Have you ever developed feelings for a friend?

Question

Not someone in the "friendzone"-- someone who was actually a friend who you later developed feelings for.

CallMeDave · Accepted Answer

Yes. About half of my romantic relationships, including my current one, started out as friendships and then developed into something more. And interestingly, those have been my longest lasting relationships. I wonder if that's not just coincidence, but perhaps that having already developed a friendship bond before starting to date make a relationship stronger or at least makes it more likely to last.

Certainly people that have been friends for a while know a lot more about each other than people that just recently met so I'm thinking that when you start dating a friend, you already know that you're compatible in at least some ways. Of course not all friendships can be romances. My best friend for a while was female and we got along great as friends, but I know we wouldn't have lasted long if we were dating because we had some incompatibilities that weren't really a problem in a friendship but would have been in a romance.

With my current girlfriend though, as we learned more about each other while being friends, we liked what we saw in each other both as friends and as romantic partners so we decided to try dating and several years later we're still together.

It can certainly work.

crazy8000 · Accepted Answer

Yes.

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

Yeap. Several times growing up. I'd get a crush on one of my guy friends, especially if we spent a lot of time together or had things in common.

... the feeling was never mutual 😑

They only liked me as a friend and preferred we keep it that way. Or worse, they fell for another girl and wanted my help setting them up since "you're a girl."

SongBird3 · Accepted Answer

I always date guys that I was friends with first so yes lol

razelove · Answer

Yes, though in pretty much every case I think the girl wanted me, I just wasn't physically attracted. Women are persistent, meticulous, and planning creatures when it comes to bending the feelings.

I'm not saying that's a bad thing, it is what it is, the relationships were typically good, if short lived. Now that I think about it, almost exclusively in college.

Sonorous · Answer

Oh yeah! Many times! Even with people that I wouldn't have otherwise been physically attracted to.

ElissaDido · Answer

Nope  But then again I mostly chill with girls and I'm straight.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Yes but those feelings were not reciprocated. Twice. Gloria and Gail.

aWes0MeNeSs · Answer

Yes, I've only developed feelings for people I've befriended and gotten to know.

Desconhecida · Answer

I guess it happens to us all once... but at the same time, these are the easier to let go

mrfoox · Answer

Yeah! That was how my longest relationship developed. We were friends and best friends for years, and then dated for another 3 years.

pinkiemint · Answer

that’s actually how i got together with my son’s dad haha. he was my older sister’s friend for years, and whenever i’d see him come by our house i was genuinely intrigued by him. a few years later when i was around 11 or 12 we started hanging out, and we were friends for years before we started dating. eventually i developed a small crush on him that evolved into a huge massive crush. i never liked those feelings haha, so i tried my hardest to convince myself that i didn’t like him, and i planned to NEVER tell him how i felt. plus, the fact that he was a few years older than me gave me the idea that he only regarded me as his friend’s annoying little sister, and i figured he was only friends with me out of obligation to my sister or something, or just because he was trying to be nice. and i’m stubborn as hell, so it worked for a little while of convincing myself that i didn’t like him, because i didn’t want to focus on it. but i remember one day my sister was telling me about him going on a date with someone, and i remember crying and wondering why i was crying but it made my heart hurt so much haha. little 14 year old me was crushed. but, to my surprise about a year later we were just talking, and he told me he liked me. and it was in the middle of the MOST CHILL conversation ever. like, i was so shocked because i never saw it coming. but yeah haha, i guess it ended up working out in my favour by developing feelings for a friend

AndrewMG · Answer

I've genuinely never used a dating app so pretty much everyone I've dated has come from within my social circle, so effectively a friend. There has been though occasions where for example I've been at a party and I've met someone for the first time and we've dated, but even then they've had a connection with a friend.

Mattietate7 · Answer

I have a lot of guy friends and feel like I've fallen for nearly all of them at one point or another and them with me but only once has it ever been worth it to me to take it to the next level. I think I tend to only develop feelings for guys I am friends with first because with that comes a level of trust. You most likely already know all the bad parts of each other but also all the sweet quirks they have too. It's hard to spend a lot of time with someone of the opposite sex, that you get along with, and share similar ideals and not think "what if?"

Anonymous · Answer

Straight guys do not make time in their lives for women they are not sexually interested in. Period.
No matter what soy males will tell you or other females want to believe...
a straight male does not go out of his way to text, call, or spend time with a female he isn't sexually interested in.

SuperManiac · Answer

My wife and she was an exceptional case. But she was flirty and the signs of interest were mutual. I don't think I was the type to crush on a friend unless I got a good indication that the interest was very mutual. Usually, I made it a point not to date friends except in these cases since there's a higher risk involved as I see it.

Tyler131 · Answer

Yes, one of my best friends liked me before we even became friends. I turned her down a couple times, but after being friends for a while, I started to really like her. We were both alone still and one day I eventually brought up the subject and she told me that we could never date each other, this was hard to hear because we were essentially the same person. Dating and attraction are super confusing to me.

midnightmoon05 · Answer

No, I keep that apart clear.

i have guy friends
kissed me... got me annoyed.
one I wanted to introduced to my best fiend... that got messed up
one kissed me then ran off...
and a few others
those were college years
I learned to not be too friendly with guys since, if I am not interested.

Bloodflows15 · Answer

Honestly had a huge crush on my long distance best friend as a kid. I was absolutely obsessive over her and looking back I cringe, wishing I would of strengthened our friendship instead of tearing it down through being a creep. We’re on good terms these days as we’re both at a age now where we can discuss and work out our differences. I’ve also had a bit of a crush on my current best friend for a while, but I playfully flirt with her sometimes and she makes light of it.

Derick529 · Answer

The problem is not if you ever had, the problem is with who and when you develop feelings for a friend. This would definitely make things complicated depending on the situation. Avoiding the situation would make things worst because it will become more awkward whenever there's a conversation.

If you can recognize the signs the earliest, the better to manage them.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Yes, i developed feelings for this one girl
and she told me that she would only go out
on a date with me but she saw me as a Big
Brother it hurt me inside and yes she was quite
younger than me but every time she came to
visit my heart sunk deep i had such a crush

ChiTown33 · Answer

That's usually how it works for me. I may find a woman physically attractive, but she's one dimensional till i get to know her.
Though i must admit after the last debacle i consider myself armored. It took me a month to get over the rejection. And a year to get passed it (mainly because she remained in my life and wouldn't the wound heal lol). But now i am passed it and am not eager to feel that again anytime soon.

JustRollTheDice · Answer

Thankfully not and must suck a lot because of the internal debate of telling them and getting the love you want or rejection and ruining everything

Kurαȷ · Answer

All of the people I have ever been interested in were initially my friends/classmates.
I have never went out on a "date date" with someone I've had no prior history with.

Well, all but one.
I've also met someone on here some years ago, they were the only person who I had a non-platonic interest in from the get go.

LaurenM1993 · Answer

only once. He was my friend from college... he was so nice and sweet... just never said anything but neither did I... but we really didn’t have to. He ended up transferring to a school back home...

oh yeah, we were both from the same state in an out of state school. Both from Indiana going to school in Montana.

I haven’t seen him since and he never texts so it’s probably over. And I wish I still had him as my friend. I think we woulda been a good team. Ohh well

❤️ TMS

just_a_potato · Answer

Ohhh yeah I have a gay friend that I've been the closest with since freshman year. At homecoming junior year he slow danced with me and during that 4 minute dance, I realized I had feelings for him, it was crushing cause ya know
He's gay
But I got over it and was able to hang out with him again without feeling awkward after a couple months

Bloodmanex · Answer

Yeah... I was friends with a girl for a year... we ended up becoming best friends. A few months after that I realised I had feelings for her and a few months on after that, I dropped hints that I liked her. We got together a few weeks later and were in a relationship for 3 years.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

Yup. Stupidest thing I ever did. Won't make that mistake ever again.

JackSmy · Answer

A few times, but it never worked out because it wasn't reciprocated by her. I was 'friendzoned' and 'too nice'.

Bluemax · Answer

In my adult life, I've never developed feelings for a friend. In my youth I did. I had a friend develop feelings for me. It was heartbreaking.

p_nut · Answer

Yep and it was a doozy after she didn't reciprocate the same feelings. Still getting over it.

OddBeMe · Answer

I have before, but it’s never love, only infatuation. So when it didn’t pan out, I got over it.

Anonymous · Answer

I think I am developing feelings for a friend currently... But i've friendzoned him before so based on this question I guess it doesn't count lol. I don't know if i'm gonna tell him or not as i'm not 100% sure yet but I don't want to lose him to someone else and I can't commit to anyone else because they're not him. So it's not easy

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, our situation got complicated and now we haven’t said a word to each other or had any communication with each other in close to 2 years, nor do I really want to at this point. Sad? Yes, but I think it’s better for me this way

ImHere4You · Answer

Romantic feelings, no, attracted to them, absolutely.

Hurlyburly · Answer

Yes. Most of my relationships started out this way.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

I had moments where I wished my best friend wasn't gay, they soon pass though coz I know that I'd go crazy if we dated since he's very high energy and I'm more calm.

Clarke498 · Answer

What do you mean with the details? Because she's friendzoned, she can't be a friend?

skeetskeetskeet · Answer

Yeah i do that all the time... once you figure out that you get along better in a relationship with someone you already like hanging out with you'll be trying to go to pound town with all your. Homeboys to

BlackRoseFairy · Answer

Thankfully not. I wouldn't know how to handle this...

Jjpayne · Answer

I'd like to have a friend that I considered to be that close with

loveslongnails · Answer

No, but I've chosen to BE friends with someone I knew I was attracted to right off the bat, because of circumstances :) :-D

Carbon-12 · Answer

I haven't, but I have had friends get crushes on me. It is awful because you like them... but not that much.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Yeah. With girls I was friends with before puberty. But it took awhile because my brain had them stuck in the friend category for several years.

Anonymous · Answer

I have one girl, who is friend, but I would not mind to be more then friend...

I know her for ages, when she around she is always near like girlfriend and I had few other friends even asked are we together?

Only one think, she lives 2-3h drive away now, but visits 3-4 times a year.

I just do not know what to do with this situation...

bebop24 · Answer

It's actually hard for me to even develope feeling for someone if we weren't friends in some way before

Jono1327 · Answer

I had a friend in highschool that I had feelings for but never told her as she was dating my brothers x girlfriends brother, any they broke up and she told me at school so I gave her my phone number as a friend to call then I told her I love her and if she wanted I would love to date her. We aren't friends any more as her mum never approved of next after that. Sadly

tartaarsaus · Answer

Yeah. Happened just once. But I got over those feelings in like a week or something like that.

green1supremacy · Answer

I say no. I don't have single female friends anyway. But I don't even date women who are friends with people I know.

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah I have with this one guy. I only saw him as a brother that I could talk to easily but I could safely say that I have developed feelings for him.

Philyouup · Answer

yes. it took a while for those feelings to evolve in to deep platonic love.

jamesgoldman · Answer

My first relationship... she was a friend for a few months but being older and far more attractive than me I liked her but never thought we'd end up together but we did for 8 months until she moved to Poland

Hans222 · Answer

I have, only to discover she was not single. Has happened more than once, fortunately I could at least safe the friendships :D

WarningWarning · Answer

Yes. But i have also always been taken. Most of my life i have been in a relationship. So it couldnt go far.

BlondeGoneWild · Answer

Not romantic feelings, but sexual feelings all the time

perislav85 · Answer

Yes, I have. Almost all my relationships begin with friendship and then, somewhere in the time, something happens and friendship turns into the relationship.

Jessymjr · Answer

Omg yes then we dated and it was fucked up

NightFlirt · Answer

Yes, I decided to keep it to myself and keep him as a friend as I knew he didn't feel the same way.

Drowningkingfish · Answer

Yep, but i avoided going romantic on her because i didn't want rejection plain and simple.

theCobbler · Answer

Yes! It was awkward to say the least... and as we grew to be lovers are friendship only became stronger and to this day are very close friends although we're 1500 miles apart !

Jesslin412 · Answer

Yep! Miss him sometimes but we are different people

Browneye57 · Answer

Sure. And why there's no such thing is purely platonic man-woman friendships... one or the other will always want more.

Tommy2017 · Answer

Yeah most at times. The sex can be pretty amazing when it is with a friend because you can be more open with each other.

Darknut · Answer

Yes and it didn't go well her attitude and demeanor changed. She suddenly became an enemy. Wish I had never said anything.

Have you ever developed feelings for a friend?

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