My boyfriend is an alcoholic, should I stay?

[XxnamelessxX]

I've been with my boyfriend for one year now and i dicovered he is an alcoholic... It wasn't a real problem in the beginning but now every weekend night will be ruined by his habitt. He gets very emotional when he gets home drunk and a lot of times we get on arguments. Last time was the worse of them all. He just kept asking me why i am with him and i was very scared because he seemed like he was going to hit me. He threw an empty bottle at me and i thought he missed but i discovered i had a cut on my arm later. I didn't want to fight him back because i thought he would be more angry. I tried to go to the door and leave to stay with my bestie for some days but the grabbed my wrist so tight that it hurt and he pushed my to the wall. He ripped my clother and... you know what happened. I tried to push him but he is really strong and i am skinny so there was no point. I started screaming and he stepped back and kept asking whats the problem, am i not good enough for you? Every time i tried to leave he would grab my arm and it hurt really bad. The next thing i remember was hitting him with what was left from the bottle and locking myself in the bathroom. The next morning he remembered nothing but the mark on him caused by the bottle. I told him what happend and he was really embarassed, should i leave? I knoe you're going to be like whats wrong with you? leave him now. But when he is sober he is everything to me and i really want to help him with his problem😞

[Wondahwoman]

You cannot under any circumstances and I mean ANY help him unless he is willing to help himself. people who say love cures all probably haven't been in love with an addict. I'm a recovering
Addict (alcohol and heroin) and so is my boyfriend. It's a long journey, and just because you can't get your loved one to stop using doesn't mean that they don't love you. It's a very selfish illness..

He may not remember what he did... But him seeing the mark from the bottle on himself and remembering that part is classic addict behavior. You're only watching out for yourself when you're using. You only have the capacity to care for yourself as well. His mind won't let him remember what he did to you... And if you tell him he won't process it fully. Just remember: "they can't hear you when they're drunk!!!" No matter what you do or say when they are in a stupor like that... It isn't bound to change anything. Drunks get on a one track mind set and tend to obsess and iternelize things that are bothering them.. Not letting up. He got violent. It's likely to get worse if he doesn't lay off the booze. It is also likely that he has an underlying mood disorder he is self medicating for as most addicts do. But just because he does doesn't mean you have to stick around!

"He's nice when he's sober. He's my everything when he's sober" but if he drinks every night darling these sober moments you have with him are going to become fewer and farther inbetween. They aren't very common now! He won't know how he affects you until he gets help and gets sober, or you leave and he gets help and gets sober. There's no inbetween unfortunately.. Unless you want to be an enabler which is chaotic and stressful on your own life as well as his.

Take it from a gal that's been around the block with this most of her life.. If he isn't willing to get help and work on himself to improve the quality of his life.. A relationship with him isn't likely worth it. Most alcoholics are great people underneath it all. They are smart, charming, sensitive... But they aren't showing you any of these qualities while they are using. You aren't dating him but the bottle while he's using.

[Anonymous]

If I were you I'd make sure he gets help. Maybe AA or rehab, not sure what people do in those situations. But if he doesn't want to, than I'd leave him.

[BellePepper]

I'd leave him the instant he threw that bottle. You need to keep your own life safe before you worry about his. Leave him.

[Anonymous]

Maybe try and fight get him to go to an AA meeting let him know u r scared when he is drunk and say if he dosn't get better u will have to leave if he dose grate if not u dont deserve this it will only get worse an if u get a kid that is just a bad place to grow up in trust me

[Spencer10]

Yes if he is getting help and serious about tackling his addiction... no if he is in denial about his problem.

[smahala1991]

If he's getting help and means it then yes I would, but if he slides away then, I would rethink my options

[meatballs21]

Should you stay with a violent drunk?

No.

[kiler1000]

he'll kill you.