He doesn't know how to comfort me?

[Anonymous]

Been best friends for at least 5 years, but we recently started dating. I had suddenly to put my dog to sleep yesterday and it practically killed me too. She was 13 years old, and my first dog. My boyfriend couldn't have been less comforting. When I told him, he said "sorry for your loss" and that was about it. I asked him to come over later but he responded by saying he had other plans, so at this point I'm high in my emotions and I broke up with him. I'm not a priority to him, but I don't understand how he could be so cold as to not even ask me if I'm okay. He was better at comforting me when we were friends.

[Orkséncé]

Take a gentle approach and tell him that you want to discuss about something with him.

Tell him that when you need comfort and he does not give you any, you fell alone, misunderstood, left-over, unwanted, and that your sadness is excarcerbated.

Also tell him that you are thankful to have him in your life (if that is the case most of the time) and next time you need comfort and cry, you would like him to take you in his arms, tell you it's going to be ok, tell you he loves you, tell you he is here for you.

Might not turn him right away into an emotionally smart person but it will be the beginning. Do not hesitate to reiterate those demands if he forgets.

Remember that you are a woman and you are more caring, that emotional comforting is easy for you to do. He is a man, probably has never be taught to be emotionally aware.

Be strong and do not let his low emotional quotient undermine your relationship nor your self-esteem. You can teach him emotional awareness. Just be brave and patient.

However, after a while trying, if he is a total moron and refuses to listen to you when you are trying to get some attunement, and is clueless on a lot of others relationship basics, I suggest you give up on him.

Wishing you the best of luck.

[Flash123]

Don't let this ruin your relationship. Breakups suck for both people especially if you were friends for so long. Did you ask him what his plans were? Did you make a point to tell him that your depressed and that you needed him? Guys don't think as hard about prioritizing as girls do. What's important to us will change if a football game is on or if sex is involved. It sucks but its the truth. He might have just not known how upset you were. And don't respond back saying that you were crying and he knew it. because if we see your crying and we try to comfort you and it doesn't work. we're gonna give you some space and let you calm down. We aren't as emotionally strong as women. If anything call your Best girlfriend and hang out with her. Back to the point, don't let this stop the relationship. You already lost one thing that made you happy don't add on to that. You'll regret it.

[selmo93]

He probably didn't know what to say