Is it normal my feelings are hurt that my boyfriend doesn't want to spend new year's eve with me?

[Anonymous]

I asked what he was doing for new year's eve and he said he had just bought a ticket to a concert to go to with his friends. He said I probably wouldn't like the music. He was all excited about it so I just pretended to be happy for him. He said we could do something the next day though.

But I'm kinda sad because the past few years I've had no friends to spend new year's eve with, and I told him that before. I thought finally I'd get to spend it with someone. Should I tell him my feelings or just ignore it? I don't want to ruin his fun.

[Kamio]

How "new" is the relationship? If its a few weeks/two months old than fair enough. You should let him know that you are going to miss him... but let him have some fun with his friends.

Honestly - he should have offered to take you/asked you if you wanted to join... but if it is a new relationship than I can understand him wanting some guy time. He might not be ready to bring you into his hangouts with his friends all of the time.

If you have been dating for awhile I would definitely tell him that you are upset by it and wanted to spend it with him. Try not to get over the top with it... tell him that you are disappointed... kind of wished that you could have spent the night with him... but you understand. Tell him you don't want him to do it again/next year and that he should bring you next time because it is important to you.

Totally normal that you are upset about it though. Years ago I had just started dating this guy and maybe 1-2 months in he went to a costume party with out me to a friend's birthday bash. I was really upset by it... let him know that I wanted to go but respected his feelings when he said that he wasn't ready for me to come. I ended up offering to drop him off and pick him up from the party. He invited me to the next party with his friends after that.

[Natattack21]

As the friend that acts like a mom - I say that it wasn't cool that he didn't even talk to you about how New Years Eve, and New Years day would be spent. But, I also think that its also your fault for not communicating across to him that you wanted to spend New Years Eve with him. I'm going to be honest with you, guys aren't ones to know what your thinking regardless of how much you think you got the point across. And, neither are girls for that matter. We human beings are not in any way mind readers.

Yes, you could be upset about it, but it was also your fault for not saying anything other than that you 'had no friends to spend New Years with', but also his fault for not asking.
Regardless, he has made his decision to go to the concert with his friends. Nothing can really be changed now.

[susil]

Its a new years eve. From my opinion it wouldve been better if you could spend it with someone you love.
But I guess lets imagine you want something so bad like badly but then u could only get it on that one specific day. But its a new years eve and your boyfriend wants u to be with him at that time. But u want that thing so bad.

You may think It would be better to sacrifise but would you want him to sacrifise too?
Maybe he just wants to have fun with his friends.
If you dont want to ruin his fun for your happiness then just let him go and have fun.
Maybe later he might also think my girlfriend gave me happiness even though i shoudve spent it with her

[fabiolaaa]

Have you spent New Year's Eve with him during the years before? If so, do not feel too bad about it because it is just a day to signify that a new calendar year has come. At least he will give you New Year's Day and if I were you I would tell him all of this.

[Asker]

no it would be our first new years together.

[fabiolaaa]

Oh and how long have you been with him as boyfriend and girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

He should have asked you if you want to go with him I think. Ask if he has an extra ticket so you can go too. Or at least tell him that next time you would like to go just to be together.

[OrangeBoy]

Say to him that you are open to try new music, and go with him, and chill : D

[Maypai]

Let him have this night for himself and his friends. You have to give each other their own time in a relationship. Never jeopardize your social life for your boyfriend/girlfriend because in the end all it does is make you friendless and relying on that person for conversation and things to do.

Spend new years with your family or perhaps catching up on a book or some old friends. You could also use that time to pamper yourself, dance to some music. Sing along to your favorite songs. Watch some movies. Do some crafts. Say goodbye to 2016 by recounting somethings that happened to you this year.

You need time to yourself, people tend to forget that when you enter into a relationship you're not merging the both of you into one person. You need to hold on to who YOU are.

[electrikrainb0w]

That sucks. You have every right to feel hurt. But I've learned in an ongoing 4 year relationship that, while being hurt is normal, don't make a big deal out of it. He's already made plans so let him have fun and try to just hang out with him before the concert. The next day, when things have settled down, calmly explain your feelings to him. Not to argue, just let him know that you thought for once you'd get to spend new years with someone. If he's a good boyfriend (and a keeper) he'll be understanding, apologetic, and more considerate in the future. If you avoid attacking him or getting too emotional, he should be receptive and empathetic. Works for me and opens the door for greater compromise from his end in the future!

[freebird7]

Does he know what spending new years together means to you? Cause if you never mentioned it he can't read your mind. Some people don't make as big a deal if new years as others. I could care less what I'm doing on new years and sometimes end up having to work, but other people love going all out. If you haven't communicated the importance of it to him, how is he supposed to know? If you have already done this, then I'd say that maybe you should talk it out so that you can understand each other better and not get hurt in the future by something such as this.

[Heythere2013]

My feelings would be hurt as well. He just assumed you didn't want to go and obviously doesn't care if you wanted to go or not. I feel like the when you are in a relationship, you should be doing things together on big holidays instead of planning your own things (unless the person is working, in school etc). At this point I would analyze whether you want this relationship or not. Yes he cannot read your mind, but people know how they should treat people they care about. If this continues, do you want to always be asking him to be thoughtful? Sorry, but nothing excuses that kind of behavior. If a person doesn't care about you or your feelings no amount of talking or asking will change anything. Don't push yourself on him to go to this concert. Can you find a party to maybe go to?

[Chanel1981]

My feelings would be hurt too! Unfortunately, I've learned, you can't expect them to read your mind so I would bring it in in a kind, no confrontational manner. Let him know you hope he has a nice time but in the future you would really like to spend these special occasions with him. Good luck!

[lady8787]

thats very selfish of him. it would hurt me too. I too am spending new years again without the man i care for. he hates the holidays. so i expected him to dissappear for this one as well. luckily i have my kids to spend it with. i was prepared for this. i am dating other men now, who needs a mr grinch anyways.

[BrokenPromises]

My girlfriend hates NYE so much, also she's working on New Years day. I told her I wanted to spend NYE with her and she is sleeping at mine, even though she as to set off to work at 7:30am and she hates the night. If my partner is capable of doing that for me then yours should also be capable of doing the same, if he doesn't compromise or see your point of view then I recommend getting rid of him. A new year is a special thing and spending it with a loved one is the best feeling ever.

[HitGirl_4680]

You have a right to feel sad disappointed etc nye is for you and your man to have a midnite kiss and celebrate with good company.

But he cannot change his plans now so no point ruining things by bringing it up.

If your now stuck with nothing to do then that's a different story and he may not know this.

Guys sometimes don't think too much and do silly things.

[vonasaurus]

it depends on how long you've been together.

if you've been together for more than a year and he knows that you've spent the past few new years' eves alone, then he's inconsiderate at best.

if you've been together less than a year, chances are he's just clueless. but, if you see any kind of a future with this guy, tell him how you feel- maybe, "i'll miss you, but be safe and have fun... if things are still going well this time next year, let's do x/y/z together".

[drama_queen_123]

tell him how you feel, if he's cared for you the same amount you do for him he should understand. if the concert he is going to has music online give them a try and see if you like them. See if he wouldn't mind you tagging along

[ihateheroicleishin]

spend the morning with him. compromise. it doesn't have to be at dark i think you're being a bit childish.

[Tetsuo]

Perhaps you should go with him just to be with together. Its not about the music its about being together. Even if you don't like the music its about the experience.

[Anonymous]

well its just a day. its insignificant. dont be a brat. but in my opinion say it. if he loves he'll change plans.

[Overthinker101]

If your dating there is no reason why he shouldn't have been like babe the boys are all going to a concert on New Years I really like this band/person I'm gonna go we can hang out after or you can come to if you like

[Anonymous]

Just tell him. Or ask to go with him

[Anonymous]

Normal, he's surely going to fuck some girls

[Nahidpie]

Yea it is