Should I be worried if my boyfriend hasn't introduced me to his friends yet?

[Anonymous]

ME AND HIM Have been dating 9 months I have met his family once and that's it and every time his friends want to hangout he declines which most are female they ask to meet me and he still declines and ever since we met he only spends time with me which i love but should I be worried?

[Wondahwoman]

Women tend to be more judge mental. If most of his friends are female he could be worried that they will judge you too harshly, they could also be very over protective of him.

Also many relationships where a person has many friends of the opposite sex tend to have a lot of problems. It takes a very secure woman to date a guy like that. Maybe he had a fling with a few of them and he's afraid of it being brought up. Maybe he had a serious ex they all adored and got really close to.

Maybe wait for an occasion where a get together is required. Like is his birthday coming up? If so maybe plan something for him and have him invite his friends.

[Asker]

Yea that is what I'm worried about especially cause one of his female friends is best friends with his ex

[Asker]

His bday just passed andi asked if he wanted to do something with all his friends and he didn't want to but when they asked to see him for his bday he said sorry wish I could I can't but we were free the whole week

[Wondahwoman]

Yeah his ex could have a lot to do with it. Especially if he is good friends with her best friend. It's possible that they still run in to eachother a lot and she gets brought up in conversation a lot. He could be keeping you from them to make things less awkward. It could be possible that no matter how nice and cool you are these women will still find a reason to dislike you out of loyalty to his ex. He could be protecting you from that.

Did he introduce you to his family on his own?

[Asker]

No he didn't introduce me on own I had to ask and after about 4 months of asking when I was going to meet them I finally do and his mom said she didn't even know about me till like a month before I met her

[Wondahwoman]

Was the relationship with his ex a very serious one? And how long ago did they break up? Is it possible he's still harboring feelings for her and introducing you to everyone makes their break up more real or solidifies that they probably won't get back together?

[Sadly_It_Fell_Off]

Yes, this is a red flag to me because why can't he introduce you to all of his life? You say that most of his friends are female (another red flag) and that they ask to meet you so they do know about you but he is keeping you separated for a reason. Does he have something to hide? Is he worried that something from his past will be revealed? Was he once a major player? 9 months is a long time to not meet your SO's friends which means he is keeping a part of his life away from you.

What does he say when you ask to meet his friends?

[Asker]

That's how I feel but he says he just don't want to hangout with them but ever since we met he hasn't even tried hanging out with them and if he does its without me for like an hr and don't tell me he did

[Shes_Like_Texas]

I would be worried if I were you. He stills needs to spend time with friends and not just you.

[Asker]

Exactly that's what I said I have been trying to push him to go hangout with his friends and still he don't

[Shes_Like_Texas]

To me this is a red flag. I understand some people aren't very social, but you cannot be in a healthy relationship with someone who only wants you in their world and drops their friends.

[Asker]

I know and that's what worries me because I have introduced him to my friends and family but he still don't want to with his friends and I don't want him to miss out on being with them I even tell him to go out with them without me and he still don't want to he even avoids their messages and calls half the time

[OrangeBoy]

Strange...
Was his idea to make you met his family?

[Asker]

No it was mine and it took months to get him to do it and when we finally did they had only known about me for like a month

[cinderelli]

that's a bit weird.. i can't think of a reason why he would do that

[kiler1000]

yes it sounds like he may have something to hide.