Am I wrong for asking my boyfriend to come to bed?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend (30yo) and I (24yo) have been dating for 2 years. I’ve always supported him playing video games, as it is also a hobby of mine. This hasn’t bothered me until he began playing throughout the whole night. He is currently laid off from his job, so he plays video games all day and night (anywhere from 10-16 hours a day). I’m a light sleeper and find it difficult to sleep throughout the night (even when he has a headset on) due to noise and lights. I also have trouble sleeping without him in bed with me and enjoy cuddling and being intimate with him at night. I’ve expressed this to him before, and we previously came to an agreement that if I worked the next morning, he would come to bed around 11 pm. On my days off, he’s free to do as he pleases. This worked for a few months. However, now he feels that this isn’t fair. His excuse is that since he starts his new job towards the end of next month, he should be able to play as much as he can before he begins working 9am-6pm. I, however, only work 3 days a week so I feel that asking him to come to bed at 11 pm for only 3 nights is very reasonable. I understand that he enjoys playing video games with his friends, however, I cannot function on 3-4 hours of sleep whenever I work 7:30am-5:30 pm with an hour commute each way. We are struggling to compromise. Am I in the wrong? How do you suggest we settle our differences?

sidenote: he has always worked throughout our relationship, he was suddenly laid off and couldn’t find a job for a few months so this is not a normal occurrence.

[Circlesgames]

Well, just listen to all the positive answers I read them both girls and guys and they are all good, but know discussion takes time and patience, don't get fed up if it doesn't work out, at least he is doing what his doing where u are and not that he leaves the house saying his going to the boys house, sometimes so u can work on this,

Aşk him

What does he want to be the solution.

Let him know ur not forcing him to come, this is a kinda of 2 way trick, what your about to do is reach into ur heart and reach his as well, most times this way am about to tell u to talk to him works.

Tell him... "baby am not trying to force you to stop what you love doing, Infact I know u deserve play time and all (u make sure not to say deserve playing games all night, playing game as much as u want, use the playtime instead) all am saying is that I need you baby, your my peace to sleep, my day so stressful, annoying workers but when I come home and I see my man, I feel secure again... I wake up from time to time and feel sad that ur not with me, its all I ask of baby, please think of it, i need you, your all I have and want to be next to in bed" and then just keep silent for 3-5 seconds and then turn around or go somewhere and sit queit don't day a word again try not to be too angry or moody, but let him know u came in peace, trust me if this doesn't work then its either he has no heart or his too stubborn. But say the word in ur own way.

[Ironic_Method]

First, he's likely in some kind of funk or depression from not working so it's going to be difficult.

However, as someone who plays a ton of games myself, nurturing the relationship helps BOTH of you. If he's not willing to compromise somewhere then it's not going to end well. Intimacy is important along with being able to have discussions with your partner.

[PrettyPriya]

You are not wrong at all. He is being somewhat disrespectful. He knows you have to work and don't get good sleep when he plays those games all night. That is a lot of video game time from the looks of your details.

You two just need to sit down and talk about it and come to some sort of compromise. I kind of think you already have by agreeing he can play games late when you don't have to work. That is reasonable.

He should then respect the fact that the other half (more than half really) of the week he needs to make sure he is letting you get your rest for work. Sounds like his priorities are all backwards.

He is also putting your health above playing a video game. At the VERY least, he should play in a room where you are not trying to sleep. That is the very least he could be doing to make sure you get enough sleep.

[PrettyPriya]

Thank you kindly for the MHO 🙂

[Anonymous]

For the sake of not beating a dead I’d just let him do what he wants for now. I don't know if he’s playing video games in the room with you when you’re trying to sleep but if that’s the case then ask him about volume control, get an eye mask, take a melatonin and go to sleep. As for sleeping alone, well if it doesn’t matter enough for him then leave it alone as well. I wish I could suggest a better route, but he’s set in his ways, surely you don’t want to keep having the same argument and I doubt you’d want to break up. So you just have to live with it. Yes that’s annoying, unsatisfactory and probably upsetting but you’re also choosing to deal with this.

[blarenbond]

Of course you can ask him to do that.
He is of course free to say no, but if he truly cares about you he shouldn't play games for 16 hours a day.
I too have had a time where I didn't work at all and would always make sure my wife gets sleep and attention, because you know, love.

[PositiveNote]

Video games have got to stop at a certain time agreed to you both. Really. It's not a good thing to be have that kind of solo occupation when he has a mate who could participate in whatever he would like to do together.

[OlderThanILook]

You can ask him to, but just know that there's no coming back from telling the boys "I'm hopping off. My girlfriend says I have to get off." I'd recommend not asking while he's in a call or something.

[BrunoCuritiba]

I'll be honest, I don't think it's normal for someone to play video games that much. In a relationship we must pay attention to each other. I think you're right to ask him to spend more time with you.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

30 years old. Doesn't work and plays video games several hours a day? Why even have a man like that? Lol

[Dinosaursandanime65]

I know EXACTLY how to help you. Send him this

[Twalli]

He should still be with you in hed for 3 nights, he has 4 other night to stay up.

[driven159]

He is addicted to them

[TrillXHippy]

See a relationship counselor

[Anonymous]

You aren’t wrong