Relationships

Please be considerate.. I don't know how to socialize anymore?

I have a boyfriend. I'm 21 he's 23. We've been together for 2 years but known each other for 3 because I finally said yes after a year he kept on trying to get me to be his girlfriend. I went through a lot in this relationship so I decided that we can't be each other's "best friend" even though (not bragging or complaining) I cook, clean for him, massage him, buy him things, take or ask him to go out and do his favorite things but on rare occasion he'll go so usually he would bail out last minute since the guys are going out.. I did these things 'cause I thought guys liked this? I'm an introvert.. never really had friends growing up except my best guy friend in high school. I'm not that typical girl who only makes friends with guys because girls are drama. I tried making friends with girls but they end up talking too much shit or being fake so I always ended up sitting by myself.. I'm not ugly or anything.. I think.. I let my boyfriend go out and do his own thing because I just don't want to be that kind of controlling girlfriend.. in the beginning of the relationship (about 8 months) he went EVERY NIGHT. I'm not exaggerating. I could barely even ask how his day was and he's already dressed and gone til 3 or 4 am. He then stopped going out and coincidentally I decided to work two jobs to keep busy. I really do love him. I'm just lonely sometimes even though I've always been kinda alone. I'm a hot mess. Please be nice to me 😭
Please be considerate.. I don't know how to socialize anymore?
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