My boyfriend cries a lot and it turns me off?

[Anonymous]

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 7 months. He's the love of my life. In those 7 months I've seen him cry about four times. This may not sound like much but I've never seen my dad cry or any man for that matter and it's taken some time to get used to.
The first two times he cried (months apart) was about his grandfather who they lost a little over a year ago. That seemed normal. But then the other day I was watching a super sad dog video and I started sobbing (dog videos + birth control= bad news) and he was watching it with me and began to cry too. This turned me off a little bit.
And then yesterday we were having a misunderstanding, he had upset me and I was crying and I was saying that maybe we should just see whee this goes and not take the relationship as seriously as we had been and he started to cry. When he started to cry I felt super guilty and I hugged and kissed and took back what I said.
Is it wrong of me to find it odd that he cries a lot? Do most guys cry on a regular basis? Like I said the men in my life have never cried in front of me, the only time my father can recall crying in adulthood was when he had to put his dog down.

[Philosopher_Edge]

In all honest, I would say that you are lucky to have a guy that is open with and okay with his emotional self. Girls now a days are spoiled with having guys that are more emotionally available and open.

Guys my age and older have had to work past some serious male conditioning issues to be able to even acknowledge we have emotions outside of stoic happiness and blatant anger.

Get over yourself.

I can already imagine you're gonna break up with this guy, to go date a 'harder' guy just to find out he's doesn't allow himself to be an emotional person. Because to him, being emotional isn't 'manly' and then you'll be back here complaining that your guy isn't emotional enough for you.

And as for never seeing your father cry, I can Guarantee he's cried. Probably many times. But he's too embarrassed to show you his tears because maybe you'll think less of him, like you do your guy.

[LaFemmeFatale]

You are right, I would like if a guy was so open and emotionally close with me.

[cb934586]

In defense of this woman, I do not think he should have cried when she said she wants to go slower in t the relationship. He was being manipulative. She had to comfort him like a child. Is she his mommy or a potential life partner? She should be able talk about her feelings without guilt.

[Maximumdepth]

@cb934586 This is great point that I've never realized with the exact same thing from women! They cry too manipulate me, especially if I'm wanting to slow things down and they don't want that... Geez and I thought they were genuinely hurting! Wow, thank you for the thoughtful insight!!

[Oram52]

While I would agree no girl wants an emo, but a guy crying mere 4 times in 7 months is a lot? First two was regarding his grandfather, I'd call that very insensitive.

Do guys cry on regular basis no, but when something is upsetting then yeh. Should guys not be human. Shouldn't your boyfriend be comfortable enough to be vulnerable around you and show his emotions. I mean few tears here and there ain't bad is it.

I certainly agree with the 4th time that was probably over the top crying like that. But I don't think 4 times in 7 months is too much considering first two times were regarding his Grandfather.

[lumos]

Ffs, the guy cried twice because he lost his grandfather, once when he saw you crying and once because you basically threatened to break up with him. He just seems like an empathetic person, like he cries when he sees other people cry.
I think this is a good thing. Fuck gender roles, fuck the fact that men supposedly aren't allowed to cry. You can cry at a fucking puppy video but he can't? Fuck that utter bullshit and quit perpetuating harmful stereotypes. This is why male suicide rates are so high.

[Negrodamuss]

here here!

[LaFemmeFatale]

Omg he is so cute! lol
Seriously men cry and It is not a new thing. If he cries with you it means that he feels open and close enough.
Do you think your father cried only once in his life? No just you didn't see it.
Everyone cries and It is a natural reaction.
Problem is in you now, not in him. You think that man who cries can't be that masculine as you want but even the strongest people cry and tbh - to be able to cry is a sign of strength rather than weakness.

[Jaded214]

So besides crying over his grandpa, he only seems to cry when you cry. This is the reason why most guys don't show any emotion. He cried a few times in almost 1 year, big deal. If you loved him as much as you claimed then this wouldn't bother you as much.

[AlwaysAGoodDay]

Men cry and probably often when they are alone. People like you are often the reason men might feel like they can't show emotions to others. Men get looked down on for showing their soft emotional side and honestly I think its wrong. Men often have to suffer emotionally without anyone to comfort them or help them with their problems.

You are probably the one person your boyfriend is probably able to open up to and feel comfortable sharing his emotions and feelings with. In a way it is a bit of a betrayal of trust to frown on your boyfriend when he is crying around you. I mean as long as he has a legit reason to have emotional pain and isn't simply crying about not getting his way like a baby then there is nothing wrong with it.

[Ephemera1]

Kind of weird for you to say a lot when it was only 4 times. I know that when someone I love, like my mother or sister, cries I start to cry too. Only because I have a soft spot for sad women. A month or two back my grandfather died and my mother was in tears. I didn't cry because of his death but I cried because seeing my mother in that condition got to me.

[Levin]

I'm not sure, at your age, or younger, I was maybe a bit all over the place. At my age, well, many years, even decades go by without crying!

Unfortunately you tend to get emotionally stunted and repressed men at one end, and gushing and emotionally effusive at the other. You can't win!

[Lanabear119]

Wait so, you cried because of a dog video, and got turned off when your boyfriend did the same? Uh yeah, maybe you should leave him if you want an emotionless sociopathic boyfriend. If you won’t appreciate a boyfriend who actually feels comfortable to express how he feels, then let him go and find some girl who will. Don’t waste his time.

[LaVilaine]

He's cried four times in 7 months. I hardly think that qualifies as a lot. I get it. You don't think men should be emotionally vulnerable. You have a sweetheart for a boyfriend but you would rather have an unfeeling rock. Okay.

[schnipdip]

Sadly, the irony of most women today... He has to be super caring, express his emotions to me but not too much, etc etc etc

[schnipdip]

But then they crucify him when he does start to express how he feels.

[LaVilaine]

@schnipdip I think it's a very traditional mindset. One that I do not personally prescribe to.

[Words_and_Wisdom]

A guy who expresses how he feels is abnormal to you? And only 4 times out of 7 months and you're complaining about it? Jesus Christ you're a dumb cunt.

[Anonymous]

maybe it turns him off that you cry over stupid shit like a fuking "sad dog video" I bet you've cried way more than he has in the past 7 months but it's ok for you because you have a vagina right? You cried about the same exact shit that he cried over.

[CoolSky01]

it just goes to show that showing emotions infront of girls is a very bad idea, never listen to what a girl says, they have no idea what they want.

[JSmuve]

So 4 times in 7 months is now considered regularly? Gtfoh with that.

[Dog19]

Yeah, I can see why it would be odd. Guys rarely cry

[Katy16]

No its not "normal" but I guess he's just a very emotional guy, if it helps I'd be turned off too, but if you love him I guess you'll have to get used to it

[FantasticDay]

No, he is not your love of your life, you don't love him.

[selmo93]

No its not something guys generally do.
but some men do. Just need to desensitise yourself to it

[SEX-BEFOK]

The other two times he cried was when you cried? Some people have the ability to feel exactly what another person is feeling. Hope that makes you see things differently :-)

[Anonymous]

You think we're turned on when you girls cry all the time?

[user2345354]

This bored me to tears. Maybe that's the root cause.

[bobbyxx]

Yes women crying turns me off as well. I just wanna go down the pub.

[TonyRyanAgain]

Tell him to close his gina and bring his juevos back.

[abundantlyrich]

He probably has lots of estrogen

[Fearless_banana]

Well he is a pussy lol. It should turn you off.