My husband got mad at me and left the house at night and went to sleep somewhere else, is that acceptable?

[Anonymous]

Me and him last week had a huge fight and he 85% caused it due to the way he was talking to me and treating me.. still healing from that. I am pregnant but it’s a cryptic pregnancy which causes me to be really tired and overwhelmed during day and restless at night. So I cook clean wash laundry and everything he only takes trash out occasionally. He brought a lot of things home and groceries and left everything in the living room plus a bunch of tools of his everywhere on the floor. So as he went to shower to come to bed I cleaned up our room and mopped, changed the sheets, light a nice candle and change pillowcases just to make him feel comfy, he comes in put his headphones on and start getting mad at me for cleaning calling me lazy and he turned the room light off I turn it back on and finish and left.

He comes out of the room because it bothers him because im mopping the living room ( mind you these days I mostly mop at nigjht and put things in order and he never has a clue or when awake he doesn’t get really care and Is usually in awe to see the good job I did) he then slams the br door and I opened it and told him that he should calm down and stop slamming doors he then gets up and left the house and it’s 2 am now I check his location ( he doesn’t know I have his location he’s stubborn sometimes he refuses to communicate where he’s with me so I had to do that) and he’s at his sisters house. He’s been snappy toward me lately and was very rude and mean to me this afternoon he won’t pick up so I texted him that we will be done if he doesn’t come home he ignores and block me. I think this is the end of it because he is overreacting and has been really mean to me lately though we try to make it work now today again he was being a jerk. I’m surprised his sister didn’t feel him to go back to his wife and that it’s not ok for him to leave our home

[dustybiker]

You both need to talk to someone to learn how to talk to each other, sooner than later. Home is supposed to be a safe and happy place.

[Asker]

I suggested counseling but he turns it down and told me he doesn’t need another human being to tell him what to do and insulted me as well

[dustybiker]

Maybe call and ask for tips to convince him for one session?

[Asker]

Maybe but I know him he sees counseling as an ego crusher I don’t think anything I’d say or do would work

[dustybiker]

You have to want to help yourself.

[Asker]

I’m planning to get counseling solo regardless because I’m very young and only 1 year almost 1 month married

[dustybiker]

That’s smart. I do wish you the best.

[ArtemisSilver]

He sounds like an idiot, but giving him space is probably not a bad idea if he's losing his shit.

Could be worse, better than hitting you or something but still not great.

[Asker]

I understand he needs space but for him to leave the house and not telling me where he’s going in the middle of the night and if it wasn’t for me having his location even though he’s not aware of that I wouldn’t even know where he’s at

[ArtemisSilver]

Ya it's pretty creepy that you're tracking him actually. Maybe you deserve eachother.

[Asker]

I started using it because once there was a major road accident and he got mad at me and left and turned off his phone so I heard about the car accident minutes after he left and apparently the person died. I start calling him no answer my car was getting repaired, so I ubered myself there jsut to find out it wasn’t him plus he refuses to let me know where he is but wants to make sure I tell him where I’m going when I’m going and when I’m coming back. After that experience I just use the share my location system jsut so I can have a peace of mind. If you think it’s because I’m insecure no my husband hasn’t cheated on me once and doesn’t make me feel Insecure in that way

[ArtemisSilver]

It's just weird to track him like he's a tuna at sea or something lol

[Asker]

Stubborn as he is I don’t have a choice but to do that.

[ArtemisSilver]

Why do you need to know where he is? He's either home or not.

[ArtemisSilver]

Having my wife haste me for stopping some place for a beer sounds irritating as hell.

[Asker]

we work together and live together so we almsot are always together , back in the days before moving together he’d go radio silent for hours sometimes and leave me worried but wants to know my every move so I got a solution. This Is my first time tracking him since we started living together

[wa1t1ngFuture]

I hope women out there can get a man who doesn't like to be angry, patient, humble and basically a good man

[Asker]

I know right. I wouldn’t wish what I’m going through in anyone no matter how cruel the person is. I’m stressed out to the max. Prior meeting him I was a very calm person, the person I dated before we never really had a problem always fun and good vibes but my husband started fighting with me 3 months into dating because he wants complete control of me and said I need to be submissive meanwhile we were just getting to know each other and I was confused as to why he was picking fights with me over something as stupid as me saying I’d rather drink the wine from a glass than a cup

[wa1t1ngFuture]

I'm so sad you chose the wrong person I hope your husband can change and also about the wine it was ridiculous to be angry

[TenkRealist]

It happens. Talk it out calmly when he's calm. Don't take any drastic actions. You also, take it easy. Okay?

[Asker]

I understand if he needed to calm down he could have went to the other room or even the car. The fact that he was not even sleepy yet he was listening to his broadcasts with his headphones on

[Asker]

Thank you I will try

[Asker]

If the roles were reversed he’d throw a fit and call me all kinds of name and make sure he divorces me. Plus in our culture this is the utmost disrespect the fact that he left our home and went to his family home to sleep and they accepted him (rule is if he’s not in danger or the situation isn’t out of control there is no reason and justification to leave the house and sleep somewhere else)

[TenkRealist]

I see. But I still say, it is best to compromise, take it easy and try to make it work. Yes it was a dick move by him, I don't deny that but still. Take it easy. Stay away from stress too. Not good for the baby.

[Asker]

Yes you’re right.😭 I was just thinking about the amount of stress my baby has been experiencing and it breaks my heart to know our first creation has to suffer like this. I told him “ babe please I really don’t want to argue over anything that’s not important please I’m begging you just let it go I’m sorry for using the brand new dustpan you bought sorry I thought it was the one we have here, I’ll wash it with bleach” i wished he’d just understand

[TenkRealist]

Yeah. I can understand. Take it easy. Stay away from stress as much as you can.

[EdwinLivingston_]

Not at all acceptable

[Asker]

Usually I let him get away with a lot of the things he does to me but this one I really need to make sure he learns his lesson. Earlier noon I was moving something and made a noise he was on the phone he got mad and threw a pen at me while I was walking away the pen planted directly on my thigh and before I know it my leg got heavy and I checked there was blood he didn’t apologize and said I actually stabbed myself with something to make myself bleed

[Wise4myage]

That is not acceptable.