I keep cheating on my bf?

Question

I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years. Our relationship is a rollercoaster, we have had a lot of issues and although we have worked on them their is still many. I wanted to so bad to move into the next step in our relationship by moving in but he doesn't want that until he is settled in his career.

About 2 years ago I met another guy & started another relationship with him while I was with my boyfriend. I ended up really falling for the guy but it didn't work out. Since then I have had random hookups with other guys. I don't know why I keep doing this? I love my boyfriend very much but I think its because he doesn't fully give me what I need and I am looking for validation else where. I feel sick to my stomach because I know this is wrong and he doesn't deserve this.

Shorty1991 · Accepted Answer

Maybe he just wants space, and would be happy with you staying overnight two or three times a week. Sometimes couples don't want to be in each others faces everyday. Like that song "leave me alone (I'm lonely)" by pink "Go away, give me a chance to miss you, say goodbye, it'll make me want to kiss you. I wouldn't take it personally. I have two aunties that have been with the same partners for years, they don't live together but they take turns about stating overnight at each others houses and they go away on holidays together. It keeps it fresh. But, however if your not satisfied with your current relationship. Then you need to end it. You really don't really sound like the type that wants to settle down when you keep cheating in your partner. Six years together is a long time, but you weren't truly happy. I don't think you should have a boyfriend. You seem like you would be happy with hookups.

Cmasterson · Accepted Answer

It is wrong, because you're basically just using your boyfriend as a backup and hope that he changes his mind, meanwhile in the meantime you do look for validation and attention from these other men. Just because you love someone doesn't mean you're meant to be with them, what if his career doesn't take off right? Then he's not going to want to settle.

Fearless_banana · Accepted Answer

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heavensgift2girls · Accepted Answer

First stop blaming it on your boyfriend not giving you everything you need. You are just blaming the victim to remove yourself as being the one at fault.

Obviously you are not able to have a monogamous relationship. Some people are, and some people aren't. Find a guy that is okay with having an open relationship. This means you will have to accept the guy having sex with other girls as well.

madhatters4 · Answer

break up with your boyfriend. you may love him but you aren't in love with him and it isn't a true love. you want him to commit more... commit more to what? a girl who is betraying his trust all because she isn't getting what she wants?

if you feel like you aren't getting what you need and thus need validation that's fine just end your relationship and look for a guy who can give you everything you feel you need

Anonymous · Answer

Sounds harsh, but really, almost everyone can agree that you deserve it at this point. Have you tried just ending it with him? If you said it yourself that he doesn't deserve this, then why are you putting him through it anyway? Because you "love" him? How terribly greedy.

GreatnessRevamped · Answer

"I love my boyfriend very much but I think its because he doesn't fully give me what I need and I am looking for validation else where. "

Yeah, that's pretty much it.
You may love him, but you are not in love with him nor do you respect him enough to end the relationship. I would feel sorry for him, but there's two sides to every story.

mutedaisy · Answer

He's right not to move in with you. If you feel like he can't give you what you want go find someone else, just break up with him. Continuously cheating is kind of disgusting.

AustinMan · Answer

Forgive yourself. It's clear to me that your primary relationship is pretty pathological. He's using excuses to maintain his emotional distance. I suggest either couple's therapy or maybe moving on.

TheDevilInside · Answer

i think you have deep rooted issues psychologically that makes you want to Sabotage the good things in your life. Either consciously or subconsciously. Talk to a psychologist about this.

Prof_Don · Answer

U don't love your boyfriend while u are sucking and fucking another dick. Get real. The lesson learned is; if u want to get with someone else, break up first, THEN pursue the other guy.

tenchu11 · Answer

Two things One dump your boyfriend leave him and be honest about why (that's one) Two: get counseling

HookingSwan · Answer

My God 😦 Uh I dont think there are any valid excuses u can come up with for this one Sorry 😒

Sara413 · Answer

Break up. You don't deserve him if you can't be faithful.

Sunflower19 · Answer

How about this: break up with your boyfriend of 6 years because clearly he deserves better.

selmo93 · Answer

Leave him. Or at least tell him. As you both eed to talk about why

Zendrya · Answer

you need to break up with your boyfriend because he deserves someone 10x better than you

Decentguy · Answer

i think you dont love your boyfriend anymore, i know this sounds very harsh but its the truth, otherwise you won't hook up with anyone, i would suggest you to move on and find someone else.

orphan · Answer

you don't love your boyfriend when you're getting fucked by another dude. quit lying to yourself.

Ryan72 · Answer

Be real with him. He will either appreciate it and change or get passed and leave. Either way it is the right thing to do

Anonymous · Answer

Your boyfriend doesn't deserve this. Just leave him.

anonman32 · Answer

the real question is, why does your boyfriend even stay with you?

coolbreeze2 · Answer

you probably like the thrill part of it and the danger

tristan22 · Answer

i think you should talk to him about your feelings and the problem you have with him and other men.

I keep cheating on my bf?

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