He didn’t make the bed while I was out at the office all day - am I irrational for being annoyed at this?

[Anonymous]

I had to go to the office today, and I find this very exhausting. My boyfriend works from home 100%. I got home to an unmade bed and the same dishes from this morning still there. Am I being unreasonable for expecting him to find 5 minutes to quickly do these things? It wasn’t many dishes at all (nothing to intensively scrub or whatever and we have a dishwasher). And a bed takes 30 seconds to do. Men, why do you forget these small things? It annoys me that I’m tired, I’ve been out all day, uncomfortable in a cold office and he couldn’t even do the dishes and make the bed! Ahhhhh! I don’t want to be annoyed at him but damn this irritates me.

[Bricealan]

Let me bend your ear, a bit. When I was late 20's, I had a 'best friend" (well, I will call him that now) who was the most SELFISH, MONEY GRUBBING, USER, I have ever had the misfortune to have ever met.
He met a girl, somewhere, I can't remember where, and they lived together for a long time.

One Saturday morning, (SHE WORKED SATURDAYS- as a Beautician, and was on her feet for 8 hours every day, working 6 days a week. I went to their apartment, on that Saturday, and this asshole was out 'waxing his fucking corvette!!
I asked to use the bathroom, and went in, and of course she was up early, and left. The bed was not made, and the dishes were in the sink from dinner the night before.
I went back outside and asked this son-of-bitch, "Why don't you make up the bed, and do the dishes for Vicki, while she is at work and she will be free to go somewhere with you tonight"?

Guess what this assholes answer was? "THAT'S WOMAN'S WORK" -
She married this useless bastard and stayed married for 20 years!!! He came to the maternity ward for their first child ------DRUNK!
Take it from there. Any man with any fucking brains, or thought for his wife, that he is supposed to love, would try to help her with the housework. WOMAN"s WORK, now that is a PIG in my view.

[Asker]

Wow thats not cool. I mean my boyfriend never says that. Generally he does his bit autonomously but whenever I have a busy day like going to the office it always annoys me a tad more if he hasn’t quite got to the chores yet. If I’m working from home it wouldn't bother me so much, it makes no sense. Maybe I feel like Im doing enough work by going to the office so I feel a bit miffed when he hasn’t done the ‘easy’ things. In any case when I mentioned to him about the bed, he did it, and he then he sorted out the kitchen and started dinner while I had a brief lie down. So I guess he isn’t so bad haha

[Bricealan]

You have to keep in mind. You are not married... yet. This guy I was describing just got worse as time went by.

[Effably]

Sounds like you were both working, so it isb't as if he was lazying around all day. He did very much the same as you did. Minus transportation.

That said, what you are asking is reasonable enough. But you can just have a talk about these things. A division of expected household tasks is very normal. Although making the bed is more of a habit than must-do to most people. Most guys I know do not actively do so, unless they had that habit beaten into them at some point.

[Asker]

You are correct, makes sense!

[Anonymous]

so you're basically being a mom to a little boy manchild great job raising somebody else's kid// so why are you with him?

[KrakenAttackin]

Your life is so tough, do you need a cookie?

[Asker]

No thanks, I made some myself :)

[KrakenAttackin]

Good, no go make the bed.

[Asker]

Nope he did it