It’s been nearly 4 days and my boyfriend hasn’t contacted me since our spat?

[lexiwil7]

My boyfriend and I had a spat a few days ago. We had a few drinks in a pub with his mates then went back to the house. I was getting ready for bed as I had class the next morning and had to be up early. I had been studying that whole day while him and his friends stayed downstairs playing video games and loud music. Even though it was distracting me, I left them to it. I figured a bit of give and take, it’s his house too. (We’re both 20 by the way. This is our second year living together and nearly 3rd year of being together)

so when we came home from the pub and they put the music back on again, I asked him to turn it down or go to his friends house which is 2 doors down from us. Because of the alcohol, I admit I stormed off upstairs when I shouldn’t have. as his friends were downstairs, I was texting him telling him of my frustration and how I want the music off, he told me to wise up and that this always happens when we’ve people round. (Not true, as I often party more than him on the days I don’t have class.)

I called him a piece of shit which he was clinging onto like “omg can’t believe you just called me that.” I then rang my dad who picked me up and I stayed at his house. my boyfriend text me the next day asking if I was going home that night. I said no not tonight. I wanted to spend more time with my dad and wanted to cool off a bit more. I went home the day after that to find an empty house. I text my boyfriend and he said he had left to go home. (Home as in to his mothers house- we live in the city and visit our families in the country on weekends as we are students) obviously he brings me home too. I said ok

So he had left me with no way to get home. He also has not replied or text me since that convo nearly 2 days ago. I don’t know what to do. I don’t believe I did anything wrong, and I’m trying everything in my power not to contact him. But I’m feeling so anxious as we’ve never gone this long without talking. Do I contact him or wait?

[girl2034]

I think it was kind of selfish of him to keep the music on when you wanted to sleep, since sleep is a necessity and he needs to respect that and realize he's not the only person living in that house. He could have at least lowered the music down or gone to his other friends house as you said. So I dont think you did anything wrong. I think you guys need to set up some rules though and keep to them to show respect to one another.

[Wonderer89]

Let it play out. You admit you over reacted due to the drinking, and he probably did the same and it blew out of proportion. Instead of coming home to fix it when you were both sober you chose to stay with your dad for longer so he’s also made a choice to go home for a little while.
Have you reached out to him in the two days to see how he is or to say sorry?

[lexiwil7]

Thanks for your comment. And no I haven’t. I text him to ask if he had left to go home, he said yes, I said ok. Expecting him to at least reply after a few hours or so. Nothing back from him. I don’t see why I should text him again if he can’t bother texting back?

[Wonderer89]

He tried to make amends when he asked if you were coming home and you rejected that and continued to stay away. After letting you know where he is why should he reach out again when he already tried?

[lexiwil7]

So do you think I should text him or let it blow over and play it out as you initially stated? I just don’t want to be seen as a push over.

[Wonderer89]

Talking your relationship out isn’t being a pushover. It takes maturity and respect both for him and for yourself to put your ego aside to sort out problems.
Personally I’d reach out, even just to say you hope he’s having a good time and that you’d like to sort it out when he’s ready and then leave it in his court.
He absolutely could have handled your very reasonable request better... but at the same time you could hve too. Acknowledging that when talking will go a long way

[Anonymous]

It kind of sounds like you overreacted. Sure, he could have listened to you from the start but you directly went to insult him, stomring off (showing you don't want to discuss and avoiding conflit) and you even left the house.
This is not a mature way to handle a relationship. You did wrong by overacting and not talk to him, I kind of understand his reaction.

[Earl27]

Man if you're not his priority, then he's not the one. He should have prioritized your sleep for your classes over his friends playing games and music. I hate to tell you this because of the time you invested in em, but you need to dump his ass