Should women let their men sleep around?

[Anonymous]

It's pretty much an established fact that men aren't monogamous. It is incredibly difficult for them to remain with one women, and they often do so because of morality than anything else. Women, on the other hand, are generally satisfied with just one man, and are happy being with him, fantasizing about him, etc. I know, women cheat as well. But men cheat much, much more and it's part of their biology.

There was also the fact that back then, many kings had harems. The women, from the little I know, probably didn't have much issue with this arrangement as long as the man took care of them. It just seems like in today's society, we kinda forced "monogamy" down everyone's throat as the way it should be, even though men are suffering in the end.

By letting your man cheat, you can control who he sees and when. You don't have to worry as much about him lying to you or going out of your way to prevent him from straying. It's because he's already technically doing it, and everything is out in the open. You'll know that he probably won't ever leave you for someone else (because let's face it, how many quality women are there who'd let their man get around? He'd be crazy to let you go). So what do you guys think?

[Napoli]

The thing is, if a man is going to sleep around, he's going to do it whether you let him or not... and he's not going to check whether you approve of them.
If a man is so into his girlfriend/ wife that he doesn't want to cheat, or he's simply not a guy who's into cheating, even if she was fine with it, he's not going to.

What happens when he out there with other girls and he meets that one, amazing girl who completely turns his head, and he leaves you for her? When that keeps happening, it's going to start getting to you.

One of the reasons faithful guys don't cheat is because they don't want to lose the girl they're with. Don't you want to be the girl a guy wants most one day? Not one that only sticks around for the time being because you give him an easy ride ( literally ) when really you're still just one of many girls he's fucking?

Guys value a girl who values herself.

The reason I say this is because I used to be terrified of commitment in relationships, I still am, and so I stick to friends with benefits relationships, & aswell as those benefits, I've always been good friends with those guys. We hang out and have fun in other ways and I liked that, it was the best of both worlds
Then I had my little girl and I started to think about all the things I want for her, and it made to take a good look at myself. While I was doing that, it dawned on me that for all the "fun" it's been, I'm not worth caring about to guys. Fun is all I'm good for and that isn't their fault, it's something in me that they see.

I told this to a completely platonic guy friend of mine and he reminded me that this is what I wanted, I didn't want an attachment with guy, and that is true, but the fact is that if one day I DID want that, I'm just not a girl that's worth it, and it's destroyed my self esteem.

So just be careful, that's all I'm saying.

[Asker]

of course cheaters will cheat whether you like it or not. I'm just saying that most men would be so incredibly grateful to have a girlfriend like you that he, essentially, becomes your bitch. He wants to please you and keep you around as best as he can because you've loosened the leash. If he does cheat around, he will do it on your terms (i. e. you decide who and when) because he appreciates you so much. In fact, he might be less likely to sleep around so much if you give the thumbs up. as someone else mentioned, men hate being controlled so much which is a huge reason why a lot of them cheat. It's "taboo"

[Anonymous]

" By letting your man cheat you can control who he sees and when"' I don't want control who he sees, or when. He's a grown man. It's not my place to. It shouldn't be a case of "letting" He can do what he likes, it's his own choice, all you should control is what you do.
I would never want to be with someone who'll bang anything
If your man doesn't value or respect you enough to want to be faithful to you, then no, you shouldn't have to put up with it. At least value yourself!
I don't want to share my bed with a walking STD or my man with every girl in town. How low must someone be on themselves to stick around for that!

My man is my man, and that's it.

[Asker]

How would you know he's being faithful or not? You could spend 20+ years in a marriage only to find out he's been cheating like crazy, or he up and leaves you for a younger woman. With this sorta open thing going on, he'd be insane to leave you. He gets to be with all the young women he wants, and still can stick around with you.

[Opinion Owner]

Not every guy cheats. Many get tempted, but not every guy cheats. I hope you realise that one day.
I've been with my partner for three and a half years, It's not native to know he doesn't cheat on me, or that he's never cheated on any girl. It's knowing him and our relationship and trusting him because of that. It's because I know him that I'd know if he was.

He's not the only guy I know who doesn't cheat, I know some who do, but it's not everyone.

You live your life how you like and that's fine. I was just answering your question.

[Asker]

3 years is different from 20+ years FYI. You never know what's going to happen in the future

[Opinion Owner]

No one does. Some guys cheat, some don't. You can't say you'll be right and neither can I
... but that wasn't your question, your question was should women let guys cheat and I answered.

Like I said, not everyone feels the same and that's fine. I'm not going round in circles talking about it.

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have an open relationship. I'm allowed to see other guys but I choose not to since it's too much effort for me. He doesn't like to sleep with too many girls at once because he doesn't want to worry about STDs. Neither of us steps outside of our relationship but the door is always open. I think it takes away the thrill and curiosity of cheating so we're actually more likely to be monogamous with each other.

[Gwynfrwolf]

I have already told my man that I have months where I get too depressed to want sex and I would rather he step out with my permission than behind my back. Always with the rule that he be safe about it.

[Asker]

Exactly my point! These other idealistic mofos don't realize what happens to couples in the long run. lol

[Gwynfrwolf]

Honestly, even though he has that permission I don't believe for one second that he'd act on it. I just know where I lack and I don't want him to suffer for it.

[Tdieseler]

I think its half and half. plus technically its not cheating if she/he knows about it.
Should women let their men sleep around? lol.. yea.
because in the experiments I've created and experienced, I've found out that even though its biological for men to want to "spread their seed" everywhere, I've found that the actual cause of cheating in these modern times is the theoretical leash/collar that women put on their men these days.
I tested it on a few couples and i tested it on myself. It turns out that many.. MANY (not all) women that dont mind their man being free or flirty with other women, tend to get cheated on less. Because its a mind thing. Men know how hard it was to get her attention, why ruin that. but when women put that stupid theoretical leash on them... the only option they have is to get away.
Should women let their men sleep around? verbally, yea. Because it destroys that leash.. now its HIS CHOICE to sleep around. And if he does, you know he isn't in it for you, and if he doesn't (which usually happens), now you know he is...
BAM!!! two birds... one fucking stone. so simple.

[Asker]

Exactly my point. The people down there are calling me bitter when I simply know the truth. Most marriages end in divorce for a reason. Women are being unreasonable in their demands and men aren't being open about what they're up to. So women just need to understand that men can separate feelings from sex and let him do what he wants. I doubt he'll leave.

[Tdieseler]

Damn right. Even during my player days, when i got with a girl that didn't seem to mind if i talked (conversation) with other girls, it was an attractive trait. It was the insecure, dont talk to another female ones, that irked my soul. I cheated on them for sure... im a douche :)
but i already knew my agenda so it didn't matter then, but i still noticed.
I also will notate that some people do like it as a fetish, those people are excluded.
Going back to your statement, many if not most women, dont give a crap about how guys think or feel, they only know what they want. and if he does anything outside of it, he's a jerk.
I dont get it. Guys are the most simplistic gender... and we want to be all those things women want but women demand these things.. while making it hard to accomplish lol.
its like the bully waving the hat over the short kid's head while saying "take your hat"... its ironic.

[Asker]

I mean it's not cheating if they said yes. And can't you say that about men too? Men and women are selfish. It's human nature. From my perspective, I've actually found women to be much more giving than men overall (and allowing him to cheat is EXTREMELY altruistic of her. He basically gets everything he wants and somewhat at her expense)

[Tdieseler]

I agree... AND disagree. Read my take on "Show me your man card" second to the last paragraph (or last one lol idk) it doesn't matter how much you give, if its not something the other person wants, its tantamount to giving nothing. Are women more "giving"... NO in my book. They just give what they want and it should be ok and supposedly what he wants.
Men are more giving, from the moment they meet Her, they give. they after things are established they tend to Want things, which in many cases i hear they are denied because its out of the girl's comfort zone.
Allowing him to "cheat" is not giving, its just like letting a dog run out of the house without a leash. You give em freedom, but you HOPE they will come back. better than the dog running and the leash ends.
Women are just more hopeful.. but contradict that with a leash. can't hope when there is a sure control (leash).
Those dogs come back.. so will he.

[Asker]

Nice job trolling

[Tdieseler]

Call it what you want. I always say that my methods are unorthodox (dont make sense) but they work. I put it out there... its your choice to listen or not. If you feel im a "troll"... best believe it. All i know is that they work. And i never troll, i just say the truth, which is something I've found most people try to avoid.
I didn't run experiments for damn near 9 years to come out with bull... and you can't slander me while hiding behind the anon filter.. its just hilarious...
you wanna call me a troll... do it as yourself. I dont hide because i back what i say because what i say is true. Tried and tested.
Sadly, I've tested almost everything and im only trying to share my knowledge. if you dont want it.. just say so. and you can go back to the life of confusion... im fine with either lol... not my fault people can't handle truth.

[Asker]

lol don't be dense. I agreed with what you said in the beginning. But saying that one gender is better than another is pretty lame. Both genders are full of shitheads whether you like it or not.

[Tdieseler]

Ok, you might have to remind me of the time i said one gender is better than the other so i can slap myself for it.
BOTH genders are full of shitheads.
thats why we are to be co-dependent.

[Anonymous]

Interest idea. You are probably right on the part that you wouldn't have to worry about him leaving you, as long as you gave him sex when he wanted, in edition to whatever he does, yeah you probably be in the clear. a lot of guys were designed to be sex animal, in a matter of speaking. However, if situation were reserved, and the guy let the girl sleep with whoever she want, I am pretty sure the guy would be terrified of the girl leaving him for another guy. I do not think it works the same way when its reserved. Ha ha ha.

[Asker]

I agree. But I'm sure the guy (in this situation) might eventually get worried of his SO getting resentful of him and ditching his ass/sleeping around cuz technically he's already doing that himself

[Unit1]

Someone is obviously bitter.

https://i.imgur.com/aMrENjw.gif

But yes, you are correct. We men are all cheaters. Around every corner when we believe we are not being followed, we are looking for other women to have sex with and cheat on our girlfriends and wives.
I think it's just what we are in nature: Cheating pigs.
We can't be monogamous. Because we are men :)

[Asker]

All women eventually get "bitter". I'm merely realistic, trying to protect myself from dealing with BS in the future.

[Unit1]

In this case I can help you - although I do believe, that NOT all women become bitter.

Avoid all men and turn every man down, who asks you out (but if you do so, do it polite!). They will cheat on you and you will be heartbroken. You can save yourself that if you keep protecting yourself from being potentially cheated on.
All we think about is having sex with as many women as possible.

Am I right, @ThisDudeHere?

[Asker]

See, THAT is someone who is bitter.
I understand, realistically, that humans are social creatures and we have a desire to propagate our genes. The best situation is the "harem" that I mentioned up there because women get his resources and men get a variety of women. All are happy.

[Unit1]

Hahaha
No.
I do not want a relationship, that involves trading money for sex. I can't see any happiness in there for me at least. I will just keep looking for a good lady, that doesn't care about my finances.

I am interested in what @redeyemindtricks has to say about your question xD

[Asker]

Granted you're 22. Let's see what happens when your mid-life crisis hits lol

[Unit1]

No idea what you are talking about 😂

[ThisDudeHere]

I will have to agree with Unit. If you distrust men so much, don't date them. How and where you will find some 'harem' where everyone sleeps with everyone and takes care of everyone's kids, but good luck with that. I heard they are rare.

[redeyemindtricks]

Ahh yeah, *THIS*.

Ok, OP dude posting as a woman.
If you rlly want to play this evolutionary psych game -- please do bear in mind that *women* are, as it were, "hardwired" not to be monogamous, either. In fact, in the case of women it's a lot MORE insidious -- our primitive modes of attraction are actually designed expressly for the purpose of extracting resources and security from *one* man, while fucking however many OTHER men on the side.

... yep

I'm too lazy to write it all up again, but, read these threads (girl's mho on both)

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1925574-women-are-biologically-programmed-to-want-a-man-who-is-protective-a

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1926143-women-are-biologically-programmed-to-want-to-marry-the-good-guys

Read 'em and weep.

__

Also, monogamy was

[redeyemindtricks]

put in place for the benefit of MEN, not women.

In non-monogamous societies, the vast majority of men don't get ANY pussy. Most men live dreary, hardscrabble lives of hard labor and... celibacy, while the rich and powerful few control all the women.
Institutionalized monogamy is a system that makes sure that the majority of MEN have something to live -- and fight -- for, in the form of a wife and children. (Unsurprisingly, soon after monogamy came on the historical scene, the societies that practiced it *easily* wiped out neighboring societies that didn't... because, well, duh, their armies actually had a reason to give a shit.)

And yeah, OP dude posting as a pink anon... don't even think for a *minute* that you'd be one of the few powerful ones actually getting laid in a system like that. Ahah no.

Gtfo with that half-baked shit

https://i.imgur.com/9ThfjKP.gif

[Unit1]

@redeyemindtricks Reading those responses gave me some feels

static.carthrottle.com/.../...ho-55208af45d158.png

[ThisDudeHere]

@redeyemindtricks dayum... I have never considered that sociological standpoint

[redeyemindtricks]

@ThisDudeHere @Unit1 There's a reason why literally every society in recorded history -- and every religion, too -- has concentrated primarily on shaming/restricting/punishing WOMEN's sexuality.

Obviously, if boys were the ones primarily "wired" to sleep around and cause various types of sociosexual mayhem, then... well, the focus would be on keeping THEM in line, now, wouldn't it.

Think about it.

[ThisDudeHere]

@redeyemindtricks Your point being that satisfying the party that can cause the most damage if left unsatisfied is the strategically most viable option?

And what kind of changes to society would you suggest, if any?

[redeyemindtricks]

@ThisDudeHere "Your point being that satisfying the party that can cause the most damage if left unsatisfied is the strategically most viable option?"
^^ To oversimplify a bit, yeah.

__

There's not a chance in sweet hell that I could answer that last question in any sort of succinct way here (or that I'd have the time).

[ThisDudeHere]

@redeyemindtricks Ah, all righty then.

[Unit1]

@redeyemindtricks Basically... I can see what you mean. But sexuality shaming is not what I like at all regardless of gender.
I'm a horny beast myself but I'm also a virgin. Doesn't mean I'd cheat on my girlfriend (she doesn't exist)... that is if she can keep up with my sky high libido and we both are open to porn. That keeps me in check in terms of monogamy.
Since I have read all of that what you posted, I came to one conclusion:
Now I will distrust women forever. The secrets have been told.

/jk
I love women and I won't stop loving them.

[redeyemindtricks]

I mean, dude, you can pout about it and be afraid of relationships forever -- or you can take *advantage* of some of these tendencies to make yr own committed relationships even hotter.
... like my man and I do, as described here (girl's mho)
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2113727-sexual-fantasies

The grass is greener wherever you water it.

[Unit1]

@redeyemindtricks What is that supposed to mean?
"The grass is greener wherever you water it."

I would get myself a sex obsessed girl but my current circumstances hinder me.

[ThisDudeHere]

If you have this little faith in the opposite gender then you really do deserve one such guy who sleeps around. I for one will only have room to love one girl and one girl only.

[Asker]

you're only 21 though. we will see what happens when you have your mid life crisis and want a new young hot thaang. lol

[Unit1]

Damn, this is an outstanding response dude! I like it!

[ThisDudeHere]

You're at most only 3 years older than me and yet you claim you have all the answers already? oooohkay.

[Asker]

no I don't; I'm just not stupid. Most people are sheep and think that "lurrvveee" sustains.

[ThisDudeHere]

The things one often insists are real are what he's going to get most often. So if you think this way, all the power to you. I will politely disagree.

[JCT666]

This is just one reason why I hate this progressive society, cheating and cuckoldry has become the new norm for modern relationships and marriage. Also, what you're saying can be exactly said the same about women, expect that society is more accepting towards women who are unfaithful towards their partners.

[Asker]

"New norm"? Are you saying people haven't cheated in the past? Lol. Men have always cheated on their women ever since day 1 of monogamy. Only now, women have options to not want to be tied into such a relationship since they make their own money.

[JCT666]

Yes, it's the new norm for couples. Because adultery was less common and a lot more frowned upon in the old days. Now it has been encouraged and normalised by hipsters and popular culture. And women have cheated since day 1 as well, it's not a gender specific thing. I myself have been cheated on twice, so yeah.

[Asker]

How do you know adultery was less common in the old days? Prostitutes were extremely popular back then, yknow. One of the marriage advice given to women in the "old" days was to look the other way if she did find out her man was cheating.

[udolipixie]

Should women let their men sleep around?
If they want to. I know in that case I'd be sleeping around too and way way way less invested and committed in the relationship.

[Asker]

See, so would I... but in a way I think it's a good thing. By becoming the cool gal who lets him do whatever he wants, you essentially own him. He will become your bitch, and do whatever he can to make you happy and keep you around just because no other girl would give him so much freedom. and if you're less invested in the relationship, it would only make him desire you more to the point he might not actually even cheat

[udolipixie]

>By becoming the cool gal who lets him do whatever he wants, you essentially own him.

That is unlikely to occur since by sleeping around as well you would more likely lose value in his eyes. It's not difficult for a guy to get a relationship where he and his partner can sleep around. Nor is it difficult for a guy a relationship where he can sleep around and his partner can't but she invests less. It would be difficult for a guy to get a relationship where he can sleep around, his partner can't, but she invests as much or more than him. In that case the guy isn't being the bitch but the gal is - she can't sleep around, she gets cheated on, and she invests more/as much as him... all for a guy who is what 'nice' to her (something she can get from many other guys who would be faithful to her as well).

[AnonRom]

I don't know I personally think that men can definitely stay monogamous and that women likely cheat at least as much as men do... That being said if you don't have a problem with it I see no reason not to let him if he wants to. Most women just feel bad and think that if he wants other women than they are less desirable but in my opinion that shows that they think their only value comes from sex which isn't true

[thetundrawolf]

Men who are incapable of truly loving sleep around, ever trying to search for that thing that they will never find. Monogamy might be difficult for some, but it is the truest form of love.

[beautiful_1]

I agree because I'm so naturally monogamous when I truly love someone.

[singlebee]

Nope maybe women should have sex with their husband's in a way that those guys don't want to cheat? Or sleep around?

Most women stop having sex with their husbands after a while in marriage and cry when their husband cheat on them

[Asker]

Many women don't have a high libido though. Also men want a variety of women more than just sex with the same chick over and over again

[singlebee]

Well not all men want variety... They just want one women who they can fuck like a SL**...

And sex once everyday or atlest alternate isn't high libido

[Carefuloutthere]

Seriously, why do you keep telling men what men want, and why do you keep thinking you can speak for all women? There are many women with high sex drives and not all men want to fuck everything in sight.
Nothing you say comes from your own knowledge or experience. You're coming from what you think is true from what you've read and applied it to both genders as a set truth.

You keep telling people they don't know what they're talking about when they give you their personal opinion from their own experience.
Without meaning to be rude, you don't know half as much as you think you do. You can't keep telling people they're wrong when you don't have the understanding.

[zorro8888]

digitalspyuk.cdnds.net/.../...7-kanyewestlaugh.gif

[Asker]

what's wrong?

[Chloe_Paige]

No if a guy doesn't think that I'm worth enough to not cheat then he's not worth my time

[Asker]

lol good luck being alone then

[JustinTheGreat]

Just because you can't satisfy your boyfriends and they all cheat on you doesn't make it a fact that all men are cheaters
"Part of their biology" gtfo

[ButtHurt]

No, they shouldn't. You're jaded. There are lots of men who are faithful.

[Asker]

Hah says someone who probably doesn't know if her boyfriend is cheating on her right now. It's insane how many men cheat/would love to.

[ButtHurt]

I'm talking to him rn tho.. so. And there's many that do, many that don't.

[Asker]

More like most do, some probably don't if you're lucky

[Browneye57]

Gee toots... I think you have it backwards. The ladies are dumping the guys - filing 70 of divorces, hypergamy, bored to tears with one guy.
Where' ya been hiding out? LOL

[Asker]

yeah and guys are the ones who continue to cheat behind their back. so what's your point?
this way, everybody's happy.

[Browneye57]

If you have your guy fucking around you won't have a relationship left. Promise.

If things are this messed up at our state of the game you need to think about starting over. These relationships don't last - they have to be built on trust, passion, and exclusivity. If you don't have those it will never work or last.

[Asker]

Yeah but then why do most men cheat? Doesn't seem very loving and trusting, if that's the case...

[Browneye57]

Not sure where you're getting your stats, but no, "most men" don't cheat. They aren't any greater cheaters than women. The majority of men have honor and commitment. You just have to find the right one.
Seems to me the cheaters are about 30-40% of both genders. Show me where I'm wrong.
Plus, where they do cheat, I'll show you a sham relationship as well, where one or the other or both are not living up to their obligation as a committed partner.

[Asker]

lol don't be dense. I agreed with what you said in the beginning. But saying that one gender is better than another is pretty lame. Both genders are full of shitheads whether you like it or not.

[Asker]

whoops wrong person i replied to sorry. I actually read somewhere that majority of men DO cheat at some point or have the need to. only uber religious types might not

[Glittergirl4]

None of that is true, we were all made to be monogamous. But then I'm christian so...

[Anonymous]

Why just the guys? If a woman isn't getting what she needs in her relationship, shouldn't she be allowed to get it elsewhere?
Why can't this be allowed for both partners?

[Asker]

because women generally don't need to sleep around. we are hypergamous not polygamous. we want to get the best man we possibly can. men are the ones wanting variety.

sometimes it can work, but in reality men are territorial more than women (which is why you see many women forgiving cheating partners. not so much the other way around), so it hurts them a lot to see their woman with another man. the other way around doesn't impact the relationship as the man is able to have sex without feelings for the other women. he's less likely to leave her

[Anonymous]

Then why make it a formal relationship keeps is friends with benefit... then both can fool around...

[Asker]

I agree. Marriage is stupid (unless you have kids)

[ASEXY]

If you want to increase your risks of getting an STD then sure.

[Asker]

that's why you have regular checkups duh

[ASEXY]

so? that doesn't prevent hiv.

[Asker]

true. on the other hand, he might go ahead and cheat anyways (which most men do). at least here, you'd have more control over the happenings.

[AperolSpritz]

What is this is this thing you have about control? If he's sleeping with every woman out there, what are you controlling exactly? You don't know who he's seeing or how many. He could be fucking your sister/ cousin/ mother/ best friend/ his best friends... it's out of your hands.

What you won't be able to control is the amount of child support he pays the countless women he knocks up. You'll be too busy our helping him pay it.

[AperolSpritz]

*out*

[Asker]

@AperolSpritz You can tell him you want to approve of the women he sleeps with/how many. Guarantee he'll be so grateful for you allowing him to sleep around in the first place that he'll listen to you. On the other hand, you not allowing this up front may force him to go about his business in secret. In that case, you REALLY won't know who or how many...

[AperolSpritz]

If he's desperate to fuck around, do you really think he's going to stick to your list of approval? If you're so sure he'd fuck around in secret without one, how do you know he's not going to add to it in his own time? You don't. That's a fact

[Asker]

@AperolSpritz Men are always desperate to fuck around, period. He will be because he knows that no other woman will say yes to him like you have. He will be grateful enough to treat you like a queen.

[AperolSpritz]

You sound so immature and inexperienced, judging by your comments to other people, yet you're so convinced you're right about everything that it'd be pointless trying to talk to about about this in an adult way.
He'd treat you like a doormat, but that's fine if that's what you want, but he'd be laughing at you.
Like I have? You have no way of knowing what I do or don't do. You have nowhere to make that comment from.

To be honest, I think you're trolling. No one's this naive, surely.

[ChronicThinker]

Nope. If you want to act like the town bicycle I can find a man that ain't a hoe. I don't date hoes.

[ChronicThinker]

Also, I don't wanna date a man who wants to be "my bitch." That's some weak-ass shit.

[AtomicCheesing]

Do as you please but that is not my style. My SO and I strictly prefer monogamy.

[esotericstory]

Wow I'm slightly insulted by this. I am monogamous, which means in reality that I will dedicate myself to 1 woman. Once I date a girl, all other options must be closed! Because I love my future wife.

[beautiful_1]

No I'm not going to let my man have sex with other women. How can a man respect you if you allow him to bang other women.