed with me, but then go back to the couch the next evening. I worry I am overreacting... He is still affectionate and thoughtful. I just feel inadequate and not enough, or disgusting and unable to sleep next to. Sometimes I feel like we are turning in to roomates who have sex. Should I see this as a red flag? Or am I overreacting? I guess I'll truly know once we can afford to put a tv in the bedroom... But feedback in the meantime would mean a lot. Thank you

[BeeNee]

I would probably feel like you do if I were you. No one expects to be living with a significant other who doesn't want to at the very least, sleep in the same bed with them. You aren't overreacting in that aspect. However, having known him 2 years and dated two years, in all that time if he's at least mentioned it or you've seen that he truly can't fall asleep without the tv in the room and on, then that would mean he is really telling the truth. Some people have really weird sleeping habits or they need white noise to sleep, or a room to be cold, etc. Maybe for now, if he can't sleep in the bed with you, bring the bed to him and snuggle up to him on the couch and see if he stays with you through the night. Hell, get a couch sofa bed if you have to!

For now, I wouldn't freak out about it just yet, as you said, wait until the tv gets into that bedroom to see what happens... if nothing changes, then yes, perhaps there are bigger issues there that you need to have an honest discussion with him about.

[Stacyzee]

When you live with someone you're going to find a lot out about that person.
Some of which you like and some that will raise a brow.
Your boyfriend sleeping on the couch shouldn't be a red flag.
It's a habit he has had for years.
If he's doing everything else great in your relationship, don't make a big issue out of this.

When my partner first moved in with me,
I would eat at the kitchen table.
He preferred to sit on the floor in the living room, near the tv and eat.
I felt distant during meal time from him.
But I didn't make an issue out of this.
It's harmless and he had been doing it for years.
He was everything else I wanted a man to be !
So dealing with that was minor.

Your boyfriend loves you.
And doesn't give you reason to think otherwise.
Don't worry about this.
<3

[Asker]

Thank you this was actually great advice and I didn't look at it that way. I have to remember it isn't all about me all of the time. This really helped

[Stacyzee]

No problem :) .

[Anonymous]

I have to have a fan on and I can't sleep without some sort of noise.

Are you able to buy or borrow a tv for the bedroom? Didn't you know this before if you've been dating for nearly 2 years?

You just need to compromise: for e. g. every other night he sleeps on the couch. Eventually though I think this will get repetitive. I think he needs to cure this tv/sleep pattern he has fallen into just like I need to shut off the fan at night !!

[Lauren_ourd]

It is tricky because i can understand where you are coming from, but i can also understand how hard it is to get to sleep if you have trouble sleeping. Maybe try looking into ways to help him with his sleeping habits? He then might be able to then sleep without a TV. One tip that works for some is quiet white noise. I think you can download apps that play it. Worth a shot!

[Sexualchrist]

It sounds like pretty childish behavior to me.

Surely he realises that in order to get over his disorder of only being able to fall asleep in front of a television set he needs to try sleeping in a room without one and there's nothing better than sleeping with your girlfriend to achieve that.

[Frost_Byt3]

I can't sleep without the T. V. On either. That's why i have a T. V. In my bedroom. If he still acts normal, then its not an excuse not to sleep with you, it just means he wants the T. V.

Maybe you can sleep with him in the living room until you get a T. V. In the bedroom.

[Anonymous]

He's in that sleep routine, most people have some sort of routine for sleep. You say he's thoughtful and affectionate, he does go to bed with you too... you'll just have to work together to make it more often and also break the habit/routine with the tv, he can't live like that forever after all. I'm pretty sure it's just what he's used to and struggles to sleep without it, it sounds like he cares about you though.

[Dragonstarterplus]

Move the tv from in front of the couch to the bedroom?

[linkywinky]

I can't sleep without TV either so I know where he's coming from. You're overreacting big time.

[xxbebosxx]

you are overreacting. get a tv in your room and if he still sleeps in the couch then yeah it is

[Anonymous]

If it's not because of some mental illness, then ask him to stop being such a pussy, and learn how to sleep whitout the TV.

[zombiebabe]

just get a TV in your room

[Crazyced]

Has anyone ever told you that you snore?