I have a LDR with my husband... but we also live together.
How does that work exactly?
Well, we knew each other growing up, so I already had a good solid read on the type of person he was and what his character was. So I knew he was an honest trustworthy guy. I had no reason to distrust him or worry that he might "cheat"... because I already knew he wasn't that type of person.
Although we live together, he is deployed 6 months every year for his job.
But we make it work by communicating every day. We set small goals that we participate in as a couple (like FaceTiming once a week, or sending pictures on "I Miss you Monday"). When you are constantly in communication, you are constantly growing together and we know about what each other is struggling with or succeeding in when we are apart.
To fill the sexual void, we just had to get creative. Making and sending our own photos/videos. Sexting. Solo sex toys. Etc...
At the end of the day, it's easy to be committed to a man who treats you like a queen. I literally wouldn't be satisfied by anyone else on the planet, because he is my best friend and gives me everything I need/want in life... and I do the same for him.
Relationships are about choices. Every choice you make should benefit the relationship before it benefits you as an individual. That's how successful ones work. You have to make those tough choices sometimes to do what's best for the other person, even when it's not ideal for you. But sometimes, doing what is ideal for you is actually doing what's best for the relationship. For example, allowing you time alone with your girlfriends does benefit you as an individual; thus, you are happier and can give more to the relationship than if you hadn't gone out and done something fun to lift your mood.
Just ask yourself "Is this the best choice to help our relationship grow in a positive direction?" If the answer is yes, carry on. If the answer is no, then stop.
"To fill the sexual void, we just had to get creative. Making and sending our own photos/videos. Sexting. Solo sex toys. Etc"
Y'know what, I find that this is EASIER when hubby and I are apart. When we're together all the time—especially now that we have kids—things can get humdrum, and we have to go the extra mile to spice them up.
When we're apart, though, everything is sexy. A couple little words make me weak in the knees, like they did when we first me. Both of us have more attention on each other. Etc. Also I'm very submissive, so I get off in a special way when he "directs" me on Skype calls.
Yeah I like when he throws me around in person, but there's a special delight in feeling that *power* he has... that he can just shoot me a look through a crappy video lens, from hundreds or thousands of miles away, and still have me literally on my knees, mouth open, awaiting his next command. Mmm.
In fact our relationship was a LDR for the first year. It worked out very very wel
Yes of course it is! Unless you are one of 'those' people who crave attention or sex all the time... then you don't deserve to be in a relationship to begin with... IF you honestly love the person you are with, then time and distance should be nothing. If anything, time and distance makes me think of my significant other more... makes me miss them and think of the good times we have shared and how I cannot wait to share them again. No, that is not only in a perfect world... just a world where people are selfLESS not selFISH.
It can work out if both partners are invested enough that their mental connection exceeds physical need. But I would say that if the chances of meeting up in the near future are close to nil, then don't get attached, because you will need the sexual component eventually. It just depends on whether you and your partner are OK with waiting and have established a trusting relationship.
I met my ex wife jan 10, 1989, went into the military Feb 14. I came home May 27 on a long weekend and proposed. I was in 13 months until I was able to get an early release in a troop reduction initiative. When you get out of basic training ANYONE can get laid. I had 4 women ask if I wanted to get a hotel room. I had 2 other women hand me a key and say they both wanted me to meet them. I turned every one down. Nothing makes you cheat on the person you love. If you cheat on them then you certainly do not love that person. If the relationship stays in tact depends on how committed you are. I also think it has to have a 'end date' to work. if your in a LDR then you need to know it is only going to be for a specific amount of time. otherwise why bother? if your not planning on moving in or getting married, or if neither of you are going to move close to the other, then why stay in the relationship because that will have no way to work out.
You need to define long distance relationship before you answer this question. What if it is just during college for 8 months a year? What if you see your SO during the semesters a few times as well as in summer?
Compare that to being thousands of miles away for years and infrequent visits.
These are fundamentally different long distance relationships. One is easier to deal with than the other.
I think it depends on the people, you have to want to make it work. I had a ldr and every time I saw a girl I just saw my girl. We texted , called each other every chance. We video chatted all day I mean sex is important but cheating because my woman is away isn't worth a girl I can have conversations about sports, who understands and puts up with me on a daily basis. I just can't do that to a great person who I'm connected with if it's like that we can just schedule a visit to see each other but again it depends on the people.
Long distance relationship is not a relationship. Nobody in their right mind wants one, but they have this sliver of hope that Perhaps it's going to work, after all, they have invested so much into their partner and can't "make it" without them.
I was in a similar situation almost a year ago. She was going to Italy to finish her degree, approx. 4 years if things go well. Also note that, I lived together with her for 2 years and they are hands down the best 2 years of my life, but she can't let a relationship hold her back in pursuing her goals, and let me tell you, she's an amitious one.
We didn't even start negotiations about a long distance bullshit, we both knew it wasn't going to work. Therefore, the answer is a simple No and anybody who believes otherwise is delusional. When you have an entire continent separating you from your loved one, it's never the same as it was when you lived together.
Here's one key critical element: never go into an LDR if you have recent baggage from leaving a previous LDR. By recent, I mean within the last three years. When everything you believed in came crashing down, your entire concept of faith was destroyed. Don't expect it to be there to catch you if you jump into a new LDR right away. Gotta re-learn what faith is, before you can have it and rely on it.
I have been in a long distance relationship for about 3 years and can without a doubt say that it is possible. Like any sort of intimate relationship the key is communication. If both people have the ability to freely communicate and have the solid base of trust, it really isn't that big of a problem.
I mean it doesn't matter if your long distance or not if someone is going to cheat their going to cheat either way. I was in a long distance relationship for two years and I know my ex didn't cheat on me he told me honestly he didn't even after months of after our break up. Distance can make it tempting but the distance won't always be permanent either.
I honestly don't see how it would be difficult unless one or both were not fully committed to the other person. In that case, it's best you get out. Someone who cheats is not worth a second chance. And if that individual is you, then have human decency and respect to break off the relationship.
For some it is possible. For others, like my ex-wife, the distance provides a safe avenue to have promiscuous sex with numerous men and to do other things that should only be done within the confines of the marital relationship and with the willing consent of both marital partners.(kinky sex acts)
It's certainly difficult, but you can make it work if you sext/webcam and stuff like that! Gotta stay interested in each other! I mean, if they're worth your time they'll stay faithful! They might be flirty with others from time to time but that's harmless!
It is possible but, why bother? I mean if you simply cannot have romantic relationships, you're shy, introverted or sth, and just stumbled on this ldr, it shouldn't be a problem to be loyal. If you can engage in romantic relationships, why bother with ldr when you can easily replace it?
My boyfriend and I live a 21 hour flight away from the other. We have lasted for more than a year. And it does work if the both of you are dedicated and trust each other completely. Also make sure to put out time together. After all, time is the biggest gift. Skype is a life saver in this situation. There has to be an end goal as well, other wise the time you sped together can't do much. But that's like with any type of dating. There should always be intent otherwise it's a simple waste of time.
I have a friend whose husband is a FIFO worker and I asked the same thing of her. She said that the key to her marriage lasting is that she preps some naughty videos on DVD for him so he can take his own sextape collection of her pleasuring herself. They also indulge in sexual webcams and when he gets home they spend a lot of intimate time together, experimenting sexually. She told me all of this on Skype whilst showing me her fabulous new breasts!
I've been in a SEXLESS long distance relationship for over a year and a half now. We are doing just fine, and we are looking forward to getting married.
It's perfectly possible. It takes self control, which apparently is in short supply these days.
Sincerely, Yes. Indeed, if you mean really a lot for the guy, he'll do everything to keep you and won't lie to you. Also, you'll be able to remain in contact via Skype and so on. The only thing missing would be the physical touch. However, you both can arrange something so as to take a week off only for you two guys to meet and catch up. It's gonna be really hard but love is sweeter. :)
I agree with a lot of people. It depends on the people involved. But fidelity plays a part in a lot of relationships and the person can live up the street. Its just more effort for a long long-distance relationship.
I voted A because your question was "Is it possible" . If anyone Votes B then they are kind of silly. To say it is impossible would just be ridiculous.
It is possible, though not very common. I was in a long distance relationship and was faithful throughout. He however, was not faithful. That tends to be the case, the girl is faithful while the guy is not. Not always, but mostly.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
It's a perfect test to see if there's ACTUAL love and respect in a relationship, because if you truly love and respect someone, you won't be unfaithful because nobody else will interest you. If you DO cheat, then it wasn't real love at all.
absolutely, with skyping these days. OMG!!! more erotic than real sex sometimes. Keep ur imaginations open and feel free with a camera. I've found it quite satisfying myself.
I don't think it is at all. Unless you're in a perfect situation with no temptations and a really low sex drive. Or if the distance is temporary or you visit each other frequently.
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