I told my boyfriend how many guys I slept with and now he's angry. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

So my boyfriend and I were casually talking and our sex lives came up. I asked him how many girls he slept with and he told me 7. Not too bad to me. Then he asked me how many guys I've slept with. I told him how many and now he's not talking to me. I have slept with over 20 guys in my life span starting at age 18.

I'm not a slut or anything, but I do like sex. But now he's not talking to me because he's not sure he wants to be with me. He thinks I'm a whore. I think it's not fair. Guys sleep with a lot of girls all the time and we're expected to accept it but if we have sex with a lot of guys, we're whores. I don't think I'm a whore so how do I convince him that I'm not? I don't have any STDs and never cheated on him before.

Updates

+1 y

Also, I just turned 25 a few days ago.

[hellionthesagereborn]

Guys do not sleep with a lot of girls, some guys sleep with a lot of girls. Life isn't fair so that's not really a good rational. What you sleeping around means is that he isn't special, see he has to ask you out date you buy you things spend all this time with you and then he gets to have sex. Fine except now he knows you gave away the very thing you made him pay for, for free to some one else. That devalues him. Then you add in the fact that you sleeping around means that you are more likely to cheat on him (which is statistically proven, the greater the number of partners the higher the probability of divorce, cheating, and unhappinesss in long term relationships) makes that a bad situation. The fact is in a relationship a man stands to lose much more then a woman does and you have shown that you are a risky investment as you put it yourself, you like sex which in and of itself isn't a bad thing the problem is you liked sex enough to go from guy to guy to get it (20 guys in a 7 year span is a lot by the way). That shows you are impulsive and that you care more about sex then you do about relationship or commitment as you, again, prioritized sex over these things. That makes men nervous. Just as you are unwilling to give away sex to just anybody (women raise their standards for casual sex) men do not wish to have a relationship with just anybody (men raise their standards for relationships). You have shown that you are a risk and that bothers him.(also the fact that women who have a lot of sex tend to enjoy it less doesn't help either). A man doesn't want a woman who was easy to get with, who every one had that means he is nothing special because in the grand scheme of things the product you offer in a relationship is sex and reproduction both of which you have given away carelessly and now he is going to potentially pay the price for your indiscretion. Its not fair that he has standards but its not fair that you demand that he not care, its not fair that you slept around and he now has to worry about these thigns, its not fair that you did this with no concern for the potential consequences and now that they are revealing themselves you expect some one else to just shut up and accept it even though you would not have done the same in similar circumstances. That's life. This is why you don't sleep around, their are consequences for your actions you are a risk to him and now he has to make a cost/benefits analysis.

[matheus_mb]

He's the problem, not you. When people are single they can sleep with as many people as they want. If he slept with many girls too, why bother if your number is bigger. You weren't commited to anyone back then, were you?

[Asker]

The guys I slept with I dated.

[matheus_mb]

Dating ain't relationship, nothing wrong with what you did.

[sophieegm]

2 or 3 guys a year actually isn't that much if you think about it that way. If it's casual sex, and that is something you're okay with, then it doesn't really mean anything in my opinion. I would be more concerned if it was all with people you considered "serious" and ran through them all, but even then it would be your business. I wouldn't call you a whore, but for people who have a strong belief in the sacredness of sex, that would be a lot in your short adulthood. If he can't handle it, then you both need to move on.

[Cloudy25]

Why would you even want to be with someone who considers you a whore? If I got that reaction from a guy he would be out of my life before he could even blink. I find it a bit ridiculous that it's that easy for people to get triggered and leave their SO unless a bigger issue has been going on between the two of you. Relationships seem so weak these days. I get preferences and that he might prefer a girl with less sexual partners but to literally stop talking with you over something so petty is beyond me.

[BiPolyAlan]

I couldn't agree more! Most people get jealous over such stupid stuff.

[garrrrry]

i mean, if you have been with that many guys... might have trouble finding a nice guy willing to carry that baggage, might aswell keep banging scumbags at that point!

[BiPolyAlan]

Oh yeah. How horrible it is to be with a woman who is good at sex 🙄

[Cloudy25]

@garrrrry I'm sorry, but that is stupid logic to me.

[garrrrry]

guys who wants to treat girls with respect will say forget it once he findout she doesn't respect herself.

[garrrrry]

understand that?

[BiPolyAlan]

Oh definitely. Which is why I prefer to be with a woman who respects herself enough to ignore societal pressure and do what she wants :)

[Cloudy25]

@garrrrry yeah but I feel like once you're in a relationship you know if she respects herself already, you don't need a number to tell you that, just sounds incredibly stupid and immature to me.

[garrrrry]

its more biological than societal, women are supposed to be selective, and to and pick men will take care of them and reproduce well. so it shows she's not inline with her own biology

[garrrrry]

there is literally no way to know if someone respects them self than from their actions

[Cloudy25]

@garrrrry we are not animals, we don't have to blame everything on biology, even if it's related to biology doesn't mean we can't overcome that. I don't think it's fair to always judge people by their past and that one aspect alone won't determine whether she has selfrespect or not.

[garrrrry]

no it won't but its a pretty good indicator

[BiPolyAlan]

Why does having sex reduce your self respect?

[hellionthesagereborn]

Thats not petty. In fact multiple studies have shown multiple times that the more partners a woman has the more likely she is to cheat divorce be unhappy with sex, be unhappy in long term relationships etc. That means that he is taking a huge risk with her as men invest way more in a relationship then women do and that could all be for nothing. She has the right to do as she wishes, but he has the right to be disgusted by the behavior. We don't get to walk through life and be judged on what we want, we get judged on our actions.

[garrrrry]

well said

[BiPolyAlan]

@hellionthesagereborn None of those things are legitimate concerns if you have a good, strong, happy relationship. And if you don't have that, why continue to be with that person?

@garrrrry I'll ask again: why does having sex reduce your self respect?

[hellionthesagereborn]

@BiPolyAlan Yes, actually they do because you thinking its a good happy relationship doesn't alter the neurological pathways that where created that encourage short term gratification. Just because it hasn't hit right now doesn't mean its not going to happen that's like jumping off a sky scraper and then assuming that since you haven't hit the ground yet everything must be fine. It isn't. We have ample data and the studies have been repeated multiple times and all have come to the same conclusions. It does destroy relationships it does breed unhappiness and it does destabilize the relationship and it does devalue the man who is expected to give everything he has to a woman who gave her self away to pretty much anybody who was pretty enough. Not to mention that shows impulsiveness as that's a risky behavior which not only reflects on potential future sexual behavior (cheating) but also on other apsects of life as well.

[garrrrry]

many sexual partners is a strong indication of low self respect.

[BiPolyAlan]

Ahh, I see the problem. You see sex as something that is given and taken. I can't fix that, I hope you find yourself a nice virgin girl and she disappoints you for the rest of your life.

[garrrrry]

already happened bud

[FakeName123]

Promiscuous behaviour is proven time and time again to hint to bonding issues, mental instability, impulsiveness, low agreeableness and mental health issues.

There is a good reason why people look down on it. For example - with each additional sexual partner a persons chance to have a successful relationship DRASTICALLY decreases. We aren't talking about 1-2% decrease, but about a drastic decrease.

Furthermore sex is an important part of a relationship. If you don't want sex in it, you can as well just look for companionship - but not for a romantic relationship. So if people are on two different views about sex (seeing it as a very intimate, bonding act vs seeing it as purely physical pleasure) you will naturally have a lot of tension and it can easily be a dealbreaker.

[Cloudy25]

@FakeName123 you guys rely way too much on statistics than your own thoughts and experiences. Sounds so robotic to base your dating life that way. Go live a little. If you meet a great girl, that you're crazy about, dumping her bc of her number of sexual partners is doing yourself a disservice.
Also, lots of people are capable of having both casual and intimate sex, people that have one nighters and friends with benefits relationships can also do real relationships. One doesn't exclude the other.

[FakeName123]

The statistics are just backing up my personal experience. I have plenty of (male and female) slutty friends. Good bros, but no relationship material by any means. And it's always the same petty issues why they break up.

[Cloudy25]

@FakeName123 okay, and I have plenty of (male and female) slutty friends who happen to be really committed and geat SO's. Js..
Nothing wrong in making observations, but literally basing your romantic life on that and stereotyping that way is not doing yourself any favors. And come on, if you have a great SO and you suddenly find out that they have a higher number than you expected that shouldn't be the reason for you to break up with them. That IS petty to me.

[FakeName123]

I think that is perfectly reasonable. I wouldn't date anyone who has majorily different views on lifes in general. Doesn't matter if it relates to sex or other aspects. And people who have casual sex do have a drastically different view on sex than I have. Simple as that.

[Cloudy25]

@FakeName123 sure, good luck👌🏼

[FakeName123]

I shall have it. Just make sure to update me when those committed relationships of your friends reach 3 years duration and if they are still committed then.

[Cloudy25]

@FakeName123 of course! One of them just celebrated their 4th year together a few months ago but I'll be sure to give you updates on the rest of them xD

[FakeName123]

"one"

And assuming she is your age range she surely was all out promiscuous at the age of 14-15, right?

[Cloudy25]

@FakeName123 she started having sex around 16 and got her current boyfriend at.. 19 i think, since she's 23 now. I said I have many promiscuous friends who make great SO's, and they do. Just because I only mentioned one who's been with her boyfriend for over 3 years, doesn't mean they are not good SO's lol

[hellionthesagereborn]

@BiPolyAlan what does that even mean, "given and taken"? Sex creates certain changes in the brains neurological pathways, if you are constantly seeking the thrill of a new partner your brain reinforces that short term gratification so that when you stop it becomes harder to ignore, i. e. it becomes a habit that is hard to break hence statistically they are more likely to cheat and divorce. There is a reason why women with good relationships with their fathers and have high self esteem are less likely to be promiscuous then women who don't have these things, its because they are healthy and they don't form the habits and thus are more likely to maintain healthier relationships. In fact some psycologist are considering labeling promiscuity as self harm with all the damage it does.

[hellionthesagereborn]

The reason why we rely on statistics is because they are not biased. They don't say what we want them to say they say what is. Women are very good at convincing themselves that everything is fine, that's why you get women who are in their 40s who now realize that their behavior has cost them a chance at happiness and family, because they whent by what people said that made them feel good instead of what the data shows. Sure it would be nice to be able to just have sex when ever I want, to just go to a bar/club and get easy unattached sex. But their are consequences for this, no different then drugs and alcohol, sure it would be great to be able to drink and smoke and eat what ever I want without consequences but that's not how life works so I don't. That's the problem women keep telling themselves their is no problem when their is and men who wish to exploit women's tendency of hearing only what they want to hear encourage it as it benefits them.

[BiPolyAlan]

Alright, I'm done being nice. I don't have the time or patience to fact check your statistics, but don't you think it's possible that a large part of the problems that can arise are from societal and religious guilt? Western society makes sex such a terrible taboo, especially for women. Not everyone holds to the same values as mainstream society, because it simply doesn't make sense.

Take away societal pressures, and there is no reason that sex, unattached or not, needs to make someone feel bad or create bad habits. There's no reason "the thrill of a new partner" needs to be a negative thing, and there's no reason to believe that high self esteem needs to mean fewer sexual partners.

[BiPolyAlan]

Besides all that, you are twisting statistics and psychology to fit your opinion - you're shaming people for doing something that makes them happy, because you've bought into the illusion that sex has to be an emotionally bonding thing. It doesn't. Even IF the brain were to naturally associate those things, we're more than fucking animals, and can recognize and rationalize our own emotions.

Just fucking stop. If a person has low self esteem, or intimacy issues, or some other problem, then that is the problem they need to address. Promiscuity isn't the problem, correlation DOES NOT EQUAL causation.

[hellionthesagereborn]

@BiPolyAlan So you don't want to address the statistics? Not a good start. As for societal and religious guilt, no. That makes no sense because at some point your going to have to address why the hell these things became taboo to begin with and "just because" or "religion is bad" are not going to cut it. Their is a reason why it was looked down upon in every society and in every culture, their is a reason why when a society stops frowning on it it becomes destabilized and becomes highly prone to collapse (do you really think all of this hasn't happened before?). So no it is not those things it because actions do in fact have consequences. Do you think obesity and diabetes is social as well or will you acknowledge that it is in fact an over indulgence in food? Over indulgence in alcohol leads to problems, over indulgence in relaxation leads to problems (physical activity is important to health), over indulgence in sex leads to problems. Its not a very hard concept to grasp.

[hellionthesagereborn]

@BiPolyAlan when you consider that historically promiscuity would have been lethal in many cases. You would have increased risk of stds many of which would cause death or sterility (syphallis migrates to the brain and causes encephalitis which causes many things like dementia and eventually death. If you get venerial diseases enough for women it can migrate into the uterous and cause enough damage to cause not only sterility but also extreme pain from the inflamation even to the point where sex is painful). Then you have the issue of pregnancy which gradually limits a womans mobility thus her ability to acquire food and to protect herself while also increasing her consumption of resources. That followed by child birth which is painful and puts her in a vulnerable position followed by the years of nursing which not only consumes resources for herself but also the baby while it is also so helpless that it cannot be left unattended making resource gathering incredibly difficult.

[hellionthesagereborn]

@BiPolyAlan All of these things would have detered promiscuity in a culture because if a woman did not have some one their with her to take care of her she would be dead and lets be honest in a time where starvation was ever present not many would be willing to support her for nothing as it would put them and their own children at risk. So in fact their is a strong biological component to refrain from such behavior. its a short term strategy which is always far less sucessful then a long term one.

As for the rest of your claim, no and no. First and foremost I have not bought into anything but you have, that is very clear and obvious because again, claiming its social and I should be allowed to act any way I want without consequence both from soceity and nature is not a particularly logical argument. As I said it is not social, its biological. Social pressures do add to it because again if its detrimental to the individual in the ways I described that hurts the society. That as well a

[hellionthesagereborn]

@BiPolyAlan Being happy is, well one irrelevent, and two is not actually true as most studies show that promiscuous people are less happy then those who are not and that we can see that when a woman has a good relationship with her father and is happy she is less likely to be promiscuous comparative to a woman who is depressed and has a less stong family strucure its pretty clear that happiness does not play apart in promiscuity (especially since highly promiscuis women are actually far more likely to be depressed suffer from substance abuse and even find sex to be unsatisfying showing that its pathological in nature). But again whether it makes some one happy or not is irrelevent to whether it has a negative impact or not. I like fried and sugary foods. They make me happy. That doesn't change the fact that they will inevitablly cause serious health problems for me if I consume them indescriminatly. What we want and what is is not the same thing.

[hellionthesagereborn]

@BiPolyAlan As for your correlations comment, well no correlation does not mean causation but it a damn good indicator. If their was an electrical fire and then the house bursts into flames we would not presume that it was a meteor or a flame thrower wielding maniac that burned down the house now would we? That woudl be absurd, just as we wouldn't presume some died from cancer after being shot in the head. Is it possible? Well sure but so unlikely that its not worth ever actually considering it as a real possibility.

[hellionthesagereborn]

@BiPolyAlan This data has been done by multiple people and multiple groups some trying to show the negative affects of promiscuity and others trying to prove their is no ill effects, but all parties involved found the same exact thing. This is not coincedence. You not liking what your hearing isn't going to change what is. You clearly want to believe that you can have as much sex as possible and it won't have any impact but thats not reality. I'm sorry that promiscuis sex is that important to you that you cannot handle hearing that it has a negative impact on an individual. Personally I would say that shows that you are using it to hide from some personal issues (after all if I told you smoking is detrimental to your health or alcohol consumption can cause problems as well you wouldn't bat an eye), as I am just telling you it has a negative impact on a persons well being (and societies), I am not suggesting it be made illegal nor am I telling you you have to be with just one person.

[hellionthesagereborn]

@BiPolyAlan I am merely pointing out what the data says and why people respond the way they do and why while you may believe its wrong to shame promiscuity (again I would say the data gives a good reason why people do) I am showing why you should not shame some one for not wanting to be with a promiscuous person. You can do with this information what you will whether you let it change you and realize that its unhealthy to sleep around and maybe even find happiness or continue what your doing, either way I don't care all I care about is making the truth known.

[FakeName123]

@BiPolyAlan

"I don't have the time or patience to fact check your statistics, but don't you think it's possible that a large part of the problems that can arise are from societal and religious guilt?"

Independent of your argument with Helion - that is not quite true. Here is a list of links I collected some time ago. And this is without the statistic of decreasing success of relationship with every additional sexual partner:

https://pastebin.com/KJtaQCU6

[Anonymous]

Do you really want to be with soemone who things of things like that? I couldn't be with soemone who let my past colour our current relationship together. You are not a whore and did nothing wrong. Cut him loose and find someone less judgmental and more secure with themself.

[LordBaeron]

your past counts. if you just give yourself away to anyone, i'm not gonna invest more in you than they did, why would i? it's like buying a product in the store while they are just giving it away on the corner for free.

[Opinion Owner]

@LordBaeron Okay so you your liken the girl that your into to a product... awesome reason to not date you... that says far more about you then her in my opinion.

So if your willing to have sex with most of the girls willing to have sex with you and girls who you think of as products why would anyone want to invest any time money or effort into you?

[garrrrry]

are you actually stupid? you just used his example to try and make some pathetic comeback. and his point went woooosh way over your head. try again with some substance.

[Opinion Owner]

@garrrrry his point didn't go over my head his point was that her sexual value is her worth. A girl shouldn't ahev to make a guy wait and at different stages in life one wants different things Did you want the same things at 11 that you want a 21? Probably not and if sex was super easy to get and you wanted it would you not have it because of someone you may meet at some poitn and until then just sit on your hands and hope real hard? But all of this will obviously go over your head because your mind is already made up and I am guessing that is also how you access someones value as well. Too me it's a sign of not respecting women and an inferioity complex... too each their own.

I've only ever been with my husband but I didn't tell him that right away and let him assume what he wanted because that is't how I wanted to be judged.. a women is more then her sexuality btu yeah.. it's obviously we won't get anywhere here which is fine. Have a good one gentlemen I'm headed off to bed and thi

[garrrrry]

lol no i dont respect all women, many tend to be quite slow at understanding things beyond their own emotions

[LordBaeron]

(1/2) i will try again: my example means your sex with me should be, at least to a degree, SPECIAL. "i like this guy" not "hey, dick, let's jump on it!" how am i different and special to you then, than all the other dicks? that, and from evolution, a girl who is used up is not sexy.

sex is easy for a woman to get, because men are the hunters. you go out any night and scream on the street "who wants to bang me?" and they will line up even if you are fat or old.

your thinking totally contradicts your "i've only been with my husband" story, i don't believe it. how stupid could he be to not notice you were a virgin the first time? and as you said, if you like sex wouldn't you just do it instead of sitting on your hands? why would you think like that if you sat on your hands until you met your husband? do you hate sex? you make no sense.

"if you don't agree with me you don't respect women" typical trick to make sure nobody calls you out on your inconsistent nonsense.

[LordBaeron]

(2/2) a woman is more than her sexuality, but that tells me a lot about her character. it still is and always will be a part of you.

nobody cares how you WANT to be judged, you WILL be judged by your past too.

i hope your husband knows the truth.

[hellionthesagereborn]

So basically your actions don't matter and you shouldn't be judged on them? What should you be judged on then exactly? If your actions do not matter then nothing matters. What you are arguing for is that you should be allowed to do what you want how you want when you want and every one should pretend like thats okay. Why doesn't he get that privilege exactly? Why can't he decide that this is not what he wants? Why does only she get to have that right, the right to do as she wants with her life but he doesn't? Their is a reason men shy away from promiscuous women, they are far more likely to divorce cheat and be generally unhappy in long term relationships and even are more likely to be unsatisfied with sex (the man has to compete not with just another man but in this case 20 other men, unrealistically remembered etc.). Their is a reason why its taboo.

[Opinion Owner]

@hellionthesagereborn Well to each their own Dude. If that's how you want to judge people and thats the type of crap you think is important then go for it judge away... your not hurting anyone else in my opinion but to each their own as long as your happy I suppose.

[hellionthesagereborn]

Its not what I think is important, its what is important. Multiple studies have found that promiscuity increases the odds of divorce and cheating. So that is an actual problem and it will impact him in the future. As for how I judge people, well I judge people on their actions, is their some other moral way to judge some one? I mean if a man beat all of his girlfriends before you would you just pretend its a thing of the past? Of course not because we know that behaviors do not come and go for no reason, if they did it before then they will more then likely do it again. That's why the past does matter especially when they have done absolutely nothing to change. If you say it doesn't matter then you are ignoring not only the anecdotal evidence you experience literally every day (your friend doesn't suddenly change how they act on a daily basis) but are ignoring neural biology as we create neural pathways that get reinforced and reinforce behavior the more we do something. Its science.

[Opinion Owner]

@hellionthesagereborn Okay.. I'm intrigued show me your science and how it was proved...

[hellionthesagereborn]

If I do so will you accept it? Will you read it and determine that what I said was true and admit that their is a case to be made? Because I have given this data more times then I can count and every time the person just blows it off claims that personal feelings trump facts and statistics don't matter. So I am willing to get the data (its a lot) but are you going to actually read it and if it shows what I have said it shows will you accept it? Or are you going to point to an opinion piece that tries to justify the behavior you are defending? If your truly going to accept the facts then I will give you the information otherwise I don't want to waste my time trying to refind all the data.

[Opinion Owner]

@hellionthesagereborn Will I just read and automatically agree... well, no. Stats aren't reliable unless they show polling numbers (with a very large pool of participents from different cultures, areas and ways of life) to make sure results aren't skewed. For something on this scale, multiple experiments would have needed to be conducted (1 step of scientific method is to repeat, repeat, repeat - to make sure the same results keep occurring then to publish). Any other unbias proof is of course appreciated to make sure the results are accurate. Of course I'd believe, given that it can be fact checked of course and backed up by multiple scientists. I'm not trying to prove you wrong Dude... this just isn't what I have seen in day to day life. I have multiple friends who got around in their youth and most are happily married at this point and many have been for years (both men and women) and none of them long for those days at all-lol. But if it can be proved

[Opinion Owner]

from a scientific standpoint with reasons for why this occurs of course I'd believe it.

[Opinion Owner]

It doesn't need to be reasons so much as explanations and other experiments that have been tested to figure out why. I you could just point me in a direction I can do my own research. I tried to look it up but as you said only found opinion pieces... no scientific studies.

[hellionthesagereborn]

Very well, most say that and then do the opposite but I will try to find all the data that I had before (I lost most of my sites when I wiped my computer so I won't have as many as I wish but hopefully it will be a start)
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/.../nihms499028.pdf
s3.amazonaws.com/.../Bookofcharts.pdf
socialpathology.blogspot.com/.../...uest-post.html
socialpathology.blogspot.com/.../...uity-data.html
onlinelibrary.wiley.com/.../full
www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/series/sr_23/sr23_022.pdf
socialpathology.blogspot.com/.../...omiscuity.html
www.scribd.com/.../Premarital-Sex-and-the-Risk-of-Divorce
socialpathology.blogspot.com/.../...orce-risk.html
(The link in the post is dead but you might be able to find it elsewhere)
socialpathology.blogspot.com/search?q=promiscuity
I know I linked to the same guy a few times but he is good about siting his sources and providing the links.

[LordBaeron]

20+ and you are surprised he's disappointed? yes, it makes you look cheap. i personally find even 7-8 too many to have a relationship. and the double standard comes from evolutionary psychology: when we were cavemen, women had to carefully select who they had sex with because it could result in pregnancy, meaning she would be defenseless for a long time with the baby, she had to find someone who would take care and protect her. and guys had to bang many women to ensure their bloodline continues, not all stayed alive. that is still in our brains today, you can't cheat biology.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

Sometimes guys can worry that, since you've been with tons of other guys, you already have someone in your head who you'll continue to see as your sex god no matter how much you and him go at it. I find that happens a lot with girls who slept around a lot before finding the one they want to be with. They start to think of their man as lesser and secretly wishes they can sleep with someone they had before on the side while still having the guy they're with be there for support and commitment.

This is a very legitimate concern and I don't think it's fair to a lot of guys how women seem to shame them for it.

Regardless of the specifics of how he feels, it still doesn't justify him calling you a whore and you should definitely consider it a red flag.

[garrrrry]

i agree, seems like women instinctivly keep potential partners around incase whatevers currently happening doesn't work out, a backup.

when women talk about exs to their boyfriend, he gets worried because of the same instincts.

and girls really dont like that kind of jealousy because its towards an ex, someone who she at least cared for at some point.

but when she's being hit on by a stranger or someones she's not attracted to thats when its okey for him to show his jealousy. ... stupid

[steini1904]

Ha, I doubt he's been with 7, possibly 2-3

Obviously he has oneitis. He thinks he's special because he got you, and now he learned he's just a mere <5⅝

he'll get over it or you just move on. No big deal, but don't tell anyone your real count anymore. Social norm is:

Guys multiply by 3, girls divide by 3

Reason is, partner counts between male and female are vastly different, guys want to feel competetive, girls like they commit only to the best guys. Nobody gets his feefees hurt

[Paulie3000]

He's being wicked immature, how old is he because normal adults probably should t act like that. I'd be taken aback by that amount tbh but it would by no means a deal breaker bc you're loyal and experienced, and experienced in a good way. He outta man up and embrace it or st least stop acting like he's 10

[hellionthesagereborn]

Loyal? She was with 3 guys a year, that sounds like the opposite of loyal that sounds like she is more then happy to drop one guy for another. The fact is multiple studies show that the more partners a woman has the more likely she is to cheat, divorce, be unhappy with sex, and be unhappy in long term relationships all of which are very detrimental to the man who is roped into a long term relationship with such a woman. The statistics for divorce are 1% with one partners and 16% for two. for those who scored in the upper half of the socialy sexually unrestricted scale (promiscuous or having a casual approach to sex) they had a 50% probability of divorce and/or cheating. That's a big deal. Any one who buys in to this whole idea that we have taboos against this and are biologically wired to avoid women who sleep around for no reason what so ever clearly hasn't thought it through.

[TheTruthHurtsImSorry]

20+ men since you were 18 equates to at least 2 men per year, doesn't include how frequently you did it. At minimum you did it once with each dude.

Mathematically speaking you gave it up a lot, you can't convince him you aren't. You run through men like college semesters.

[LordBaeron]

20+ in 7 years is 3/year not 2.. 3 or more

[TheTruthHurtsImSorry]

@LordBaeron You must have failed mathematics.
Start at 18. Her profile says she's at most 29. That's 11 years. Meaning that at a minimum of 20+ men divided across approximately 11 years (it would be a decimal and you can't have a fraction of a man) it rounds up to a MINIMUM of 2 men a year.

[LordBaeron]

learn to read. the update to her question clearly says she just turned 25.

[TheTruthHurtsImSorry]

@LordBaeron Damn, you really didn't pass you math class. I posted that BEFORE her update.

You are so slow lmao 🤣🤣😂✌

[LordBaeron]

you tried to correct me AFTER the update, nice try twisting it your way.

[TheTruthHurtsImSorry]

@LordBaeron No, you're the one who tried to correct me after the update. How about YOU check your post times and stop peering to be this slow.

Just admit you screwed up and move on. Either way I'm done with you. 😥👌✌

[TripleAce]

20 given only 7 years. 5-10 is more reasonable
That's like at least 3 different guys per year... It's not so much that you had sex with 3-4 different guys per years it's more that you didn't keep a relationship longer than 2 months otherwise how can you go screw a new guy everything 3 months

[Bigbubba]

He probably just think all girls have the same sex drive. Some girls want sex more than others. And in definition yes that is being a whore. But it's only negative because of the the negative connotation to it. Unfortunately this is the society we live in which is kind of a shame.
Well, back to smoking weed.

[Bandit74]

"Guys sleep with a lot of girls all the time and we're expected to accept it but if we have sex with a lot of guys, we're whores."

Nobody forces women to accept a man's promiscuous past. Women choose to accept it on their own.

And your boyfriend hasn't slept with a lot of women so its not like he is a hypocrite. Your number is more than double what the lifetime average number of sexual partners is.

[akadatank44]

You can't be with someone who calls you a slut or whore. he's an insecure ass hole who doesn't respect you or your decisions. You are clean and love fucking. What else does a guy want? This dude doesn't know what he's missing. I hope you left him.

[hellionthesagereborn]

So he is an asshole for not respecting her life choices but she isn't an asshole for not respecting his? That's a double standard. If she gets the privilege of sleeping around without judgment then he should have the right to decide he is not compatable with her. What is with people and acting like women are incapable of being held accountable for their actions. If she was upset that he slept with more women then she had guys would that be acceptable? To you probably yes. That's hypocrisy.

[TheTruthHurtsImSorry]

Your nose is very brown, even for a White Knight

[abc3643]

Actually, most guys don't have large sexual histories and many women do. In his mind, he has to compete against all those past men of yours. I believe, for him, it's too much.

Move on. You've lost him.

[wamkallis]

sadly he's probably right. my number has always been lower than that of my partner, but I acknowledge that I am in rare company in being comfortable with this.

to the OP. I would say that reach and make him know that just because you've had other partners doesn't mean it's a competition. I know it's easier said than done, but just do what you do best, don't try and put yourself against what you THINK some other guy is doing. if you can think it, try it.

[Gonetowardthewind]

Well as long as you don't have an STD and willing to experiment in the bedroom I don't care how many partners someone has had.

[Hidden_P]

You sleep with almost 3 people a year.
Might not be a slut but it's hardly a sign of a committed relationship.

[garrrrry]

he's just being salty because you won that little mental game by having more partners than him, if he loves you he will see past it quickly

[genericname85]

wow what a kid. is he really pissed cause you had more? jeez he really begrudges you having more fun than him xD

[jman46241]

This is always a bad subject to bring up..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpQqH4H_SUQ

[jacquesvol]

He should understand that -by all logic- any normal 28 yr old can have a higher 'number' than a just as normal 18 yr old.

[johng425]

this is ridiculous. if he can't get over that i don't think he's mature enough for a relationship

[Herbert_Hoover]

Give him some space. If you don't really hear from him after 4 or 5 days, find a new guy.

[LordBaeron]

yeah, maybe she can hit 30 by the end of the week

[armadilo]

dude is just salty. just get on with your life and eventually he'll forget.

[advaj98]

I mean I thought my ex was a whore and she's only slept with 7 different guys myself included

[advaj98]

Happy late birthday if it matters to you

[es20490446e]

https://youtu.be/b2KM3aIJPDU

[Big150]

This guy is embarrassed. 😏
I've slept with 12 since age 18
These relationships didn't last long either, that guy wants a keeper.

[Anonymous]

He's jealous because you have slept with more guys than he has girls. He's also insecure

[FaithfulGuardian]

"I'm not a slut or anything, but I do like sex"... maybe it is actually your stupidity that is pissing him off, not because you are a slut, so I think you are fine, don't worry about it.

[Anonymous]

The average person has 8 sexual partners in their life until they find the one

[Anonymous]

You have had sex with 3 times as many guys as he has with girls, so you can't really make the hypocrite argument in this case.

[enigmatikal]

thats a lot of mileage lol

[JustYourType]

sounds like jealousy to me.

[reptocarl]

He's an ass. It doesn't matter. Dump him

[CheerGirl38139]

Lesson learned?

[LordBaeron]

she can't unfuck 15 guys, can she

[CheerGirl38139]

@LordBaeron that wasn't the lesson genius. 👌

[LordBaeron]

what was it then in your opinion?

[CheerGirl38139]

@LordBaeron don't even bother me with your back to the cave man days fucktardery. And no, I'm not "promiscuous" - as if that were anyone's business if I were.

shooo troll.

[LordBaeron]

i never said anything about caveman stuff and i never accused you of being promiscuous. but you getting so defensive over nothing tells me everything i need to know.

[CheerGirl38139]

@LordBaeron no mate. It doesn't tell you shit.

Come back when you've been here a while, genius.

[CheerGirl38139]

@LordBaeron "20+ and you are surprised he's disappointed? yes, it makes you look cheap. i personally find even 7-8 too many to have a relationship. and the double standard comes from evolutionary psychology: when we were cavemen, women had to carefully select who they had sex with because it could result in pregnancy, meaning she would be defenseless for a long time with the baby, she had to find someone who would take care and protect her. and guys had to bang many women to ensure their bloodline continues, not all stayed alive. that is still in our brains today, you can't cheat biology."

In case you forgot your caveman reference.

#troll

[LordBaeron]

so are you saying evolutionary psychology is a field of science that we shouldn't take seriously?
you never answered my question. what lesson were you talking about?
i'm not a troll, truth is uncomfortable sometimes. medicine doesn't always taste good.

[CheerGirl38139]

@LordBaeron adios mate. you and I both know what your agenda is, and I'm not playing your game. Good luck with your time here on G@G.

[LordBaeron]

you got no argument, you know i'm right, so you attack me personally and accuse me of trolling because you got nothing else. very mature. at 21 you should know better.

[CheerGirl38139]

@LordBaeron no dude. your agenda is the "women should remain "virtuous" while men have to go fuck all the girls they want" bullshit. And Im not going to give my energy to that sort of fucktardery.

[LordBaeron]

i never said that. girls are free to take all the dick they want. sluts are a lot of fun! but i will not choose a slut for a relationship.

[CheerGirl38139]

@LordBaeron right. only females can be sluts right?

[CheerGirl38139]

@LordBaeron

s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/.../...8910ec062d.jpg

[CheerGirl38139]

Just for the record there genius..."slut" is a slur that is an insidious word... but if I were to use it in my normal vocabulary, it would also apply to guys... which for you, it clearly does not "sluts are fun but I don't want one for a relationship" - well that door swings both ways scooter... if you fuck a bunch of "sluts" you yourself are in fact, a "slut".

Be gone.

[Anonymous]

Yeah I wouldn't date you either. It's okay move on

[bookboy]

Sounds like a baby

[Say10]

he'll get over it

[chuy10]

that's way too many

[Sabretooth]

20 guys?