My depressed "boyfriend" blocked me on messenger and won't talk to me at all, what should I do?

[Anonymous]

Hey. So here is the story: My loved one and I met on tinder on October and we fell in love with each other. He told me that he loved me, we were planning on seeing each other soon (because we live in different cities), he talked about marriage and living together, having kids, etc. But all of a sudden he started ignoring me every now and then, and I got really upset about this. Eventually he told me that he suffers from depression, and that he still loves me, even though he is absent at times. The problem is this last time he ignored me for a month, only occasionally liking pictures. And this last week especially was really tough on me, because I started feeling unloved, I thought that maybe he just wanted me as a back up, that's why he wouldn't break up. I got mad and deleted him from my facebook. I instantly regret it, but he won't accept my friend request again. So I got very psycho, and sent him lots of texts, begging for him to talk to me, I sent videos crying, I did a bunch of stupid things. I really wished he would give me closure, if he is not interested anymore. But he won't talk to me at all. And now he has blocked me on messenger. I want to be his friend again, even if we don't have anything romantic going on. I'm so sad. But I think that the more I insist the more he pulls away.. What should I do?

[miiszmel]

Hun, move on. This guy clearly doesn't care about you. He disappeared for a month? Doesn't seem like a real relationship to me. A guy that truly likes/loves a girl would not just disappear like that and definitely would not block her. He would not ignore her texts or calls either. There's just so many signs that this guy does not have sincere feelings for you. You will find someone out there that would give you more attention, care for you and love you.

[IKidUNot]

Leave it be he doesn't seem interested anymore.

[Asker]

But I've read about depression, and I think that is the reason why he doesn't talk to me. We talked about it before.

[IKidUNot]

I'm sorry but this just sounds like a plain avoidance case and the fact that he ignored all your videos and calls shows that he doesn't care about your feelings. Anyway I suggest you tell him to give you closure and if he doesn't respond to that too then I guess it's time for you to move on.

[Anonymous]

How many times have you actually met in real life?

[Asker]

Never hehe.. but he told me all kinds of things, that he wanted to get married, to live together, to have kids. Who wouldn't fall for that? And when I complained about him not giving me attention he explained that he was depressed and that it had nothing to do with me.. but then he completely disappeared for a month and then I lost it this weekend and overtexted him 😔

[Asker]

How could he forget everything he told me that he was feeling just because I had a weak moment of being super emotional?

[Asker]

It's not like we met last week, we've been talking for 4 months!!

[Opinion Owner]

I'm just gonna be real with you here. It's because you two do not have an actual relationship with each other. Everything you've expressed to each other is a fantasy constructed over your phone. Of course someone can say they love you, want to marry you, etc etc but words are cheap and easy. Actions are what ultimately matter in a real relationship. Neither of you actually know each other because you've never met. That's not to say that things couldn't work out, it's that his actions betray his lies. He says he loves you wants to marry you but ignores you for a month? Makes excuses? He doesn't love you, he doesn't know you and you don't know him. It's a complete fantasy. You should be more careful with your emotions and how invested to get in someone over the phone. You played yourself.

[Asker]

yeah, you're absolutely right.. thank you :)