Have you ever lost a friend because one of you have developed feelings for the other? Did one of you ask the other out / confess your feelings?

[Anonymous]

Who broke off the friendship? How did it happen? How did you feel?

If you were the one who had feelings for your friend, was it worth the risk, or did you regret what you did?

[btbc92]

I had a similar situation but I wouldn't say I lost them. More like we went about our own way. But I can definitely say I am not friends with him anymore because he didn't respect me when I said that I didn't feel the same way about him. He was extremely aggressive and being similar to that of a player, disrespected me and my friends who are also twin sisters, both had a crush on him, and I heard from the both of them that he wasn't nice to them. The last straw was when he just got a girlfriend and he kept bringing her up like to try to get me jealous, which wasn't working, and then say how I would have made a better girlfriend than who is was with. I never spoke to him again after that day. This was back in middle school to the end of my high school years.

My other friend in middle school had a crush on me, I found out indirectly by a mutual friend who also told me that she had a crush on him and then got mad at me because I told him that and because he liked me. Meanwhile, I'm stuck in a love triangle I never wanted to be in. Overall, everything was good and were still great friends. Just adults now and living life. I just find it really sad that some people are so selfish with this and rather just jump into romance instead of appreciating the kind of relationship they already have if that person isn't ready for that yet, or can't because of different views and values. I don't regret the outcomes. I knew that it wasn't meant to last.

[little_bird1]

It happened to me and my best friend. But we didn't lose friendship. He was the first one to break the ice: one random day he was hanging out at my place as usual and we started talking about some sexual things. He then pulled my chair, tossed me on the bed and kissed me. Lol! I was shocked, but I liked it. Then we had sex. And then I developed feelings for him, but he had to move away to another country. That was 8 years ago. We got over each other but we stayed in touch, we're still best friends. He lives 2000 miles away and we're probably never gonna live in the same place again. But if we ever do, I wouldn't mind marrying him. :)

[shanky22]

not "loosing a friend" +"still in touch "-> that's awesome!! :) :)

[karahiri]

indeed i have. i didn't "confess" exactly, but he could tell how i felt. he didn't feel the same way about me so i just kind of distanced myself by making him not like me LOL. best decision ever or else i would have just kept pining after that boy. i don't regret being sort of open about how i felt... i don't think i could have controlled it anyways. i've never been about the "i'm gonna MAKE him want me" life. fucckkkk that. if he doesn't want me, he doesn't want me, and that is OKAY. just gotta jump on the next fish.

[Dme500]

she broke off the friendship. she just stopped talking to me. i shoulda seen it coming cause she doesn't deal well with conflict but i was blind sided.

i felt like a shot rag. you know covered in saddness shot as if she blew her nose on me after reading my pathetic letter and felt guilty that she would never see me that way... then she threw me away so she wouldn't have to deal with the feelings (aka snot covered dave)

it still kinda hurts but i know thats because i haven't really found anyone else so the loneliness gets to me. BUT... im glad i did it. id rather know and never see her again than wonder and see her on facebook and think "i just need one more chance".

i always encourage other to do the same (preferably face to face loke a man and not through text or a letter like some confidence lacking bitch. far from a turn on) because you never know, maybe she/he likes you too. y'all could have something special and prove that at least one thing we were told as children is true... there is true love.

[KantStop]

I did. I'll take the blame for not being forthright.

Was a complicated time with strange priorities or perspective. Not surprised nothing happened between us, but it was confusing for me at the time when we'd spend hours on end with each other. Ditching class, sleeping together (Just Sleeping), etc.

To sum it up, I was married at the time (ending/ended), she knew, we agreed to just be friends, and then I was torn between not having what I want and being where I was. Found a compromise in an ultimatum.

It's funny, because I Just bumped into her at a store 4 days ago after 2 years. She looked like she was about to cry and I can't explain how I felt, as I've never felt that way before (at least not that I can remember). She was going to walk away but I told her to wait. I apologized, she said it was okay, and then we went our separate ways.

Reminded me of 500 Days Of Summer, in a way. If you need more details for your own sake, I can provide them.

[1988fido]

Yes
I asked her out and got rejected
And I was in love with her and stayed like that for months afterward.

It was worth it for sure because I know I would never been able to move on :/ And keep developing more feelings getting more attached and thinking I will have chance by staying around and showing her my personality whike am already friend zoned ofc etc...

:) so we stopped talking as friends barley say hi and I stopped hanging out with same group coz I can't handle the pain, it felt like so Shit.

[shanky22]

yup I've lost a "friend"!!
we were together in college same class rather... she got committed to one of my friends and every single day I had to watch them both in my all classes for 3 fucking long years... she got to know about me later.. she used to call me her "best friend" and still would only remember me when she had some kind of work. I gave her everything that a best friend would do.. I got her into the clubs she wanted to be in, every time when she was in trouble I was there, I lost many friends during these college years "for" her, I tried my best to be friends, but in the end I had to hear "everything you did was your choice I never asked for it"
I decided not to do anything anymore for her and never spoke to her ever since..
I'm single ever since its been 3 years since but I didn't or I couldn't move on and I'm afraid I'll never be able to ever!!
Even today I think where did I go wrong?

[andoesta]

I'm sorry to tell you man, but you're the definition of a tool; she was using you big time.
1) just because you're nice to someone, doesn't mean they're gonna like you the way you like them
2) a good friendship, is a give and take relationship. red flags should go up if you find yourself doing a lot of favors for them
3) you didn't "give her everything a best friend would do", you were just her slave for a while until you got smart

Never be subservient to someone. You always look out for yourself first and then others if you're able. You're worth someone's genuine interest, don't try to milk a male cow

[shanky22]

I don't know was I being used or not? I still feel "awkward" it still hurts mate... I don't wana remember or curse the past but the worst thing is that few weeks ago my friend was fooling around with me he messaged her and she tried to talk to me.. but she told him
"we can be friends nothing more if he is willing to talk that way we should talk "... I didn't ask for her favor.. I'm good on my own... that hurts bad because whom I once called my best "friend" never really understood me

[andoesta]

You were most definitely being used, my friend. No one brings out the "I never asked you to" card without fully well knowing that they were being manipulative prior; it's the common defense.

The only way you'll get over it is to understand what happened, learn and grow from it, and move on.

Yea it sucks that this happened to you, but life is a learning experience. Now you're better equipped to handle this kind of situation if you see it arise again.

like they say: there are plenty of other fish in the sea, and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, bud

[shanky22]

thanks mate.. sure you're right!! thanks for reading and your wonderful advice!! :)

[andoesta]

you're very welcome! What got me was the 3 celibate years. I went 3 years single after my first break up, so I understand exactly how you feel.
I used that time to learn who I am, who I want to be, accept and love myself, and experiment a lot! Everything is better when you feel good in your skin and happy to be yourself.
There's too much to life to be caught on the little things. I wish you the best of luck in life, my friend!

[shanky22]

I wish the same for you mate!! have a great life and I hope you catch plenty of "fish" ;) :)

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I developed feelings for my one friend who i loss contact with her
no one broke off the friendship we just loss contact of each other.
No deep down in the end, i decided that it was for the best since
she did some things to hurt me so i see things this way it was for
the best unless i knew for sure something was coming out of it.

[Cloudy25]

Yes, I still miss him at times. We met at summercamp and had a blast. I thought we were just friends, one year later he admits he likes me and we kind of gradually lost touch after that.
Shit happens.

[Mario8]

bullshit :/

[Cloudy25]

@Mario8 Why is it BS

[Mario8]

Such things evolve spontaneously.

No need to talk

[mdharoon]

yes I have lost her.. but I couldn't be just friends and she knew that as well!! I guess it is better to confront and get over it asap!!

[Asker]

So I guess you don't regret your decision to tell her? Were you very sad that you lost her as a friend though? So did you agree not to stay friends? Was she understanding about it? Thanks!

[mdharoon]

I don't know yet whether I regret my decision or not.. I was in a hell of a depression.. Yes staying friends = Complications unnecessary unless u aren't that emotional person.. Oh she was not really understanding who would not want a person who loves you in the friends zone.. I would be the easiest to expoilt in any case.. And luckily at least in India.. girls have crazy options.. there's hardly value for true emotions or love.. So now I stay non-emotional!!

[Bigprince]

You developed feelings because there was nobody else interested in you at the time which left you lonely and vulnerable but they had options so there was no need to bottom out with you, so to speak..

[Jezeppe]

I've done that multiple times and was it worth the risk? No, every female friend I developed feelings for... I lost them. I only regret it when I think about it.

[Asker]

I'm sure that's very painful at the time. Did you lose them because they were really surprised that you felt that way about them, or was it because it was painful for you to be around them? Did the friendships fade or did one of you end things? Thanks.

[Jezeppe]

I lost them because they didn't like the fact that I liked them in that way. None of them considered me as anything more than just a friend. Mostly they just stopped talking to me, so I guess they ended the friendships.

[RolandCuthbert]

I dunno if people in such relationships were ever really friends.

[Asker]

I guess it depends on when the feelings begin to develop? If it happens after they have been friends for a while, I guess those people just somehow begin to see their friends differently and their feelings evolve.

Have you ever been in such a situation?

Thanks.

[RolandCuthbert]

Well, I have been in the "friendzone". It took me a while to see that the woman in question never cared about me. Otherwise, we would have friends, lovers, or nothing at all. And what she did was worse than just ending it.

But I have had other women who were friends/romantic interests, they actually cared about me and we have kept in touch with each other, because of that.

And those relationships, I treasure.

[EthanR]

I caught feelings for a childhood friend a couple of years ago. I told her and we ended up falling apart for a year ish. we eventually moved on and are good friends again

[Asker]

After you told her, was it because she was really surprised that you felt that way about her, or was it because it was painful for you to be around her that you fell apart for a year? And could you tell me how you reconnected? Thanks!

[EthanR]

it was just not reciprocated and awkward. As for reconnecting? we just started talking again slowly there wasn't really an event

[Anonymous]

Church trip this gal "claimed me", was bullying the other gals to stay away & not talk to me, so when she wouldn't quit, found a big flirt that was unafraid of her and orchestrated a BF-GF appearance that shut her down.

[edd1405]

It can get messy sometimes but in my case, I confessed, she was not read and eventually our Frndship was off. All was mutual. I was weirded out and she too.

[Vanjasper]

Don't think it happens much among guys. But i'd think it happens more among women/girls.
Could be wrong.

[Vanjasper]

Stupid answer, didn't read the question properly. Sorry.

[serious]

To answer your title question. No, nothing like that has ever happened.

[Loveherbut]

Nope
However we had feelings and started to date was one of the most stable relationships I've ever had until her mom broke us up i guess my freind didn't think im worth fighting for

[singlebee]

Why did she try to break your relationship with her?

[Regular1]

The only reason a man needs women in his life is for sex. When it becomes apparent that a girl I want to bone isn't going to put out, it's time to cease communication

[Anonymous]

hmmm... No we didn't lost our friendship..
but he likes someone else instead.
I never regret what i have told him. at least i have no words left unspoken.

[DanyalCh]

blowjob is a silent Language, use that