My boyfriend grabs me?

[Anonymous]

so I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. sometimes when we get into a big argument and there's yelling involved I try and leave for a little while. I grew up in an abusive home and I have been diagnosed with PTSD, so people yelling and slamming things around can give me a panic attack. whenever I try and leave, my boyfriend will grab me from behind or grab my arm and jerk me back around. is this considered abuse and is it a sign that he will get worse in the future? or is it a normal thing that I shouldn't worry about?

[greeneyedgal]

MaxPrime offered some great advice. Your boyfriend is being too physical with you when you both argue. There is no need to grab anyone for any reason, I don't care how angry the person gets. Talk with your boyfriend about this issue and let him know your concern. He needs to understand that you're way of dealing with the issue is to leave for awhile until things cool down. He needs to respect that until you're both ready to discuss matters calmly and like adults.

I am not sure if grabbing someone and jerking him/her around will necessarily lead to abuse. The person isn't controlling his/her anger and is trying to drive home a point or get in the last word. The bottom line is that there is to be mutual respect between partners in a relationship. That is why communication is essential and letting the person know what is acceptable and UNacceptable behavior.

Best of luck.

[MaxPrime]

Ya definitely signs of excessive control. You need to let him know that you need your space. You need to let him know that he isn't respecting your boundries. I know that this is going to be hard to say to him as you guys seem to fight more then normal. Let him know that you mean business and you aren't going to be grabbed like that. Good luck.

-MaxPrime

[jacquesvol]

I wouldn't consider it abuse, rather "wild behaviour".

Just explaining clearly to him what you accept and what you don't accept (and tell him why) should make him think about where your boundaries are.

If he is aware of your boundaries and doesn't respect them you might say him you consider that abusive.