Yes. About half of my romantic relationships, including my current one, started out as friendships and then developed into something more. And interestingly, those have been my longest lasting relationships. I wonder if that's not just coincidence, but perhaps that having already developed a friendship bond before starting to date make a relationship stronger or at least makes it more likely to last.
Certainly people that have been friends for a while know a lot more about each other than people that just recently met so I'm thinking that when you start dating a friend, you already know that you're compatible in at least some ways. Of course not all friendships can be romances. My best friend for a while was female and we got along great as friends, but I know we wouldn't have lasted long if we were dating because we had some incompatibilities that weren't really a problem in a friendship but would have been in a romance.
With my current girlfriend though, as we learned more about each other while being friends, we liked what we saw in each other both as friends and as romantic partners so we decided to try dating and several years later we're still together.
That's great! That's actually how I'd prefer it to happen, if I ever had the choice. You can develop a deep bond and really know someone when you're friends with them first!
Yes, I think that the biggest advantage is that you already know them pretty well so you at least have an idea of what you're getting into. A romance is a different thing than a friendship though, so not all friends, even close friends, would make good romantic partners. But hopefully while you're still friends you'll learn enough to have a reasonably good idea about whether a romance will work before you do it. Trying to turn a friendship into a romance can ruin the relationship entirely if it doesn't work out, so there's definitely risk in taking that step.
Don't get obsessed about friendzone. even that can change. It's a question of if one of them or both begin to trigger different kind of the tight right feelings and enough of them.
Yeap. Several times growing up. I'd get a crush on one of my guy friends, especially if we spent a lot of time together or had things in common.
... the feeling was never mutual 😑
They only liked me as a friend and preferred we keep it that way. Or worse, they fell for another girl and wanted my help setting them up since "you're a girl."
Yes, though in pretty much every case I think the girl wanted me, I just wasn't physically attracted. Women are persistent, meticulous, and planning creatures when it comes to bending the feelings.
I'm not saying that's a bad thing, it is what it is, the relationships were typically good, if short lived. Now that I think about it, almost exclusively in college.
that’s actually how i got together with my son’s dad haha. he was my older sister’s friend for years, and whenever i’d see him come by our house i was genuinely intrigued by him. a few years later when i was around 11 or 12 we started hanging out, and we were friends for years before we started dating. eventually i developed a small crush on him that evolved into a huge massive crush. i never liked those feelings haha, so i tried my hardest to convince myself that i didn’t like him, and i planned to NEVER tell him how i felt. plus, the fact that he was a few years older than me gave me the idea that he only regarded me as his friend’s annoying little sister, and i figured he was only friends with me out of obligation to my sister or something, or just because he was trying to be nice. and i’m stubborn as hell, so it worked for a little while of convincing myself that i didn’t like him, because i didn’t want to focus on it. but i remember one day my sister was telling me about him going on a date with someone, and i remember crying and wondering why i was crying but it made my heart hurt so much haha. little 14 year old me was crushed. but, to my surprise about a year later we were just talking, and he told me he liked me. and it was in the middle of the MOST CHILL conversation ever. like, i was so shocked because i never saw it coming. but yeah haha, i guess it ended up working out in my favour by developing feelings for a friend
I've genuinely never used a dating app so pretty much everyone I've dated has come from within my social circle, so effectively a friend. There has been though occasions where for example I've been at a party and I've met someone for the first time and we've dated, but even then they've had a connection with a friend.
I think it's mainly down to the fact that I'm not sure I'm blind date material lol (blind dates/random encounters =social awkwardness in my head)... I know for a fact I've been set up with someone at a party but I never realised what was happening, so I ended up being natural and getting on... if for one moment I'd known it was a blind date I'd of shown an even more extreme version of social; awkwardness lol
I have a lot of guy friends and feel like I've fallen for nearly all of them at one point or another and them with me but only once has it ever been worth it to me to take it to the next level. I think I tend to only develop feelings for guys I am friends with first because with that comes a level of trust. You most likely already know all the bad parts of each other but also all the sweet quirks they have too. It's hard to spend a lot of time with someone of the opposite sex, that you get along with, and share similar ideals and not think "what if?"
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Anonymous
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+1 y
Straight guys do not make time in their lives for women they are not sexually interested in. Period. No matter what soy males will tell you or other females want to believe... a straight male does not go out of his way to text, call, or spend time with a female he isn't sexually interested in.
@SeaSprayBreeze Yes. Being sexually interested is the animal instinct part of mating which is what draws us to you, but when the female keeps us on the hook and we are forced to get to know her before she gives us sex... we start to like her as a person, so a guy "friend" is one who wanted to simply have sex with you but has been put in the dreaded "friend zone" and has been forced to know you for who you are outside of the sex part. So the guy who is still making time for you when you haven't given him sex, will want a relationship. But be careful, often times moving from friends to partners can ruin the "friendship".
My wife and she was an exceptional case. But she was flirty and the signs of interest were mutual. I don't think I was the type to crush on a friend unless I got a good indication that the interest was very mutual. Usually, I made it a point not to date friends except in these cases since there's a higher risk involved as I see it.
Yes, one of my best friends liked me before we even became friends. I turned her down a couple times, but after being friends for a while, I started to really like her. We were both alone still and one day I eventually brought up the subject and she told me that we could never date each other, this was hard to hear because we were essentially the same person. Dating and attraction are super confusing to me.
@Ciel66 I turned her down because back then I thought I was really hot. Back then dating sites actually worked for everybody and not just really good looking guys. I had literally hundreds of pretty girls on my MySpace and would text 20+ girls at a time. She wasn't exactly in the best shape and my shallowness told me to turn her down. Funny thing is now, I would love a girl like her.
@Ciel66 She is married to a man she doesn't even find attractive. Also, I tried seeing her a year ago and she kept making excuses as to why she couldn't even though she would tell me we should hangout.
What d0o you want from her? She is married, dont act as devil, if she isn't happy and you are really a friend, you should support her to improve her life not to destroy her, she doesn't deserve that bad attitude from you! i feel angry of such guys like you who act soft in the wrong time!!! such a woman respect her dignity and her husband, you just want to ruin her life! don't be toxic person
@Ciel66 Why are you making such assumptions about me? I developed feelings for her yearrrrrrrrrs before they even met. Also when I made contact with her a year ago it was for friendship and not trying to steal her away from her husband. It's really unfair that you made such assumptions.
i have guy friends kissed me... got me annoyed. one I wanted to introduced to my best fiend... that got messed up one kissed me then ran off... and a few others those were college years I learned to not be too friendly with guys since, if I am not interested.
Honestly had a huge crush on my long distance best friend as a kid. I was absolutely obsessive over her and looking back I cringe, wishing I would of strengthened our friendship instead of tearing it down through being a creep. We’re on good terms these days as we’re both at a age now where we can discuss and work out our differences. I’ve also had a bit of a crush on my current best friend for a while, but I playfully flirt with her sometimes and she makes light of it.
The problem is not if you ever had, the problem is with who and when you develop feelings for a friend. This would definitely make things complicated depending on the situation. Avoiding the situation would make things worst because it will become more awkward whenever there's a conversation.
If you can recognize the signs the earliest, the better to manage them.
Yes, i developed feelings for this one girl and she told me that she would only go out on a date with me but she saw me as a Big Brother it hurt me inside and yes she was quite younger than me but every time she came to visit my heart sunk deep i had such a crush
That's usually how it works for me. I may find a woman physically attractive, but she's one dimensional till i get to know her. Though i must admit after the last debacle i consider myself armored. It took me a month to get over the rejection. And a year to get passed it (mainly because she remained in my life and wouldn't the wound heal lol). But now i am passed it and am not eager to feel that again anytime soon.
All of the people I have ever been interested in were initially my friends/classmates. I have never went out on a "date date" with someone I've had no prior history with.
Well, all but one. I've also met someone on here some years ago, they were the only person who I had a non-platonic interest in from the get go.
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