My boyfriend sleeps on the couch

My boyfriend sleeps on the couch every night and has for the past 3 months. We are not fighting though. He just started falling asleep on the couch and now he makes no effort to make it to bed.

At one point, he claimed that he wants to watch TV. So I bought him a TV for the bedroom. Then he said that he doesn't like the color of the walls, that the bedroom felt like a hospital (walls are a light aqua color). So I spent $3,000 dollars on new carpet, paint and a new closet and re-modeled the basement to turn it into a cozy bedroom with a sitting / TV area, walk-in closet and full bathroom.

He still sleeps on the couch.

Why? And is it a sign of something seriously wrong? Should I throw a fit to guilt trip him into sleeping in the bedroom?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you should just chill out and stop trying to control him. If he wants to sleep on the couch, let him. What's the big deal, aside from the fact you want to control him and not let him sleep there? I have my own apartment. I live alone. I have slept on the couch for more than a year. It's way more comfortable than my bed, and the room (family room) seems way less constrictive than the bedroom which feels clostraphobic to me. Here's an idea, why not fall asleep on the couch with him? What ever you do, don't make a bigger deal than necessary, and stop trying to control and manipulate the man. I fire manipulative and controlling women immediately. I do not tolerate their crap what so ever! I have my own mind and don't need a woman to think for me. I will not be controlled or manipulated, and to tell you the truth, if you were my girlfriend, I would have just fired you by now. And in case you don't think your controlling or manipulative, what's this business about guilt tripping him by throwing a fit? That my dear is controlling and manipulative behavior, for which you should be dumped immediately! All manipulative and controlling people and especially women can burn in hell! I hope this guy gets his testicles out of the neighbors tree and dumps you. Just because you women look pretty and have a vagina does not give you the right to attempt to manipulate and control us men. Stop it!

    • Lol. You have the most stupidest and most insecure mindset about women. I don't know why your answer was chosen as the best because all it screams at me when I read it is that little Mr. Greyeyes had a bad breakup and still isn't over it. So now you belittle women and you think that every woman is out to manipulate and control men, including yourself. This girl is obviously upset for good reason. Her boyfriend makes it to bed every night and then all of a sudden just stops? I wake up every morning to my sleeping boyfriend on the couch and the TV blasting. We used to sleep together every night. Sleeping together promotes a different sort of intimacy for couples. Not just sex. It says, 'I wanna be close to you and wake up to your face in the morning'. It's wonderful. When you go from that to your boyfriend falling asleep to a screen instead of with you it can really hurt a woman's self esteem. And it concerns us because of the change in behavior all of a sudden.

    • So stop being retarded and blowing it way out of proportion saying all she's doing is controlling and manipulating him. She's not demanding that he sleep in the bed with her is she? She's not setting traps on the couch so he'll come to the bed is she? No. She's simply just concerned and she's wondering why he'd rather go to sleep to a loud talking box all of a sudden. I hope all your girlfriends break up with you asshole. Your perception of women is way distorted and I think you need relationship counseling. That or pop a xanax or some shit.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 6

  • No--do not guilt trip him. I believe things should be done from the heart, not because they are coerced or tricked into it. If you are having problems, manipulation will only make things worse. Just let him know how it is making you feel and see if you can talk into opening up. If he can't, then let him know that his behavior is stressing you to the point of "taking a break" to see where things are headed.

    If he cares about you, he may open up at that point. If he doesn't you may simply need to consider three possibilities 1) he is sick and maybe ashamed to say something is up with the equipment, 2) He is cheating and feeling guilty, 3) He is slowing growing away from you due to other factors that have nothing to do with cheating.

    Either way, let no man or woman place you in holding pattern. If you have tried everything under the sun to make things work, and he is still unresponsive, it may be time to take the hint and get out before things get ugly.

  • It's all about compromise. . say if he sleeps with you at LEAST 3 nights a week , you'll stay absolutely MUM about the other 4.. it wouldn't be fair to make him sleep in your bed EVERY night if he doesn't want to , however it's ALSO not fair for him to make you sleep alone every night if YOU don't want to.. Therefore a compromise is in order, which is what all relationships are about.. bottom line is when we love someone we sometimes do crap we REALLY. REALLY. Don't want to do , but we do it because we love them , and we know they enjoy it, and they do the same for us... don't listen to greyeys, he sounds a bit bitter and it's no wonder he lives alone , I'm sure his lack of compromise caused the houseplant to up and move. .. And as far as anything being wrong , if you guys aren't fighting and there are no other red flags , I'd say no.. The only question I would have is why the past 3 months , was anything about the situation different before that? If not it may just be that you guys have been together long enough to where he feels more comfortable in being the person he is at home , if so feel flattered.. my bf sleeps on the couch on occasion too , and I'm SURE would probably every night , but he knows I need time with him too , so he only does it a couple times a week.. of course I'd prefer him to sleep in bed w me EVERY night of the week , but I also want him to wash dishes put the seat down vacuum floors kill ALL the spiders , stop scratching his nuts and sniffing , stop farting etc etx.. and like a million other things I know he won't do.. and I'm sure he wishes the same for me.. that I gave head like a p*rn star for example... NOT gonna happen , our men are never gonna do everything we want them to , but we aren't ever gonna do everything THEY want us to either , so the answer is compromise. .3 nights cuddle like crazy , and use the other 4 to wear weird face masks and stretch like Armstrong , and both of you will be all the happier.

  • My boyfriend and I are both couch sleepers. Usually the fight is over who gets to sleep on the couch. So you can either 1.) become a couch sleeper yourself , or 2.) Sell your couch and get something less comfortable & smaller than the current couch. There's this ^ or you can dump him and find someone who wants to sleep with you.

  • You should ask him why he likes sleeping in the couch so much and what's so great about it. If you spent $3,000 dollars remodeling the whole room just too make him comfortable then why is he still sleeping on the couch? If that doesn't work put the couch somewhere else or hide it and tell him that for now on he is sleeping in the bedroom.

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