My boyfriend lied to me about how many girls he slept with?

[Revenano]

When we first started dating, he told me a number. Throughout our relationship I found out about one or two more on my own, but the one that bothers me most he told me on his own. He said he lied and it's really more than what he told me. We'll call her C. C is his ex girlfriend who I specifically asked if he had slept with. He always said no. I asked because I felt weird about their friendship. Whenever he saw her he would greet her really enthusiastically, like she was his best friend. He would message her asking for rides occasionally, and sometimes just to send her a forward. That was fine because I didn't know he actually lied to me. Now, talking to her may not seem like a big deal to a lot of people, and it's not. But in my relationship, we don't have any contact with anyone we've had sexual feelings for or sexual contact with. It's just easier that way and less stressful having to worry about whether or not those feelings are still there. Anyway, when he told me the truth I asked him 3 different times why he lied. The first day, he said he didn't want me to think he was some sort of hoe. The next time I asked, he said he lied because he didn't take our relationship seriously at that time and didn't think it mattered. The third time I asked, he said because he still wanted to use her for rides when he had no way to get one. That included rides to and from my apartment, to his house, etc. That made no sense seeing as I had a car at the time and could pick him up whenever he needed. I brought that up and he gave me some long answer that I forgot. The last time I tried to get a straight answer, he blew up on me, yelling at me to just drop it. What I don't get is why he got a mad. I know they don't talk anymore. She's blocked on his Facebook and he doesn't even have a phone anymore. It's still bothering me so much. Help!

Updates

+1 y

Edit: I'm not considering leaving him I wanna know why he is behaving this way. Honestly, I don't really care about past lovers, I care that he lied.

[GD247]

I totally understand. It would bother me too. Amd its normal.

Have you guys established honesty and communication into the relationship?

I always try to be straightforward with my guy. From the start I told him I wanted open communication. No lies. Just talk and as long as you both communicate about problems it makes the relationship a little more smoother.

I didn't like that he lied to you in the first place. But just talk to him some day. Dont scare him either. Just be honest and light. Dont text him "we need to talk" just ask him to hang out and then when you meet up, say "I know I brought this up but I just want to be open with you."
Tell him that it made you uncomfortable that he lied to you and that you just want honesty. No lying in the relationship. Both of you should be straightforward.

Another thing is how much it would matter to you that he slept with however much number of girls. Do you mind? Is it jealousy or do you just not like the idea for another reason? Its fine for whatever it is. But if you're jealous, just tell him. If he cares, he will comfort you. If he doesn't, leave him cause that's not okay.

He got pissed because you mentioned it more than once. It just annoyed him cause its repetitive. But thats not entirely your fault either. He gave you different reasons and a reason to not trust him. Partners should be open.

As long as she is blocked and has no contact with her, dint sorry about her. You shouldn't have to bring her up again unless she's in the picture again. At that point let him know you're uncomfortable and just want to know the relationship between them. If you suspect (not guessing. But you see red flags that he may be chesting) then confront him (and slowly gain evidence). you may leave whenever you feel there's no trust established.

I would also ask him about how he feels about the relationship now. he said he didn't take it seriously at first. Just let him know what you want out of the relationship and see what he wants. if they don't match up, leave.

Thats my intake

[Moonchild714]

You never ask how sex or who they are unless you can handle the truth!!! You especially Don't go looking for those answers. Everyone lies about how many sex partners they've had some embellish to feel (usually men) more masculine, most say much fewer because they don't want to be judged!!! Now if they are friends with someone they slept with they don't want you to feel insecure. You kept asking him until he blew up about it. How would you like it if he asked you something and you gave him an answer but he kept asking over and over, you wouldn't like it. He wasn't going to tell you the whole truth because he knew you couldn't handle it. You say you don't care about his past partners but you went looking on your own, who's lying here? You wouldn't have went further into it and kept badgering him if you didn't care about his past relationships. You brought it up you have to ACCEPT his answers that you forced when snooping around!!! If you can't accept his answers then maybe you need to move on...

[AwesomeCookie]

Ok, my opinion why he blew up, cause it's annoying and frustrating. I would be highly annoyed if someone asked me again and again. My thought on asking a number, not a question one should ask you may be disappointed to later find out it's not correct... And if you're going to be in a relationship with him, at that point does it really matter? His relationship with her should be discussed but not used against him even if they've slept together. It can be viewed as highly immature. But if there is a mutual agreement to not having friendships with people you've slept with then you should consider discussing this further with him if it's bothering you. As to lying, a lot of speculations can be made, but there are no excuses to lying.

[Hyped_up_on_coffee]

He came clean about lying and he already explained it so I would leave it alone. He already told you he didn’t wanna come off as a hoe and he wasn’t too serious at first. It’s not that he is in love with his ex but she is probably just a friend so he lied about it. I would probably wouldn’t want an SO to find out I had sex with a friend either. And sometimes people lie to keep the peace. So let it breath , get some space and if you wanna revisit it just talk to him about your feeling rather than to confront him about whatever you think the truth is.,

[Blackwolf82]

It’s a tough question and I’m not trying to defend him but here’s my POV. Were you honest with your number? He said he lied because he didn’t want you to have a bad opinion of him. Now here’s my issue. You asked 3 more times. Either you don’t trust him so just end it, or you do trust him so stop asking. Twice he gave you an answer and you must not have liked the answer so you asked again and he blew up. Now he has to give you a reason when you ask a fourth and fifth time. He lied and I’m sure he’s sorry about it, but if you keep asking, you’re only really poisoning your own relationship. Let the issue go or let him go.

[mrirkre4y4u]

Get outa there. you know he's gonna lie again. He has admityrf he has it in him to use s girl for his own gain so he will eventually if not already useyou

[potatoisme]

Anyone who lied to you about his past / tried to hide, doesn t deserve your time or love anymore. If someone lies to me I can never trust that person again. I'll always have this doubt and suspicion towards them. It won't matter anymore what the truth is or whether or not they still have feelings for me or if their feelings are genuine. The lie itself proves a lot to me.

[HANAZAWA]

Please, just let it go. You are stressing him out so he got angry. Your persistent questioning does not sit well with him. His reasoning does not sit well with you. It will not benefit you and your relationship in anyway if this goes on. Everyone lies at least once in their lifetime whether they choose to admit or not, not just him. No one is a saint. Forgive him.

[Izumiblu]

Well you put an ultimatum on him.

You expected him to get rid of his friend because he had previously slept with her. Your intent on asking him about who he slept with was to determine which people you would allow him to be friends with.

Him knowing this he decided he would rather lie to you and keep a friend than tell you the truth and have you make him get rid of her.

[Anonymous]

If you don't want to leave him, you need to let it go. If you continue to nag at him he will probably get fed up and leave you. Who cares who he had sex with before you? As long as he's clean and has no hidden kids, it doesn't really have anything to do with you. Most people lie about their number. I hear about it often. Seriously, let it go or let him go.

[Joker22]

Just forget it and keep observing and when you see some solid proof that there is something between them you can get angry and do whatever you want but now there is no reason

[jakeforfun]

He's gonna keep on lying, and worse. You've been warned. you know the reality. You just don't want to admit it. He sucks (not in a good way).

[Anonymous]

I think its normal for people to lie about there "number " often guys try and claim they slept with more girls than the real number , often girls try and claim its lower than it really is

[xButterflyKisses87x]

Should be honest at all times, so its not normal... I have never lied about my count and won't start

[Philyouup]

I say who cares about past lovers unless it has to do with health. Put lying about it, to your lover. is disrespectful as worst and misguided at best.

[nickdell]

It could be he considered her a friend. Your obsessive badgering finally upset him to the point of having absolutely no contact with her.
He did that for you. I suggest until you have substantial reason to question him on it you let it go

[Ehdayb]

He is behaving this way because he loves you and don't want to lose you, you should be happy

[HUNGxAF]

Maybe he didn't want to seem sleezy. I know if I had a girl who had only been with 1 or 2 other guys I wouldn't want to tell her I've been with 20 plus

[Mojo387]

He probably blew up because no oneijes being asked the same question 4 times

[Mr-Kabuki]

he doesn't want to seem like a player and a bad man

[red07net]

i alwasys do , many chicks think they took my virginity

[stonerboner]

Shouldn't be asking about ex's and how many, etc. Just leads to bad places.

[RichardBandit]

You have zero self esteem. He is going to dump u soon.

[Revenano]

😂😂 okay then

[jiothecat]

He lied be cause he is a douche bag. But a, loveable one

[hahahmm]

He was banging CC while dating you.

[0rayz]

Leave him, he's still in love with her