Do I have the right to be annoyed if my husband said he was coming home early and then comes home late without giving me any update?

Question

We don't ever have these kind of arguments but last night my husband went out with his friend who's also married and said he was coming home early. Early usually means 10PM-11PM. At 2AM he wasn't home yet so I called. I did not really understand what he said over the phone so I waited for him to come home and asked him what happened. He got really defensive and said he's not a teen that needs to tell me all the time where he is. I think he was being inconsiderate. Am I wrong for being upset? No one raised voices at each other but we were certainly stressed.

Bethany22 · Accepted Answer

Time flies when you're having fun with friends. When men divorce, the number one thing they say they love about being single is that now they can go out whenever they want and not have to tell someone where they're going. So why don't you be a wife that your husband can brag about to his friends about how you trust that he is not doing anything to hurt you while he's out? If more of this strange behaviour happens, then try talking to his friends instead of him. Don't make it obvious that you're trying to figure out where he is. Have friendly conversations with his friends, and just weave your questions in naturally. Like say, 'so how was the party last week that you both went to?', and if the friend doesn't give complete answers, then don't force it, as that will look suspicious and the friend will probably tell your husband that you're being distrustful of him. But until you're able to talk casually with his friends, just find something to do that causes you to lose track of time. Maybe practice karaoke or other annoying but fun things that you feel you can't do when your husband is home.

HelpfulWoman · Accepted Answer

yeah, it was inconsiderate. but overall not a big deal, like he said he's an adult

jahaims · Accepted Answer

You should be annoyed but also that isn't a big deal if it doesn't normally happen. He probably was having fun with his friends and lost track of time. Then he was probably annoyed because he took it as you being naggy instead from a place of concern. If drinks were involved that is even more likely. Try to explain you weren't trying to be nagging and controlling. You were just worried.

spartan55 · Accepted Answer

You don't seem like the micromanaging nag so many guys deal with, but even if you were he should have at least given you a COP (change o plans) update. This is one of the rare situations where a simple text would have saved the day.

pierre7i · Answer

He's absolutely in the wrong here, it'd be very inconsiderate of him not to appreciate you'd be worried if he was safe & ok ! Can't help wondering how he'd feel if you did the same thing ?

exitseven · Answer

Okay- he was with his friend. maybe he would be embarrassed if his friend knew you kept him on such a short leash.

Andres77 · Answer

cooperative effort, he should have tried to give u an update.

John_Cobretti · Answer

He's not a teen but he is not single either... he must have given an update in my opinion

Still-alive · Answer

He should have told you where he went. You were right to be upset.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

I'd say that's fair, yeah. His arrival home impacts you. So him changing up plans without telling you is inconsiderate.

love_conquers_lust · Answer

No. Said one thing, did another, intentional or not. Then got defensive about. He got a stick up his butt.

RedInnocent68 · Answer

Yes, but 💩 happens. Try to be kind.

Kelly6 · Answer

no not at all

Do I have the right to be annoyed if my husband said he was coming home early and then comes home late without giving me any update?

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Do I have the right to be annoyed if my husband said he was coming home early and then comes home late without giving me any update?

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