How can I socialize?

[Anonymous]

I spend my whole day in a cycle of university, home, work and sports, I can't socialize, I want new people to enter my life but I don't know where to go, in my free time I can only sit in parks and relax, how and where do you socialize? Even if I attend events, I can't be very assertive about socializing because everyone hangs out with their friends, "they already have friends, why would they want to get to know me?" I think.

[SueShe]

You are the only one that can help that situation.

In order to have friends, you must be proactive and find friends. They will not just pop up in your life without you being involved in the relation. Best is to join a club, take a hobby where you can meet people with similar interests.

If you are good at one specific occupation, then see if you can find a club or place where others meet that share that passion. The rest will just fall automatically into place. Sharing the same interests with a person is always a good start to get to know that person better because you have common grounds.

But you have to work on yourself first. That would include shyness and social anxiety if those are part of your problem.

You can train your approach, your attitude and expression in front of a mirror for example. Think of what message you want to bring across and rehearse it until you are satisfied. The next step is the most difficult one and that is the one where you have to put in practice what you learned and rehearsed.

But without you wanting and acting upon it, nothing will ever happen. You have to get out of your comfort zone for it to happen. The most important is not to be afraid to fail. If you are rejected, get back onto your feet and try again.

[Nikki1989]

It is very simple. Step out of your comfort zone.

[Iron_Man]

Go to the college library and start talking to girls when they start taking a break from their studies

[Asker]

The problem is to start talking

[Iron_Man]

if you can never talk, that’s a big problem practice on the Internet then in practice in person

[Asker]

On the Internet, 50 guys write to a girl. I don't think an inexperienced person like me will be successful among them and I don't know what to write on the internet anyway

[Iron_Man]

you’re too negative the way you’re going you won’t ask anybody out until you’re the age of like 45. If you don’t wanna listen, you’ll find out the hard way how long 20 years is

[Avicenna]

Sounds like you'll meet people through school and sports anyway

[Asker]

No, it's not happening, man, I've been going for a long time, nothing's happening.

[Avicenna]

Well, you already have a lot on your plate- do you have time to socialize? I've never heard of not socializing with people from school, though.

[thomastown]

Join a few groups and try them out. When you find one you like, drop out of the others.