Help, I'm worried my boyfriend is gay?

[Anonymous]

I don't know if I'm overthinking these this situation or not. Keep in mind that a while back I used to date some guy i thought was straight. When we stopped dating, I found out through a friend he was bisexual and messed with a guy classmate in college. I was so devastated and shocked. And now I feel like I try to see if every guy I'm with is attracted to guys. I try to pick out the little things and over think it. At times I don't know if i am overthinking it or I am right and just having bad luck with guys. Well anyway, my boyfriend doesn't like gays he says he thinks it's gross and weird according to him. I heard guys that are homophobes are secretly gay. So that's one thing that worries me. Another thing is whenever we're out and I see a male passing by us, I look at my boyfriend to see if he checks them out or not. Yesterday I saw a guy passing by and i kind of looked at my boyfriend to see where his eyes were going to and he was looking/staring at the guy. Another time we were at some place drinking and I saw some guy walking to the door and my boyfriend was kind of staring. Another time, we went out and my boyfriend saw some guy and was making a comment about how dumb his shoes look. And I was thinking that he was making an excuse just to look at him. Cause I saw him looking.. Other than that he doesn't really do anything else that makes me feel like he's gay.. I am just so worried. I don't know what to do. I have asked him multiple times and the last time I asked him he said that I should just break up with him since i think he's gay. And he doesn't want to be with someone that thinks he's gay. So I don't want to keep asking and risking my relationship. When we hang, all I can think is that he's attracted to men and that thought scares me so much. Please someone help me and give me advice on what to do. Or how to figure out if he really is gay. :(

[GorgeousVixen95]

Um... yea you are just over thinking it!! If he swears he is not gay, then he's not. He could be looking at those guys for different reasons: 1) guys are allowed to check out other guys just like girls check out other girls even tho they are straight, 2) for example, my boyfriend stares down guys he catches staring at me, gives them a "I will fuck u up if u look at my girl again" kinda look, 3) maybe he wasn't actively staring, could just be he was staring in that direction or not paying attention and happened to be looking in the direction of that guy.
As for the shoes, c'mon, everyone comments or talks shit about someone else. He probably noticed the dudes shoes and wanted to poke fun at them with you. Me and my man do it all the time, I'll point out how bad a girls butt looks in a pair of jeans and he will point out how some guy might look horrible with how they do their hair. But I'm straight as fuck and he is straight as fuck. Nothing to worry about!! Just start to worry if he wants u to use a strap on, wear a helmet & shoulder pads, use a deep voice, and let him call you John in bed lol. You got nothing to worry about sweetie ;)

[Brooksbaby93]

My boyfriend does the same but he's not gay at all. He gets jealous of the guys clothes. Or something. But i would honestly ask him one more time and say hey I'm not gonna be mad if you're gay or anything won't tell anyone but please tell me the truth if he's leaves then it's his lose. People that are secretly guy and don't tell and you end up getting married it can seriously ruin whatever was built and if you have kids it's hard. I don't believe he is. And possibly you may be hurt. But again the guy you dated before was bisexuals not gay there's a difference.

[kelliekelliekellie]

In my opinion, you should just summon your courage and ask him. Life is too short to spend it with the people that aren't suitable for you. And who knows, maybe coming out will be his own relief.

On the other hand though, if you don't want to do this, I would advise you not to worry too much about it. Sometimes people are acting weird without it necessarily meaning that they're gay or anything.

Communication is the key, IMHO.

[XRabbitHeartX]

Looking at people doesn't make you gay. I look at females all the time, am I bi? No. Lesbian? No. Looking at people is not a definite they must be gay. Unless he is gawking at guys for minutes or makes comments, there is nothing to be worried over.

If he treats you well, has no intimacy issues with you and you two get along, why doubt it?

[iCroissant]

I look at guys too and I'm 100% straight. It's called comparison. I want to know if that guy attacks me can I beat him with brute force or find a weapon?
Also the homophobe being gay thing is bs. People are too complex with their opinions and desires to be catagorized like that.

[coolbreeze2]

I think you just need to back off on this. Basically you don't have any proof. if you checked his internet history ( had it been cleared is more the point) then you have no evidence bar your own insecurity. I am gay by the way.

[cinderelli]

you're over thinking of course.. and it's like an insult for straight guys to be called gay.. I know it's not same as girls being called bi or lesbians.. but guys are very sensitive about it.. he might only be checking his clothes... or something cool those guys had on them... girls do that too.. like I check out if a girl is wearing dope shoes.. it doesn't make me lesbian..

[kelliekelliekellie]

@cinderelli that's true. I would even add that guys who take care of themselves - nice clothes, face cream, etc - are not necessarily gay either!! The appropriate term for it would be metrosexual.

[cinderelli]

@kelliekelliekellie yeah she shouldn't ruin her relationship over this..

[fhate]

Ops. That's wrong... If you have a good sexual life, don't worry. But also he may be a bisexual; and you're also a human 😶 So what?

[singlebee]

Hahahahaha you are letting your past affect your present.. Which will eventually lead to him dumps you anyways..

You should really stop overthiking!!!

[Anonymous]

He probably is.. go on his cpu.. look at his history.. cookies. favorite sites.. if it's porn all the time you'll be able to tell

[Asker]

So he sounds gay to you? I do go through his phone and history don't find anything weird

[diegoD]

so what if he is , he is probably bi, why can't you be open minded about it?

[kelliekelliekellie]

@diegoD Well she has a legitimate case to be concerned about! It's her life at stake. The least he could do is at least to tell her

[diegoD]

@kelliekelliekellie they could have a thresome.

[diegoD]

dont take life that seriously, you won't survive it

[kelliekelliekellie]

@diegoD I'm just saying that people should be honest towards each other, life is short, no time to loose

[shipoopi]

he's not gay, he is insecure about the other men who can cuck him

[Anonymous]

If his dick smells like shit he is gay

[Whaaaaa]

Girl just chill