What secrets do you keep from your SO? Why?

[asheslee]

Let's face it... Most people keep some secrets, no matter how small. What do you choose to keep secret from your SO? Why do you keep it a secret?

[Anonymous]

This is a true story... and this is something that only my best friend knows and nobody else.

All of my life, I had trouble meeting women and getting a girlfriend. Never had one in my life. I also never had sex until last year (when I was 25), because I wanted to have sex with a girl I was interested in.

However, I have a high sex drive, and it started to get to me. So, I started to go out to clubs/bars/strip clubs and would meet women and fuck them. I had sex 6 times last year, always wore a condom and always got STD testing.

In November, a few days after my 26 birthday, I took another STD test, and I came back positive for genital herpes. I was so mad. I have friends who get sexed constantly and they don't get stds. I have friends who don't wear condoms and they don't get stds. I have sex a few times, wear a condom and I get herpes.

Ever since getting herpes, I haven't been on medications and have been clearing it naturally. I've also been getting oxygen and ultraviolet pumped Into my blood every 2 weeks, as the doctor said that it has the potential to kill the virus. Every time I do this treatment, my herpes has become less and less and I barely notice it anymore.

Adding insult to injury, I met a girl in January, and now we are dating. Every time we go back to her place, she wants to have sex or do sexual things with me. However, I tell her we should a bit and not have sex yet because we should build our relationship first. She doesn't know I have herpes, and I'm making her wait because I don't want to infect her.

My hope is that my treatment will kill off my herpes in the next few months so this way I can have sex with her without infecting her.

[asheslee]

I am really glad you are doing the right thing to ensure you don't put her at risk.

[YourLucifer]

(genie from Aladdin voice) tell her the truth !!

[Anonymous]

When I was in service, I was a good shot with a 30.06 and briefly served as a sniper in a place we are not officially stationed. I have never lost a minute of sleep. They got less than they deserved and I made the world a better place.
www.dreams.metroeve.com/.../...-dreams-meaning.jpg

She has no clue.

[asheslee]

Thank you for your service.

[MissGeorgia]

He doesn't know that I was raped by my ex partner. It was four years ago and I don't feel like it affects my day to day life anymore. I don't think about it very often.

It's part of my past and it's not something he needs to know. I always felt like any guy who knew that would see me differently, or be turned off me sexually because of it. It'd be an unnecessary elephant in the room.

Like you say, everyone has secrets of some level, and they rarely need to be talked about. Some things belong in the past, especially when you're not the person you were then.

[asheslee]

I am very sorry that happened to you. I am glad you are doing well and have a happy life now.

[MissGeorgia]

Thank you, lovely xx

[asheslee]

You are welcome. I can relate. I did not tell my husband about being assaulted until this year. We have been married for 10 years.

[MissGeorgia]

Oh my goodness, that was brave of you. It's quite something that you felt safe enough to tell him. I can imagine for you guys, being married, he was glad you did.

I just don't want to bring it up again, so I know what it must have taken for you to do that. That's really courageous

All the best to you

[asheslee]

Thank you. Best to you, too!

[vishna]

He's very overbearing at times, especially if other men are involved. He too often thinks men will try to be with me, even 1 woman can't be every man's cup of tea. I know it's based off his love and attraction to me (among other things...) And so, though I know I have no intentions of being with this person, I will hide or omit a conversation I had in the day with a man because he will jump to conclusions.
I also made a small cake and didn't save any from him >: D

[asheslee]

in my opinion, jealousy does not come from a place of love, but I hope you end up with a fulfilling relationship.

[vishna]

Definitely agree, I know it's from insecurity and mistrust. He tries to work on it, and we've come a longggg way since the beginning of the relationship (b/c I'm not going to have some guy boss me around or try to tell me who and who not to talk to)

[Neverrrmore]

I keep it a secret that I skip ahead of him in our tv show and then act like I haven't seen it.🙊

I keep it a secret that I hide dark chocolate in my purse🍫because him and my kids will demolish it.

I keep it a secret that sometimes I don't wash his clothes because I get tired of him leaving them in a pile in our bathroom 😂

[asheslee]

This made me giggle and I can totally relate! Thanks for making me smile! 😉

[Neverrrmore]

Ha glad I could help you smile. ☺

[asheslee]

Mone would be The Joy That Is NAPTIME!!!

[Neverrrmore]

Yes! Haha

[Anonymous]

Well I don't have a SO, but I've never told the girl I'm currently seeing that I've never been in a relationship or had a real girlfriend. I'm not a virgin and I've dated plenty but have not found the right one. I'm not just gonna be in a relationship for the sake of being in one.

I mean I don't know if it's a secret but she hasn't asked me about past relationships nor have I felt the need to tell her. Besides I don't like hearing about exes nor would I talk about past flings for that matter.

[Silver158]

This guy gets it.

[Opinion Owner]

Gets what? What part are you referring to?

[Silver158]

The whole not being in a relationship for the sake of it and waiting for the right person to come along

[Opinion Owner]

@Silver158 yeah it's just a waste of both people's time. I've settled before because I wasn't having luck with any other women I was into and it was a waste of time. I didn't feel any happier.

As frustrating as my dating life has been, it's still better to be single than with someone you don't care about.

Most of the time the ones I liked ended up flaking or ghosting. The ones I cared about most used me as a rebound.

[IHateBeingaMan]

you have dated plenty but never had a real girlfriend, what do you specifically mean by that?

[Opinion Owner]

@IHateBeingaMan Like I've had tons of dates, hook ups, one night stands, and short flings but nothing ever came of them. Like I haven't had anyone I'd call a girlfriend or been in a committed relationship. Better than nothing but it gets tiring. Like I'm not trying to rush into one or get in one with just anybody but having been a late bloomer, I've learned that quality is way important than quantity.

[IHateBeingaMan]

i wonder if i'm alone in feeling this way but were there ever times in your life you hated or resented on how guys always have to be the initiators?

[Opinion Owner]

@IHateBeingaMan yeah I hate it but the interesting thing is while I was in college, most of the women I got initiated first. They were only hookups though

[IHateBeingaMan]

wow, like they approached you first, asked for your number or suggested hang-outs first? whats your age now?

[Opinion Owner]

@IHateBeingaMan Some of them we talked then eventually made out then had sex. One girl hasn't her friend ask me if I'd make out with her then later that night she just gave me head because she couldn't have sex as she was on her period.

I'm 27 now.

[IHateBeingaMan]

oh ok, born 1990 then? and has there ever been a problem for you as well? you would get lots of first dates with girls but no second dates, as in, the girl would lose interest after the first date

[Opinion Owner]

@IHateBeingaMan yep. I was born in 1990. You?

And yeah I'd get tons of first dates and then they'd flake or ghost after the 1st despite seeming interested. Then sometimes I'd get to 2-5 tops then never hear from them. Sometimes I'd end it but the majority was them ghosting after the first date.

The worst part was not knowing where I went wrong. How do I know what not to do if i ever know?

I'm lucky the girl I'm seeing now is consistent and doesn't play any games. We already had our 4th date in 2 weeks and talk every day.

[IHateBeingaMan]

interesting, how did you meet her? i was born 1989, you think this girl will end up becoming your girlfriend?

[Opinion Owner]

@IHateBeingaMan who knows? We only met 2 weeks ago so it's still early. We'll see though

[Opinion Owner]

How are you only 26 if you're born in 1989?

[IHateBeingaMan]

registration error, but specifically how did you meet her the first time? was it online dating, social circle, mutual friends, etc?

[Opinion Owner]

@IHateBeingaMan online dating, met off okcupid

[IHateBeingaMan]

oh interesting, nice to know, ya besides guys still being expected to initiate, even in online dating or dating apps on phones (Tinder, Coffee Meets Bagel), girls will almost never send out the first message

[Opinion Owner]

Oh yeah totally. Online dating can be tough to strike a conversation when a girl has a blank or just generic profile. I mean I don't expect a woman to be into all the same things as me but it's kinda hard to find someone to relate to when they have nothing on their profile.

[IHateBeingaMan]

you think you and this current girl will end up becoming exclusive? she'll end up becoming your girlfriend?

[Opinion Owner]

@IHateBeingaMan no idea. It's still early on

[IHateBeingaMan]

ya, because i've heard of couples beecoming exclusive after just like 3 to 5 dates

[IHateBeingaMan]

i've been on 3 dates with this one girl i met from Plentyoffish, most recently had one this past Sunday

[Opinion Owner]

@IHateBeingaMan cool. Any talk of what your intentions are or moving forward?

[IHateBeingaMan]

she let me kiss her after the date, but we haven't discussed becoming exclusive yet

[MarkRet]

I opened an account on Literotica and published a story on it. I really just wanted to see if I could do it. The story actually got a pretty good score. I didn't tell my wife because I wasn't sure if she would think that's pretty cool, or pretty weird. Also, she gets really paranoid about viruses and internet hackers, so she's pretty leery about using our laptop to go into websites she isn't sure about.

[HaveQuestions]

That's awesome. Have you read Dream Drive on there? Was an incredibly good story. I actually emailed the author to see when part 2 will be, lol. I'm glad you got good feedback, writing is such a form of putting yourself out there. Maybe you'll tell her one day, you might be surprised.

[MarkRet]

@HaveQuestions - I'll check out Dream Drive. The story I did was called Older Male Virgin (author is MackRet). The only feedback I got was its star rating, how many viewed it, and several people made it their favorite. I shut off the email feedback because I didn't want any feedback coming to my regular email account. My wife might see that.

[HaveQuestions]

Fair enough. I'm glad you got to see positive feedback. I'll check it out. Thanks! Dream Drive is 10 chapters, it gets better and better. By Over_Red. Happy reading & writing!

[AperolSpritz]

The fact that I'm in love with someone else.
Not in a cheating, "wish I was with that person instead" way. I am happy - we've been together five years, we have two girls, I love him too...
... but there is a "one that got away" and I don't think I could love anyone, romantically, the way I loved him. I've never known anyone like him and I don't think I will again. It's a regret that I can't get rid of, no matter what else I have.

[SteppingOnRoses]

:/ im sorry to hear that. for you and for him...

[AperolSpritz]

@SteppingOnRoses Thanks. It's ok - some things just aren't meant to be... and I couldn't imagine my life any other way, so it's all worked out.

[asheslee]

I knew a man whose wife passed away from a terminal illness in her late 20's. They had a daughter together. He went on to remarry and have another child, but he would always say that he could never love another person the same way he loved his first wife. It always made me sad, but he and his second wife were very happy together.

[SteppingOnRoses]

i see

[Bluemax]

I had a secret that I was meaning to tell her. It was dark and disquieting...

It's that...

I... just saved a bunch of money by switching to Geico.

[Nyx_85]

*GROAN*

lol

[Anonymous]

I went to a festival once and I was supposed to go with my boyfriend but he canceled last minute, so I went with a friend. The festival was in a foreign country and my relationship with my boyfriend wasn't going great. We had problems before I left and ignored most of my messages during the festival. So there was this guy I met there and he was our neighbor tent. We had a lot in common and one time we were talking while sitting in a tent and he suddenly kissed me (a peck on the mouth) and admitted having feeling for me. I pushed him away, because I'm not a cheater, but I was very confused because I also had some feelings for him. I never acted on them and never gave him the wrong impressions (he knew I had a boyfriend) so I didn't think I cheated, but if I would tell my boyfriend about it he would still be devastated. He is already insecure and a little jealous and our relationship was already at a downpoint and it's too late to mention it now.

[fuuuck]

its hard sometimes to decide what the right thing to do is.. i would have reacted the same but knowing how i'd feel if he didn't tell me about that happening to him i'd end up telling him eventually.. it would probably lead to an argument and then of course "what else have u lied about" but my conscience would b at peace lol

[Opinion Owner]

@fuuuck I honestly think it would give a lot of unnecessary insecurity and it could put my relationship at serious risk. I admit he's quite insecure and I know he wouldn't really be able to handle it.
I'm not extremely bothered by not telling him. It was quite an eye opener for me because I didn't even think about acting on what he did. Even though my relationship was at a downpoint I chose to not cheat and put faith in my relationship.
I don't think I will ever tell him this, but except for this I've never had any secrets or lied to him.

[RegularTK421]

My ex wife used to be a bit of a diva. Her clothes took up every closet in the house, and she kept buying more. Now I had asked her to go through her clothes, and get rid of the old or torn ones she didn't want anymore, especially before she buys any more new clothes. She ignored it, so I took matters into my own hands, and I secretly threw out shit she didn't wear, or what was obviously damaged and no good. She only couldn't find something once, and I told her it was probably around the house somewhere but I knew it was something I threw away. I know this sounds like an extreme measure, but it was getting out of hand.

[RegularTK421]

To this day she doesn't know though lmao.

[Flotri66]

Lmao. I should do this as well.

[Sara413]

At some point you should tell her just to prove the point... like, see? I threw all this shit out and you don't even notice!

Ask her to try the backwards hanger trick - hang all your clothes with a backward hanger and only flip them frontward when you wear an item. After 1 year chuck everything that's still backward.

[RegularTK421]

@Sara413 I've tried just about everything under the sun before resulting to covert ninja actions lmao. She told me I was "cruel" and "heartless" for asking her to throw away her clothes. They are her clothes, and she likes them is what she would always say, while we were slowly becoming hoarders. She had boxes and boxes of shoes and clothes.

[Sara413]

Haha ok fair.. Sometimes you just gotta do what ya gotta do!

[ambertaylor]

Me and my partner have been together for 5 years and have never discussed our sexual pasts with other people because there's just no need and no good can come of it. I think that's all I keep from him though and maybe some embarassing teenage moments but I think it's important to be open with most things.

[DaydreamingAngel]

I keep from my SO the fact that I talk to my best friend from time to time (who is a male) even though my SO told me he didn't really want me to. He is a bit on the jealous side and I just I still talk to my friend because I don't want to lose a friendship simply because my SO is a bit on the insecure side at times.

[danceislife080]

In my experience (as the insecure one) I learned I hated it more that my partner was keeping certain friendships a secret from me because he assumed I would get upset. But I think the lying and secrets upset me more than him hanging out with a girl I felt uneasy about. All I remember wanting from him was to be honest with me, and to give me a chance to be okay with out -- when I found out he was keeping this a secret I really couldn't trust him anymore.

[DaydreamingAngel]

I get that. Just the problem is my SO told me he would prefer I didn't talk to any guys at all, saying he didn't trust any enough not to try and take me from him. I even talked to him about my best friend before and he said something to the effect that he included him in those he preferred I not talk to. I just couldn't let a 7 year friendship end simply due to him not liking me talking to guys.

I don't feel too bad about it because it took him a while to admit he texted a number of his exes, which kind of blew. Here I was, just a friend who happened to be a guy, while my SO was talking to a lot of his exes.

[Sara413]

The only secret I can think of that I haven't shared with him is that I used to have unrequited feelings for my best guy friend. That's way in the past tho and I see him as a brother at this point so I don't think it matters and I don't think it would be a big deal if he knew anyways, but it's one of those things where I think if I just randomly brought it up that wold give the impression that I still have those feelings. If he ever asked I'd be honest about it.

[Cloudy25]

If I don't like his family he'll probably never know, I also don't talk about other people's secrets and I still stick by "girls don't poop" lol other than that, not really much, of course I don't share every thought and emotion, but they are not secrets either.
Also, I don't think it's a great move to share thoughts about his size compared to previous boyfriends. That could get messy.

[Sara413]

Haha eventually when you move in with a guy you're gonna have to get over the pooping thing

[TripleAce]

I watch her sleep creepily at night and pretend to sleep when she wakes up

Is that creepy though? Lol. Like if you caught your boyfriend doing that night after night but never harmed you what would you think?

[Girly1710]

If he's looking at me with an evil smile I'd be super uncomfortable, but if he's just looking at me peacefully I'd assume he thinks I'm cute when I sleep and I wouldn't be scared by that.

[asheslee]

I would just ask him why. Whether I would be creeped out would depend on his response.

[TripleAce]

@Girly1710
@ asheslee

lol lets say he pulls up a chair in the dark, has insomnia (a little) and just stares at you while you sleep sitting on a chair. Sometimes comes back in bed then back on the chair

You often times wake up and catch him. But he's not harmful

[asheslee]

Again, I would ask him why he stares at me when I am sleeping. My reaction would depend on his response.

[TripleAce]

No reason lol just stares as if you would stare at a caged lizard lol. I guess to observe their movement

[asheslee]

I don't know how I would react to that... do you do any other weird things?

[TripleAce]

Hahhahah nono i was just kidding. I dont actually do that but thought it would be kinda creepy but yet harmless. But creepy. So was wondering how you'd perceive that

[Anonymous]

That I was a stripper for 8 years. I tricked 5x. I was picked in elementary school and high school and that when I became a born again Christian I used to go evangelize on the streets.

Now I'm a fitness manager at a gym in NYC. I would never recommend anyone being a stripper for more than 2 years. I'm still a Christian but I don't force it on anyone. If someone is open to it I just talk about it lightly. As far as my experience with school, it would really take a guy who's willing to drop his pride for me to open up about that because I'm ashamed that I ever allowed that to happen to me. I am now a proud fighter and take no shit and that's how I would like to be viewed.

[Kreneman]

One time, my female attractive friend kiss me on the lips by surprise (It was very quick and off guard) and I had a girlfriend at the time. I never told my girlfriend because my friend did not know I was taking and It was by surprise meaning to me a mistake.

[levi81]

None. I don't think keeping secrets from your SO is a good idea, if found out it will only cause more problems.

[fuuuck]

exactly.. i believe if u have to hide anything from the person u love than they aren't the person for u

[Bananaman177]

I probably wouldn't want to tell her she's the first and only woman on Earth to ever give me a chance.

[Prof_Don]

This website is the personal safe space for this special snowflake known as Prof_Don... his girlfriend doesn't know about this site. :-P

[kaylaS91]

Nope, he knows everything about me- from my thoughts, no matter how dirty/inappropriate/twisted they may get far too often. To what I like/don't like or would like to try in the bedroom. To more serious things like my experiences with having been sexually assaulted more than once, a relatively eventful medical history within the past decade or so, etc..

[rgb008]

I've been keeping a big secret from him…
I've been selling my sperm on the black market…. I don't know how he would take this information.

[Nyx_85]

LMAO

[DukeKolslaw]

secrets I would keep old that I love non intelligent life more than anyone else. oh or that I watch a lot of porno but meh those are minor compared to a few other secrets. but I wouldn't hide much if we got into a relationship is be an open book I'm not good at hiding feelings and the like. if she asked me a question I might just defer to be answered at another time.

[TacosRAwesome]

I dont tell him if someone hits on me because I think its pointless information and would find it pathetic if he told me if a girl hits on him. Also I'm supposed to no eat candy big sometimes I do coz true love babe ;)