My sister doesn't like my boyfriend. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

So we're with my boyfriend already 7 months together and she still doesn't like him. Whenever I ask her if my boyfriend could come even for a short time but she says no. And if I ask her why. She only says that she doesn't like him. Sometimes I invite him over and don't care about her opinion. Sometimes they talk like friends but another times she ignores him, go to another room and watch videos on her phone. My mum said she just doesn't like him because we're not doing anything with her. But that's not true. We play board games with her, try to talk to her, he often shows her what music he likes and she has the same taste. Sometimes I find them similar.

Now she's not even saying hi to him. Unless he's with dog. Dog changes everything.

Is there anything I can do?

She's 12.

I think she will grow up, have her own boyfriend and will understand. But I'm heartbroken right now. From very early days we were always together, making fun of our cousin together, everything we did together. And now sometimes she even doesn't want to talk to me. Help?

[samhradh_leannan]

A relationship changes things. I've tried to be mindful of that with my own younger sister (who doesn't date yet). I never want her to feel like she is no longer important to me.

But it sounds like you are already doing a good job of trying to include your sister and consider her feelings. And that's really all you can do. She shouldn't expect you to break up with your boyfriend just because she doesn't like him. You could try talking to her again, and ask her why she doesn't like him, what you can do to make her feel better, etc. Maybe seeing how much you still care about her will help her come to terms with things.

[Asker]

Thank you so much ♡

[samhradh_leannan]

No problem. Good luck! You're on the right track.

[btbc92]

She is a minor but not really a child. Her having a boyfriend one day will not change her opinion. If she doesn't like him, she doesn't like him. And you will have to respect that. She doesn't want any part of what is going on with you. Maybe she senses certain things not correct with him and your blind. She probably knows you're going to get hurt, so she rather avoid to not deal with the drama since it will directly affect her. That's what I would do, and I don't blame her one bit.

[Asker]

I'm not blaming her too. But she never liked any of my boyfriends. Why is that?
He is not perfect, but she isn't too. I think she has to have at least little respect like he has for her.
I'm not telling her to love him. Just a little friendliness.

[btbc92]

Because your taste in guys is terrible and she knows it too. It's not about whose perfect, it's about you keep making the same mistakes and she's tired of it. She doesn't want to get attached.

[btbc92]

You have to remember that she has already developed into her own person. Her thoughts and feelings have shaped who she is. She isn't changing anytime soon. Even when she gets older, her opinion on who you date won't change. It's best not to push it on her. If she doesn't want to, then she doesn't want to. Trust me, if she ever ends up in a relationship, there is a good chance you may not look who she wants to be with also.

[Asker]

First of all you don't know him. And he's a nice guy. So no, my taste is not terrible.
But whatever. It's your opinion.

[btbc92]

I'm not talking about your boyfriend directly. I'm only translating what you're not getting with your sister. She doesn't care. If she thinks he was right for you, she wouldn't keep behaving like this. You have to accept this. This is never going to change. This may even impact how you two will view each other for good.

[LucidxDreams]

She probably jealous that your spending more time with him and he taking you away from her. Just let her be, spend time with her alone rather having your boyfriend tag along after boyfriend come and goes however your sister is there forever till she grows up. So cherish the time you have to together, even if it sounds immature but she just wants to spend time with you without having an audience to watch.

[Asker]

But sge said go meet him at his place, not here. And she's now always on her phone. So I can't even do anything with her. She comes from school, eats, do homework and goes to watch something on her phone. I don't think she likes me anymore

[LucidxDreams]

She probably doesn't want to see you guys pda and feels like the third wheel. So rather, than just guessing, ask how she really feels and why she avoiding you, otherwise you won't know. Communication is the key.

[Asker]

I know, but she doesn't talk to me. I already asked her why she don't like this and we always end up being both annoyed. But I think I can try.

[Asker]

And thank you!!

[LucidxDreams]

You're welcome, hope things work out for the you and your sister.

[Unit1]

"and don't care about her opinion."

Then there are no issues.

"From very early days we were always together, making fun of our cousin together, everything we did together. And now sometimes she even doesn't want to talk to me. Help?"

I can't tolerate a two-sided face, who turns things around like that.
I'd learn to not rely and care about such persons anymore. I personally isolate myself from such tricksters and potential treachery.

[Asker]

What do you mean?
Turn from my sister or you would turn from me if you were my sister?

[Unit1]

I'm giving you advise since you're the asker, so you turn from those, who stand in your way.

[BlackViking357]

It seems that even though you do not care about your family members opinion, you do care. Here's the thing, what REALLY matters is your opinion. It's YOUR life and you can choose you associate yourself with. Do not let them be the reason you and your boyfriend can not get along. Sooner or later, your family is going to accept your boyfriend whether they like it or not.

[Whatthefluff]

She's only 12. And I'm sorry to be a "party pooper", but you will probably break up with your boyfriend within a year, anyway. It's just a phase. She will get over it.

[Asker]

Okay. So if I'll break up with him. I get another one. And she'll hate this one too. What's next?

[Whatthefluff]

I'm not saying that you should throw your love away. I'm saying that she will not be upset forever.

[Asker]

She was mad and not nice to all of my boyfriends. When is it going to stop? She even waits when I'll move out.

[Whatthefluff]

She's only 12. Chances are that she'll still live with you for a couple more years, depending on your age and wants.
Maybe try to see yourself in her shoes. Maybe she wants to spend more quality time with just you.

[nevermoregirl7]

I am going to guess you guys have a pretty tight relationship, which isn't all bad. But with younger siblings, they tend to want their family their way. You need to introduce him more like family than just your boyfriend. My sister is younger than yours, and she actually does pretty great with the rest of our SO's. I would like to think it's because she is included in dates like to the beach or to little events. Family fun activities, basically.

[Asker]

But he's not quite my family. And it's a bit hard to introduce him as another person. She can understand all the situation. But seems like she just don't want to be with us at all. She is only waiting when I'll get out of my mother's house so she could take all our room.

[nevermoregirl7]

Don't literally do that. lol. I should of said treat him like he is family. Like include him in family dinners and holidays. And maybe she is just going through her own thing as a pre-teen? Ever talk to her about how she is doing in school or anything?

[Asker]

That's the problem
She doesn't want to go anywhere he is going. When I announce that he'll join any holiday or any meeting, she's like "oh no. Not him again...".
Yeah. We talk about het school. But she never says too much. I just know that she says she doesn't have true friends and she doesn't like a lot of teachers. She said she's going through some stressful days but this hasn't been for a while. Maybe like a few weeks.
But I thought about it, that she is just going through her rough teen days. May be. Thank you 🙂

[nevermoregirl7]

Yeah, lol. I wouldn't take it too personally. And maybe just you and your boyfriend bring her like an ice cream or something next time y'all go out. Might help a little.

[Asker]

Yeah, okay 😃

[Giirrrll]

You've got to somehow talk to her and take the time to understand and hear her why she doesn't like your boyfriend. Then, you could hopefully fix it from there. There's obviously some reason why she's acting this way. Maybe she's jealous? She probably misses those memories too.

[Jaye234]

It's ok, she doesn't have to like him and she may never like him. Sometimes we don't like someone just because.

[Asker]

Understandable. She never liked any of my boyfriends...

[Jaye234]

She may feel like they're taking you away from her- a tad hurt and jealous.
My older cousin started dating a guy and married him and I remember being upset and jealous. She was a lot older than me and she took me everywhere she went. But after she told me that she'll still have time for me, I was sort of ok with it. I was 10 and she was 25

[Asker]

Oh. May be. Thank you

[Izumiblu]

You sister shouldn't be choosing your boyfriend or who can come over. She's entitled to her opinion for whatever that's worth from a 12 year old... and you should listen to what she has to say once. But after you've decided then its discussion over. And your mom is kinda fucked up to expect your boyfriend to entertain your sister.

[RoxyGlitter]

Just let it be, I didn't like some of my sister's boyfriends (I don't even like her current one. Unless she has a reason to be mad or jealous of your boyfriend (I don't just mean hanging out), don't let it bother you. She may come around.

[Asker]

But that bothers me. We're not talking the same or sometimes not even talking at all. She has no friends and pushes away family members...

[RoxyGlitter]

Hm, have a nice chat with her to see what's bothering her and see what you can do to make it less in tence,

[Asker]

Thank you!

[RoxyGlitter]

No problem hun, I wish you luck.

[AlphaGhost]

This will change one day cuz you are not going to have sex together at-least. She is just kid Ignore her,
But like you mention dog changes everything so you can use this leverage or simply tell your boyfriend "She is like this".

[Insanyx12]

My sister tried to kill me with a kitchen knife on multiple occasions consider yourself lucky

[hornymike6969]

tell her get over it you don't have to sleep with him

[Blackfists]

Lol am I the only one who had a sister who would be extra rude to me for no goddamn reason?

[Asker]

Sometimes happens. Mine's rude even we're just two home alone. Like she's trying to provoke me to be angry on her.

[Asker]

Not nice huh

[Blackfists]

Nah, for me it's like this... I don't talk to her often... When I do, she replies with "you don't have to speak" or "shut up".

[Asker]

Oh. Feel sorry for you. Even worse situation

[Robsinsf53]

Tell her that's all right, she don't have to.

[mlggamer]

I don't have a sibling but you will be fine just lock yourselves in your room

[Intraluminal]

Tell her not date him. Problem solved!

[Anonymous]

It doesn't matter. As long as you like her

[Asker]

It does matter to me.

[lMike]

Lol she's a child... Tell her to get over it...

[Anonymous]

have her sleep with him and then let her decided.

[Opinion Owner]

ahh sorry she is 12

[Anonymous]

Just accept that fact