My boyfriend hates when I cry?

[Anonymous]

When i worry about him or so. ething that is important to me, I sometimes cry seeing him not well or out of frustration or just being mentally tired

So he saw me cry and be sad, he said :"you must be steong for me. I can't stand seeing you sad, because i get sad too"

But he sounds angry when he says it

Like if he very annoyed about it.

Once i asked if im not allowed to have or xpress my feelings, he said he is sad aeeing me sad

But the thing is he acted angry at me and annoyed, not sad

Why he acts like this? why his words do not match his actions?

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh sis, that does not sound like healthy communication at all. A few thoughts:

- No one should tell you how to feel or not feel. Your emotions are valid.

- When a partner sees you upset, their instinct should be to comfort, not make you feel bad about it. Big red flag there.

- His words say he's "sad" seeing you cry, but his angry tone/energy tells a different story. That's manipulative.

- Sounds like maybe he just doesn't like confronting emotions or feeling helpless. But that's not your fault or problem to manage.

- You deserve someone who will be there for you in hard times with care, empathy and patience. Not judge you for having feelings.

This would be a dealbreaker for sure. You need to talk to him seriously - say you won't tolerate being made to feel bad about expressing yourself. If he doesn't change, you may need to rethink this relationship. You got this!

[Drew-1990]

If he is getting angry about it then that is a problem, he shouldn't but over all I think he just doesn't like you being sad. I would not like seeing my girlfriend sad, I would want to help her feel better.

[kylee2437]

Most likely because he knows that your mood is automatically decided based on how he is feeling, which in a way is a form of codependency. He wants to be an individual and he wants to be able to rely on you when he is feeling down. You become harder to rely on when you are matching someone’s energy levels

[laly520]

thats not healthy