Why did my boyfriend lie to me about what he was doing?

[Anonymous]

This past weekend my bfriend told me he was going to a ‘kids party’ with his 6 year old daughter he shares with his ex. Fast forward a few days later im scrolling through my social media and a photo of him at what appears to be a farm pops up. It’s not on his profile (we don’t follow each other at all by his request) but a community farm page that I follow. I click the link and look at all the other photos they’ve posted and it turns out he was not at a kids party or with his daughter at all but met with a whole group of people he’s never mentioned to me before to work on this little farm planting seeds for some event. I ask him about it and he says he ‘ran into them coincidentally while dropping his daughter off at a house next door and they asked him to join them at the last minute. So I asked why he didn’t mention anything at all about this? In fact I remember when he got home he told me he was too tired to do anything because he was playing with kids the whole time at ‘the kids party with his daughter’. All he actually did was drop her off and then join this group on the farm. A lot of the photos were of him next to or talking/laughing with the same attractive woman. When I brought that up and he got angry and told me he didn’t mention it at all because he knew I’d overreact. What would you do?

[btbc92]

Like the other user said. Dump the guy. This person did more than lying. What he did was that he betrayed not only your trust, the daughter was used as a way for him to get away with his lying, and he's not being authentic. If he was really that tired, and he wanted to have a change of plans, why is it so difficult for him to just simply tell you? Even if you reacted badly, at least he told you the truth. He didn't have to lie about him going to where he was going. And to be honest if he doesn't want you to have a connection with him on social media but meanwhile he can lie to you about other things, And you had to find this out on social media other than his own profile. He lies to you regarding it because he wants to be fooling around. He wants to know why he is a single father, In that position, it's on him. He's the one that has to deal with that and the 1 that's suffering is his daughter.

This is why I say that it is not smart for people especially who have children to be dating and they cannot be responsible, but they wantderful around any one to date as if they are single. It is very clear that the top reason why he doesn't have you on his profile, so that way others won't know that he is dating you. And so he can talk to other people while he's in a relationship with you. While he's also putting his daughter elsewhere so he can fool around. That's not fair on you or his daughter.

[Asker]

I feel sorry for his daughter. He only sees her one day a week even though the agreement with his ex is that he can see her whenever he wants to. I remember when he was leaving he told me he'd be back in an hour and I thought to myself why isn't he staying with her longer but I don't tell him what he should and shouldn't do when it comes to his child. So I was happy when he actually didn't come home for several hours thinking he was spending quality time with her. And then I see that bs on social media. I do think he's telling the truth when he says it wasn't planned and he just ran into them but I also think he ditched his daughter to spend time with a group of mostly very attractive women and lied to me about because he knew he was up to no good.
I can't trust him now. Every time he says he's going to see his daughter I'll wonder if that's what he's really doing. He also told me that he was going to tell me about this group because they invited him to join them on other farm projects and he's definitely going to start doing that. here's a guy who doesn't like doing outdoor things. I asked him 15 times to help me with my yard and creating a garden (we live together) and nothing. I can barely get him to go on a hike or do any outdoor 'nature' activities with me more than once a year and now he's going to join a farm club?

[btbc92]

Asker, one thing I had to learn and is still in a way learning is not making excuses for people's behavior. He is a man who wants to act like he is not involved. This is why he has a problem with the arrangement between his ex and his child. Because of the same PROBLEM. His priority should be with his daughter, and if he cannot deal with a serious relationship, which is clear he cannot, then he should at least tell you that, and not put himself in such positions. This is how people end up in trouble. To be honest, it is very possible he is not doing what he says he is. And this is enough to cause a lot of trust issues. This is why you do not live together with people your not legally married to. This should not be for more than a year. He is not yet a man, he is still a child wanting to do other things. Nothing wrong with wanting to hang out, destress, etc. But he is wrong and he doesn't take responsibility for his priorities in life. That is why you don't have sex before marriage, why you do not just date anyone or shack up either.

[sage2021]

He lied because he didn't want to tell you the real truth. He is not going to tell you he was with someone else. I have caught my man red-handed with things I found in his apartment that proved to me that he had someone else in his bed. I even show him the evidence and he still lies about it. It literally made me sick to my stomach when I found the evidence. Made me even sicker to know for sure he was cheating on me 💔

[exitseven]

I would check out what that farm is all about. It sounds sketchy to me.

[exitseven]

Thank you for the MHO

[spartan55]

He should dump you. You are probably up his ass about everything, including shit made up in your head.
That's why he didn't tell you.

[slatyb]

Dump his lying ass.

[Anonymous]

Cheater. Lies.