Why do I feel so physically/emotionally drained around my girlfriend?

[homies]

Whenever i text her or call her or see her in person i get so tired and feel like crap. When im around my friends im completely opposite, i have so much fun with them. But a lot of times my girlfriend comaplains and complains, and doesn't seem to enjoy anything. But always asks to hang out and texts me 24/7. And every now and then she will get into these moods where she is super happy and fun! And i get super excited, but then it only lasts for a little... and i soon feel down again right afterwards. I get so tempted to make up excuses not to talk to her, but i would never be able to forgive myself if i hurt her feelings. She is going through a ton of crap at home, but she isn't doing anything to fix it, and just complains to me and other guys about it and i dont know how i should respond to it, in a way that makes her realize that she needs to try and fix the problem instead of whining about it. i care about her so so much, but i feel like shit whenever i see her. How can i be better? To help her be happier and to help her fight the problems she is going thru? i dont want to undermine her problems, but sometimes i really dont see how they are that big of a deal. But other times, it is some of the wort shit ever, and its just terrible that she has to go through it. To sum up... I dont want to be the guy she comes to, to hear stuff like "im so sorry, i hope it gets better... thats so awful, im sorry u have to go through this" ... and stuff like that, ya know? I want to be the one she comes to, knowing that i care about her and want her to go through this and help her to do it. That way, she will have more time to be happy and our relationship will be much more fun and greater! Thankyou!

[Dim_121]

It is because she is toxic and she is draining your emotional energy. Simply put you can't do shit if she is not doing anything to fix it. She won't get better because she has you to drain/lean on. My freind started dating a girl just like that even when three of his closest freinds told him not to. I just kept quite about it hoping that it would end quickly. Now after 6 months he is never happy and he looks like a walking zombie. She is just draining him way to much and she is never happy. She seemed happy when they first started dating but then she wrapped him around her finger and then started showing her true self. She has pushed all of his close freinds away and she still makes nasty faces at me when I say hi to them. I still don't know how she explains that to him or if he just ignores it. Your a selfless person and she is taking advantage of you. Sadly the best thing you can do for her is to start ignoring her and asking her to stop complaining cause you can't take it. If she acts out to much leave her. Or if she threatens to leave you then dump her. You can't help some one that does not want to be helped. Also she won't change her mind about you being her complaints office and sympath board. As long as you listen your her help. She does not want to get through it sadly and she knows that you won't risk hurting her so why should she change. I hate to break it to you but she will keep using you for emotional support until you snap or realize that she is toxic and is sapping your energy. There is a great reason for you being better around your freinds. They are giving you energy and attention instead of being so demanding of it.
I wish you luck with her. Talk with your freinds about this problem they will probably tell you the same thing. That your not nearly as energetic as you were before you started dating her.

[homies]

Wow. This is exactly how i feel. Thankyou

[Dim_121]

Your welcome I hope my freinds xp and my perspective helped.

[Mysterio421]

Because she is a nagger. Do what I say and watch her reaction. The moment she starts complaining, tell her to stop and that you won't tolerate it. And mean it! Simple as that. If she continues, find a girl that makes you happy.

[RedRobin]

No offence, but she sounds like a toxic person. It's fine if she vents to you, but if that's all she ever does and she never lets you vent to her it's not OK. If you want to stay with her, try to tell her politely that you don't wan't to hear her complain all the time, especially when it comes to the things you don't think are a big deal (you could just tell her you don't think it's a big deal).

[homies]

But its obviously a big deal to her, rightt? and she almost never asks about my life. Like literally, whats going on, even if i mention something really important to me... She just says somethhing like, "nice!" And then completely dismisses it and talks about her shitty day.

[RedRobin]

You could tell her politely you'd appreciate it if she let you vent to her sometimes

[selmo93]

Well the fact you said some of its not a big deal kinda shows you don't want to be the one she goes to. As she's probably just venting and just wants you to listen.
Maybe she's depressed as that causes the downNess

[homies]

Okay, how can i politely ask if she is depressed? i have thought it before, i just wanst sure. And its not something to be takin lightly at all, so i have to look into right away. I've also suspected that she has hid her feelings sometimes, and thats when she pretends to be really happy for a few minutes. I really do worry about this, how should i bring it up to her?

[selmo93]

Just bring up in the conversations how she's feeling. If it's a regular Unhappiness, bring up what's wrong? And if she can't explain just suggest a doctor.
And the happiness side might not be pretending. I've had depression and we can still be happy, it just never lasts long...

[homies]

Okay, i will do just that. I dont know if all these other opinions are right or not... and that maybe im being too selfless. I don't know. I feel like pushing her away no matter what, tho, would just be a selfish decision. Thankyou so much!