My boyfriends credit card always declines, do I have a right to be mad?

[Anonymous]

We went to get a gift for his friend, and I have to pay because his card declines. 20 minutes later he goes on a shopping spree in the gun store while I sit and watch. His card declines again, I have to pay. He acts like it is not a big deal. This is like the 10th time in 6 months. Why does he keep buying stuff? What if I didn't have the money to pay? I got angry in the gun store, told him this was the last time I was doing this as people stared. I know i might have embarrassed him and myself but I was angry. Do I have a right to be mad? I am livid. I don't do this, why doesn't he keep track of his funds?

Updates

+1 y

He's a psychologist, but out of work right now. He spends so much money and complains about running low on funds. His card keeps declining. He paid me back this time but it still annoying. Seriously, it's happened a lot at dinner too. What if I didn't have 70 bucks to cover the expenses he runs up? Its the principal.

[meowcow]

Wakey wakey from your dreamy state.

Love has made you blind and stupid. Your boyfriend has latched onto you as a source of money. His credit card may not actually decline. He could have simply put in the wrong pin number as well. Either way, I suspect he has never paid you back for the money he spent on your credit card. Or at least, he's only paid back a fraction in an attempt to make it LOOK like he's repaying you, before asking to use your card again.

Simply put, he believes your expenses are now joint. So your money is now his money... but this doesn't go both ways. His money is not your money.

You need to grow a set of balls and refuse him until he pays you back what he owes already. Otherwise, if your one-sided relationship breaks down, you'll be left single and with a debt that will never be repaid by him. You are being played girl.

[Asker]

He treats me a lot. I have already been paid back. His credit card has a daily limit of 200. I just get tired of being placed on the spot to pay when his card declines when he reaches his, limit. He doesn't keep track of his purchases. It's embarrassing!!! What if I didn't have the money when we were out at dinner? How would we pay. He always pays me back but it's the constant declining

[meowcow]

All he needs to do then is call his credit card to increase his daily limit. The limit of $200/day is simply to reduce the effect of fraud, if his credit card is stolen. If his total credit limit does not change, the bank does not care, nor will his credit rating be looked at.

I've removed my daily limit because it was set at $500/day and I was unable to buy big ticket items with it.

[Asker]

Yes that would help but the real problem is that he doesn't watch his account. When he had another debit card it would always decline too. That's why I went off in the gun store.

[Asker]

I am just tired of having to bail him out. When it's his turn to pay for dinner and his card declines, what am I supposed to do, get up and leave?

[meowcow]

That would be funny to watch. Some people have no sense of embarassment.

Like the other day, there was a guy picking up his dinner from a restaurant. He was paying cash... but in coins... like dimes, nickles and pennies for a $20 meal. When the cashier said the prices had increased, he had to fish around his pockets for more change. He was in his mid-20's, and if I did that, I would be so embarrassed. But he seemed fine with it because he came to the restaurant with coins only.

[zShikiz]

He is either piss poor, retarded, or the card his bank is associated with has declines and/or mass compromises often.

I would strongly advise you to tell him to stop doing that on purpose and to manage his funds better. If he has the funds and his card just keeps getting declined, he should pay you back sometimes instead of making you pay for everything. He seems like he's using you because since you did it once, you'll keep doing it in his eyes.

Lay down the law and make SURE he has money on his card with steady income and stop blowing his money making you pay for it.

[Asker]

Hi, he has treated me, and paid me back for today. He has paid for my nails and hair. The problem is not being paid back. It's constantly having his card decline because he doesn't watch his limits. I am tired of being put on the spot to pay regardless if he pays me back at home.

[zShikiz]

Teach him a lesson and let it decline again and when he turns to you and asks for you to cover, look at him and tell him "hell no" and make it a big deal if you have to. This guy is clearly irresponsible and a waste of your time honestly (in this aspect anyway)

He's lucky you've given him 10 times and he still does the same bs. Again, if his card declines cause he's incapable and/or handicapped and can't see his balance or call to hear it, tell him no when he asks you to cover.

[Cmasterson]

It is a big deal because he isn't being finically responsible and after the first time of his credit card declining- it isn't a glitch he could easily see his balance online. 10th time.. I would always make sure he had enough after the fricken 2nd time, you have the right to be mad because its your money that you work for, and its not like you feel like you should pay for these things as sure you can be generous however it's a routine and its annoying.

[benthurber]

No, you have no right to be mad. Either, a) his financial institution sucks/he needs a replacement card, or b) you're codependent (seriously, research it) and won't leave someone with spending addictions, or c) your perception is off.

Differences in financial habits are a common cause of divorce. If you're not on the same page, you're a walking statistic. Don't do the codependent thing and manipulate him into doing what you want, find someone who 'is' what you want or accept the way things are.

[madhatters4]

stop covering for him then. if you enable his behavior he's clearly not going to stop.

it's like a child. if they behave naughtily crying and ranting because they want dessert and you positively re-enforce it, like give them candy to behave, they don't learn the lesson.

[madhatters4]

so sure you can be frustrated but if you don't make him deal with the consequences of his irresponsible actions then you become an enabler

[KaidenKass00]

Uh... if he's a psychologist, why can't he get work? Or do you mean he just has a psychology degree? I have one of those... it's borderline worthless unless you get an advanced degree to go with it and then get the appropriate licensing.

[Asker]

It's a small town. He has a master's in psychyatrict counseling

[KaidenKass00]

Then why isn't he doing that? Seems like a lot of money put into schooling for no reason otherwise.

[BruceTrails]

He should install an app where he can check his money.

[squeelz]

The question is why do you keep paying for him?

[Anonymous]

Yes you have a right to be mad...

[Anonymous]

Stop paying for him!