Am I in the right for being annoyed at my boyfriend, after we were supposed to split bills, but he can't?

[Anonymous]

A little background information, i pay for all the bills. Over the last 2 years, I've been paying for them, I've picked up various jobs just to make ends meet, without his help. I've paid for bills to the point I've missed out, my own mum had to buy me underwear and bras, because I've had no money. she's had to send me money for food, cause my boyfriend was unemployed.

he has a job now, but only goes when he feels like it (sometimes he will do a full week, other times its 2/3 days a week) i know he won't have a job there for much longer and this was the best thing that happened to us. Since im only getting 1 shift a week at my retail job (i have a interview with another place on Wednesday. Pray for me lol)

we had 2 sets of bills this week, being the internet and electric bill, i always pay for the internet (he uses it more, for gaming). But i still pay for it every month, its only $121 a month (its crap internet, but its all i can afford and he always complains about it). This week we have a $466 electric bill, that we agreed to go in halves with, but due to him not being at work for about a week, im left to pay for it and i won't have money for pet food or food for us. So i dont know what to do, i was angry at him, since it was unfair, since he agreed to helping, then back tracking. Was i in the right for being annoyed at him?

he called in “sick” his fine, he has gone back to sleeping all day. Like he did when he was unemployed

[TheBigWhistle]

You seem like a nice person. Why in God's name are you allowing him to use you and take advantage of you like this? It's clear from his comments you shared that he will NEVER change, NEVER do his fair share, NEVER consider himself equally responsible for supporting and maintaining the household. So either get rid of him and find someone better or accept that you will probably have to work two jobs plus do all the housework to pay for everything while he sleeps in and plays videogames all day. Don't think for a second he will ever change no matter how many times you try to lay down the law.

[AviatorTom]

Where do you live? Those bills are very high. My SO and I live in a condo and pay a total of $170 for both decent Internet and electricity (abut $85/month for each).

It's unlikely your boyfriend will change his ways, and you seem to be willing to accept that, but you should seriously look at reducing what you pay.

[KrisPW]

Stop tolerating him being a lazy good for nothing mooch. Love clearly doesn't put food on the table. If he loves you, then he would be working just as hard as you are to make your lives easier. Sleeping all day and playing video games is selfish and lazy. You really need to consider if the relationship can survive if it's as one sided as this is.

[bigbluey]

Yes you do have a right to be angry with him. He’s sorta using you to take care of him and that’s not what you are for. I think u need 2 dump him or something because he’ll survive without you it might teach him to take care of himself. Hope this helps

[Asker]

There has been a few times, where i suggested moving back in with my mum. Since we will have a roof and won't have to pay much on bills etc. he blew up and said that he will not, we are adults and will be living independently.

So i suggested that if we were to do this “independent” stuff, i will only be paying for my share of things (not sure what he will do), ofc i will pay for pet food, but i will only be getting food for myself and changing the passcode on the internet since i pay for the bill monthly. I also told him that if he wishes to have days off, he will be required to help me with housework, i will be waking him up at 7-8am to help me with housework (since he never helps me). He said “fine, ill go to work tomorrow…. Im not doing housework”. I do housework and have a job myself (that I've lost hours at, but applied for another). I told my mum my stress and he overheard me, he contributes to at least 70% of my stress

[bigbluey]

That sounds a little better

[Anonymous]

Him: Bum. Lazy. Mooch. User.

You: Sucker. Doormat. Clueless.

Why you tolerate such, is inexplicable.

Time for you to man up, and for him to ride the curb. When he gets a full time job, 5 days a week, he's more than welcome to return. There's no excuse for not having a job in this economy... even if it's subpar. Money is money and he needs to earn his keep, otherwise he needs to move on and find whatever it is he needs to become a real man.

[noohair]

It sounds like he is an unmotivated freeloader. I do not expect that to change. If you continue, it will not change. He will be riding you like a jackass for as long as you let him. Is he so valuable as a partner that he is worth it? Sorry and good luck.

[cookiecrusher]

Leave.

It's obvious that he doesn't care about you.

Even a lazy bum with a good heart would care for his girlfriend, see her work and struggle and work himself for her, to better her life.

This guy isn't a man. He is just a boy who found himself a new mommy.

Go back to your mother. Workout, try not to pull past things into a new relationships and select a better man, maybe look around 27-30.

[dreamstar72]

Tell him to get out asap. Say something like, “I decided since you and my pet are living here for free and I can only afford one of you. Damn right I keeping the pet because it is nicer and it loves me more and I love it more. So bye bye.”

[Asker]

I told him that if he wishes to fake sick to stay home, he won't be playing video games and will be required to clean the house (while i watch, since i clean the house and work. Most days i clean the house when i come home from work), but i will only clean it, if he goes to work. He has decided that he will go to work tomorrow, or face being woken up at 7am to clean

[DARKCLOUD1945X]

TIME TO SAY GOODBY. If you stay with him shame on you he has already shone you what your life is going to be like it will not get better no matter what bullshit he gives you. Say good bye please read the writing on the wall.

[EaterPeter]

No, just getting annoyed is not enough. Take some action. Leave his butt and move back with mom if possible.

[driven159]

he is a lazy fuck and user abuser he doesn't pay the bills better to be by yourself kick his ass out

[sirderpsalot123]

Leave him. Your boyfriend is a bum.