My boyfriend gets mad when I wake him up to come to bed. Is this reasonable?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend falls asleep on the couch in front of the tv, because he has a hard time sleeping. I fall asleep on other couch but then wake up, and tell him to come to bed. He gets mad saying he won’t be able to stay asleep now and why did I wake him up. He gets very moody but does come to the bed with me. My argument is, if he is just going to sleep on the couch every night then he’s a roommate not a boyfriend. I even considered just letting him stay on the couch and see if given the chance, would he just stay on the couch every night? If so, that’s an issue. He has also been complaining I’m not affectionate with him but this is part of the reason. He’s acting this way toward me

[ciitruskiwi]

Just let him sleep or get a tv in your bedroom so he can fall asleep in bed.

I can understand why he doesn't want to be woken up. Its kind of annoying to be woken up when you are fast asleep. It doesn't make him your roommate though. What if you both had different work schedules and you worked days and he worked nights. So at night you'd be asleep and he'd be at work. Does that also make him your roommate because you aren't sleeping together? No.

He's only acting this way towards you because you aren't letting him sleep. You're making it worse by retaliating and not showing him any affection. Hell maybe if you showed him more affection he'd be more willing to come to bed and there your problem has resolved itself.

[ciitruskiwi]

And yes sometimes affection includes being nice enough to just let them get a good night's sleep even if they are on the couch.

[Jmcmanning]

I'd let him sleep wherever he falls asleep at, especially if he's going ot have a difficult time going back to sleep. Sleep is important. How does that make him a roommate if he's not sleeping in bed with you? If you don't live together you're not sleeping nightly together so what's the difference? Anyway, communicaitonis more important - you two need to talks things out. find out why he doesn't think you are affectionate with him, he might want more hugs and kisses. There are tons of ways to show affection and you may need to compromise.

[Asker]

We do live together, that’s the issue. If he’s going to sleep on the couch he might as well have his own place

[Asker]

The affectionate part I get his concern, but it’s goung to get to the point where I’m not going to wake him up and then ask him to get his own place. I’m not renting out a couch to him.

[Jmcmanning]

why is it such a big deal? If he sleeps better on the couch than the bed, I'd let him sleep where he's getting the best sleep. Is the bed not comfortable enough for him? His needs are just as important as yours and a man really needs a good night sleep. I would talk to him, that way you can both resolve this issue. Find out why he prefers the couch over the bed.

[DeterMind]

If he can't sleep on the bed, why force him? Let him sleep on the couch

[drondo4]

He's looking for romance in bed. i know the feeling

[itsnana]

SAME ISSUE HERE. literally googled to see if someone else was going through this. aside from the affection thing, this is him to a T. guess i’ll have to learn to get over it based on the other comments. i’m very affectionate though so i’m not sure why he does that. if anything he is less affectionate than me.

[yourdarksecretx]

Same here
I wanna sleep where I want to.

[Asker]

Well that’s fine if you have your own place. But he lives in MY apartment

[yourdarksecretx]

Ohh but I mean maybe u disturb him while he is asleep.
Like for me my girlfriend in mid of the night she'd suddenly hug me or sleep on my chest or some other stuff... so maybe that's why

[Asker]

Yes that’s fine but you are already sleeping in the same bed. If I’m going to sleep alone every night then might as well be single

[yourdarksecretx]

WTF are you kidding me lol
Just coz of that

[Anonymous]

Sleep with him on the couch!