Why is my boyfriend NOT pressuring me for sex?

[Anonymous]

I am 25 year old woman. I am a virgin and I have been seeing a 31 year old guy for 4 months now. He is amazing. I am a virgin and he just revealed to me he has slept with 20 women, I was floored. I am not judging but obviously he seems like a sexual guy but he is not pressuring me to have sex which I find odd. He treats me with respect and he doesn't act like something is lacking in our relationship. He says that he can control himself and that he respects my boundaries.

I am so puzzled, all this coming from a 31 year old grown man who has had 20 sexual partners and has been in relationships were sex was present. Why is he chill with me? I keep waiting for other ball drop. He spends all day at work and on the weekends he's with me. I know he isn't getting his bread buttered elsewhere.

[Ram0n83]

"I keep waiting for other ball drop. He spends all day at work and on the weekends he's with me."

Then what are you worried about? It sounds like he's actually faithful.

"I know he isn't getting his bread buttered elsewhere."

Then you need to decide what you want or don't want.

If he was single while getting some... well, he wasn't cheating on you or another girl. Really, what harm did he do?

If you think that this is too many previous relations for you to be comfortable with, then you need to be honest with him and end any possibility of a romantic future between the two of you.

I get that it sucks, but he can't change his past. He has been honest with you. Now you have to decide if you want to go forward with it, or not, as the case may be.

Best wishes.

[Tdieseler]

How do you KNOW... lol... do you follow him everywhere? do you work right next to him?
25 and a virgin... and this guy is an experienced 31... oh.. he can smell the inexperience off of you... and probably doesn't want a part of it.
hey, worse case comes to the worst... you make a damn move... lol... im sorry im dying laughing here... even that might not help... I've seen virgins try to "make a move"... its like watching a new born deer trying to walk... lol.
just... I don't know... wait i guess...
31 and only 20? wow... i guess i AM a hoe...

[lostgirl_searching]

Nothing odd about it, it's a good thing with what he is doing. He probably just want to wait until you are 100% ready.
I'm a virgin as well and my boyfriend isn't so we did oral for the first time ( it was my idea ) and he still thinks he pressured me into doing it.
Some guys are really willing to wait.

[mrschelc]

That clearly means that he's had his fun and now it's time to be serious. Take it as a good thing, sex isn't huge to him anymore but it is to you and he knows that. Which is why he's respecting your willpower!

[BelleMmichelle]

From the sounds of it OP, he's waiting for you to be OK with it. I'd say go for it, make his day!

[serious]

Ok, he is not putting any pressure on you so that is a problem for you? Come on!. What do you want? you want him to pressurize you or something?

I mean its a really good thing that he is not putting any pressure on you to do anything, he respects you.

[Deadfish]

Its actually very nice to here
He just changed his habits to stay with u

Maybe he is waiting for the right time. I m thinking he loves you more than just sex

If you both are serious talk with him about this!!

[melodybluesy]

he probably has you on a pedestal. you're too clean and doesn't want to dirty you so to speak. careful u could end up in a permanent sexless marriage. it happens! you need to talk to him about it and will probably require counseling.

[MrAssHat]

Ok well 20? thats not exactly a lot but anyhow he might actually be a decent guy who is just waiting for u to say hey fuck me

[Anonymous]

holy shit a guy actually respects your boundaries and you're complaining?

[Asker]

I am not complaining lol. I just find it odd.

[Opinion Owner]

Men just can't win can they?

[Asker]

I'm not faulting him but you're a dude right would you seriously be sooo chill with a no sex relationship? We do other stuff but not actual sex. He pays for everything, all I bring to the relationship is my presence.. well, humour etc. I really take this guy seriously as a marriage prospective partner but I am so puzzled why he has remained consistent?

[Opinion Owner]

Why dont you.. you know talk to him about it. Communicate with him

[FelixNagle]

first I love the euphemism, bread and butter, and second, I know exactly how he feels. he doesn't want you to think that that's all he wants from you. he is looking for something deeper.

[FaithfulGuardian]

If he pressured you for sex, you gonna make a question asking why is you boyfriend pressuring you for sex. i can't already tell you can never be happy already.

[Toad-1]

Yup there's no pleasing girls like her

[Wezthepezt]

maybe because he's waiting for you to let him know your ready

[ProjectBaby1K]

Because he's getting it somewhere else while stringing you along? DUHH

[realperson02]

maybe because you gave him signals that you won't have sex with him easily.

[StickStickity13]

After having sex for awhile, the novelty wears off some. It's easier to control

[curiousbway]

what a fine love story! do you want to have sex with him? if yes, just do it.. if no, just keep going with the flow

[Tanairy328]

he sounds like a keeper!

[TheMostCharming]

Damn women can't just be happy these days 😩😩

[ShayanMortazavi1998]

Just pressure him for sex then

[Anonymous]

He has enough sex already !!

[Herbie345]

find someone and get laid

[Bassmate]

It seems he isn't sexually actracted to you

[Anonymous]

damn hun, lay the fuck off of him

[Anonymous]

he sounds nice guy