How do you stay faithful in a long distance relationship?

[Anonymous]

#TheStruggleIsReal

Updates

+1 y

I guess i shouldve rephrased this question as "I love him, but Should I breakup if i feel that he is not giving me the attention i deserve in this LDR relationship?" Its just so hard when i feel like i come 4th in his life when guys here in my town could offer everything he offers but more (like close proximity). I love him but sometimes i question if he loves me the same way. He says one thing but does another. I could never bring myself to cheat, but i could see myself breaking up to avoid it

Updates

+1 y

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Been having nightmares pertaining to #interracialdating so #Pleasehelp and read below? ↗

[Anonymous]

I was in a long-distance relationship for about a year and a half until I moved in with my boyfriend. It wasn't hard for me to stay faithful, the only thing I found difficult was the communication aspect. We had some misunderstandings but none of our issues were about fidelity.

If you're finding it hard to remain faithful you may want to think about if this is the right relationship for you. When you really love and care about someone, it isn't hard to be loyal. If there are other issues in your relationship, talk to him about it. As I mentioned before, communication can be the most difficult aspect of a long-distance relationship but it's still possible to make it work, it just requires some extra effort.

[Asker]

I mean im not for cheating. I just struggle with avoiding guys who live closer flirting with me. Like sometimes they make me want to breakup with him just because he's so far away. But i love him, so i can't bring myself to end us

[Opinion Owner]

I understand but if that's the case, just be straightforward and tell those guys you aren't interested. Even in a regular relationship that is not long-distance, you may still experience other guys flirting with you. You just have to ignore them or tell them straight up that you're taken.

[depeche2015]

talk to them only and don't flirt with others. it's easy. just tell annoying pervy guys you are taken and don't let them get think it's okay to flirt. you can have friends but don't let them disrespect your boyfriend. try going on multiplayer websites where you and your boyfriend can spend time together like rabb. it and omgmobc , watch2gether, etc.

[vsbw14]

thank u for the sites!

[depeche2015]

@vsbw14 you're welcome i made a mytake about long distance relationships. i'll link you guys.

[depeche2015]

@vsbw14 www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a36867-5-websites-that-will-rebuild-or-make-your-ldr-fun

[Asker]

Yea i told him about rabbit. We use Skype for now. But its so hard because im not getting enough attention. Im not clingy and i dont think im an attention whore, but he's just not giving me what i need! I mean he means everything to me. I dont want to lose him. I dont condone cheating, but its hard not to flirt when others give the attention that I wish he was. I haven't cheated and im not going to. But I don't know what else to tell him. I've poured my heart out to him about not talking enough. He always says he'll fix it and in a way he tries but i just dont feel that he's ready for a relationship

[depeche2015]

omg i totally understand you. i'm in the same predicament. like you feel like he could try harder and he's not giving you his all.. while you are.

[vsbw14]

@asker I believe he is a kid! give him time or just say on his face ! please don't cheat him!

[Asker]

@vsbw14 i would never cheat.
@depeche2015 so glad you can understand me 😭

[vsbw14]

cool that's really great attitude of yours

[depeche2015]

yes i do. it's like always on my mind. it's the biggest issue i feel in my relationship right now. like i see all these girls with bf's that show them off and think the world of them and then there's my boyfriend which i feel half asses me while i give him the world. it makes me feel insecure and i honestly get jealous when i see a girl get treated so good by her boyfriend :))

[vsbw14]

😥😤

[Asker]

Yes girl i absolutely feel your pain

[Listening5]

If its really that hard for u and u struggle then dont even bother, dont be in that relationship.
Its not hard being faithful, its hard to deal with not having them.
But being faithful, cmon, thats not hard.

[Asker]

Well maybe i worded the question wrong. Im not struggling with being faithful. Im struggling with not having him around. Ita hard when i have to watch other couples show off in front of me. Its hard when guys in my town hit on me and when i tell them i have a boyfriend they always ask why they never see me

[Asker]

Him not me i mean

[Listening5]

I have been in a long distance relationship and I understand exactly when u say why do this when u have others available there, where u are. Its hard but u gotta ask urself if going through this is truly worth it.
Also, what did u mean by being 4th and him not paying enough attention, sounds like there is more to this.

[Asker]

I don't know sometimes i feel like im not as important. He says i am but I don't know. Anyways, we just spent hours together, so i guess i'll zip my lips for now haha

[Listening5]

Wish u luck, hopefully it works out for you two

[johnmichaei]

it a very hard thing

[Asker]

Yea i realize that now

[johnmichaei]

any relationship is hard baby if you don't get that attention that you feel that you deserve and need

[Asker]

Yea thats the main problem too

[johnmichaei]

I understand sweet little girl as a dominant man attention is everything in a relationship plus communication

[Asker]

YEs it is. Thank you for not fussing at me

[johnmichaei]

what reason would I have to fuss at you for asking a question

[johnmichaei]

I can't fuss at you I've been in the same situation you are

[johnmichaei]

it's all about trust commitment and communication with that person

[Asker]

How long were y'all together

[johnmichaei]

this was probably not as long as this if it's yours we was only 200 miles apart but we stayed together for 7 years until we were together and she and I was in a car accident and she was killed

[johnmichaei]

difference in age 2 she was 27 when I met her I was in my early forties Nola

[johnmichaei]

I apologize I was getting a phone call and trying to type at the same time

[johnmichaei]

he has to make you feel his touch through his words his words have to excite you they have to make you belong to him and you know that you are his and he wants no one but you

[Asker]

Awww im sorry for your loss 😔

[johnmichaei]

thank you I appreciate that I see that he has a good girl and should not mess it up

[johnmichaei]

, so how far apart are the two of y'all

[johnmichaei]

so how far apart are the two of y'all

[johnmichaei]

so have you explain that you needed more of his attention

[Asker]

Yea i told him i need more attention. He'll try one day but thhen go back to his old ways the next. Its like an on and off pattern. But im 2 years older than him so we'll be ldr until he graduates uni in 2019. I just graduated in May

[johnmichaei]

I don't want to be the one to push bullet baby but if it's like this now he probably won't be no different later in 2 years I understand everything you put into it and I hate to be the one to say that because I think love and a relationship is something wonderful and as I say he will not know what he has until it's gone

[johnmichaei]

I apologize and I feel for you i'm very sorry if I hurt you in anyway

[Asker]

You didn't hurt me. I mean I don't know how i'll make it 2 years but we should be meeting in Late July, so maybe a kiss from him will help me survive a little longer

[johnmichaei]

I hope so sweet girl because he doesn't know what he has lots of men with Dad have something like you

[johnmichaei]

kill for a woman like you

[Asker]

Awww thank you :)

[johnmichaei]

you're very much welcome you're very very hard type of a woman to fine

[ibotje]

nearly impossible. if you feel more attraction to other guys then your current long distance boyfriend I'd breakup.

I also had a lot of trouble staying faithful when I was in my LDR

[Asker]

Yea im not going to cheat but when i see a guy who could give me everything my guy gives me plusncloser distance, it makes me want to break up with him

[ibotje]

I get what you're saying. Do you think you are going to do it in the end?

[Asker]

I dont wanna breakup but if i dont get some attention soon, i may have too :( i'll give us to the end of the summer to nake some progress

[ibotje]

okay, I wish you the best!

[ice66]

From the word go odds are stacked against any long distance relationship. Once again i would have to say complete honesty and a open line in comunication.

[Asker]

Okay 😔

[i_research]

Ho long is the distance?
It gets hard if he can't give time; but hard as in arguments happen. It's not hard to be faithful if you love him.

[Asker]

he's northern part of the country and im southern part. Basically a flights worth

[Lynx122]

It's pretty easy you just have to have the mindset that you're in a relationship. It shouldn't be hard unless you're not really committed or loyal.

[Asker]

I am but sometimes i feel like he's not as ready for this as he says.

[Lynx122]

Sure if you think he's not really paying attention to you then you can break up ^^ But just break up before you date someone else :P

[Asker]

Oh for sure. Thats all i ever asked my ex to do and he couldnt even do that

[madhatters4]

for dudes. keep it in your pants.
for girls. keep it out of your pants.

[Asker]

Lol sounds good

[madhatters4]

i know it's an oversimplification but is really that cut and dry. try to find ways to create intimacy without being in person (over the phone, via skype/video chat)

[Asker]

I mean i never aould cheat. It just makes me debate if we should breakup or not

[johnmichaei]

I understand but he has to use his imagination and his words to make you understand and feel for him that he's doing the same thing

[madhatters4]

well breaking up is a choice you can make and one plenty of people make to avoid a LDR. but if you really love this guy and the long distance is temporary i'd try to at least give it a shot

[Asker]

I love him but we'll be long distance til late 2019

[johnmichaei]

I think I'll let you carry on the conversation with this guy when you need my input you let me know

[madhatters4]

ouch that is a long time

[Robbie_Bennett]

take a world break. just turn off your phone and list out every great thing between the two of you

[Asker]

Awww i really like this 😍

[adamjanovic]

My sister and her boyfriend were in a long distance relationship for three years and they came through okay.

[Asker]

Dang thats great. Thats goals right there

[ferhanBlassed]

@adamjanovic I need your help. Please pm me.

[gaara87]

I'm in a 4 yr long distance relationship. here's how you stay faithful - either accept to have a open relationship until the distance is present or just flip your switch off every time you give into craving that attention

[Asker]

Lmao i told him that if we met someone who could offer what we offer each other or more then we should break up and give that person a chance. But then he said he'd be able to fall for them like he fell for me

[prins]

I believe that love is the test of faith. long distance relation is the best test to know our true love.

[Asker]

you're actualy right haha

[neoagent1]

Long distance relationships don't work. I've been in 2 and they both ended.

[Asker]

Yea i've been in more than two but it wasn't official like this time around

[lord_chilled]

sext with your partner, dont talk to people of opposite sex.

[Asker]

We already have phone sex and stuff but its hard because he and i both have friends of the opposite sex. We dont really hang with our own sex

[lord_chilled]

well your both gonna have to sacrifice some of that

[lord_chilled]

saw the uppie, and i think you should break up. just my opinion. you are still young, and you dont seem to be quite ready for an ldr yet. for what its worth , if i was him, id respect you for breaking up, before looking for a new partner. if you had cheated, i'd never talk to you again

[Asker]

Yea well i feel ready but he's the one not giving me the attention. Thus i dont feel encouraged

[lord_chilled]

i understand. well, its upto you

[vsbw14]

I'm in ldr ! I love my girl a lot ! she is kinda insecure about my behavior but I love her a lot !😂

[Asker]

What do you do that makes her insecure

[vsbw14]

flirting is in my blood! u know what I mean😂😉

[AleDeEurope]

I'm not a piece of shit, so the struggle doesn't exist.

[Asker]

Hey im not either. Im not going to cheat. Im just trying to figure out if i should stay in this relationship and continue struggling with distance or if i should breakup with him for someone who could offer the same but with a closer proximity.

[peachykeenjellybean]

you just have to make the choice

[Asker]

Yea you're right

[peachykeenjellybean]

I'm sorry there just isn't any better advice than that

[Bleepasaurus_RexEwww]

It's hard but it takes a lot of commitment

[Asker]

Yea it does

[Bleepasaurus_RexEwww]

Lmao I thought the question said how to keep a long distance relationship 🤦🏻‍♀️ Not cheating isn't hard... just don't cheat and if you're in a relationship with someone you like that shouldn't be hard

[Asker]

Yea its not hard. I mean im not gonna cheat. Its just hard cause i feel like someone in close proximity could give me more attention then he does. So it makes me wonder if we should break up

[Bleepasaurus_RexEwww]

Long distance relationships are hard and I'd never do one again

[Asker]

Yea if this doesn't work, im done

[Midget_Hug]

I guess I can't see the struggle.

[Asker]

Are you ldr too?

[Midget_Hug]

Been there with success.

[Asker]

So lucky. he's just not there for me like i need him to me. I've told him several times to fix it. If i tell him Monday to fix it, Tuesday he'll do just that, but by Wednesday he goes back to his old ways. Im tired of this rollercoaster

[Midget_Hug]

That's bad. I can see what you mean presuming what you're asking is within reason.

[Asker]

Like i dont want to cheat but i dont want to breakuo either cause he's the man of my dreams. I jus want him to cherish me more than he does other things in life. I feel like im come 4th or something

[Midget_Hug]

If you come forth he's not the man of your dreams.

[Asker]

Yea you're right

[Midget_Hug]

Bummer.

[nomadme]

are you in a long distance relationship?

[Asker]

Yes. Im not for cheating, but if he doesn't give me the attention that i need, i fear i may have to breakup with the man of my dreams just to avoid my possible future behavior being deemed "cheating"

[nomadme]

it happens in that kind of relationship cause one cannot really show what you have for the other, it will take something big to work in the long run, is there any chance of you two getting together soon?

[Asker]

Possibly by the end of next month. But no ones for sure cause neither of us have a car yet and we have strict families. So I don't know

[nomadme]

it is worth a try, you said yourself he's the man of your dreams, I'm sure you two will figure out something

[Asker]

Thanknyou

[Anonymous]

We stayed connected by video chat a lot !

[Asker]

Yea but i hate videochat. Im down for once a week, but I don't know. Maybe i should braven up and do it more. Then again, it just makes me miss him more 😭

[Anonymous]

LDR is really a waste of time.

[Asker]

Yea im trying not to think that way, but its so hard

[Opinion Owner]

It's next to impossible

[Opinion Owner]

You can give him deadline to meet you. If he manage to come then it's gonna be truthful and flourish. If not then move on

[Opinion Owner]

But that date should be enough for him to manage his things and come to you maybe at least 10 to 15 days or so?

[Opinion Owner]

It will help you to get an answer how seriously he takes you.

[Asker]

Yea i told him that if he's not here before August, i may can't do this. It definitely pushed him, so we should get to meet around the end of July. And if that goes well, we'll try to meet every Summer, Christmas, Valentines, and Spring Break.

[Opinion Owner]

Nice

[Dudeman1234]

Move closer

[Asker]

We will but it won't be til fall 2019 😔

[Dudeman1234]

Eww... that sucks. Hang in there

[rzvcam]

You don't. They never work. Grow up.

[yaBoii18]

dont have one in General