Why do women find it so hard to approach a man? Swexist to think men have to make all the choices

[Reiki_Z]

as if that guy hasent been a dbag his entire life and maybe he has been hurt and rejected over the years growing up in life(due to deprssion and finding compfort in food) thus becoming shy and falling in love with women but has only been seen as a best friend to women,

and she as the women has more control over her wants and needs it would be more suitable if the women could just take control and take what she wants(as I'm sure many women do) although I have personally have never been picked, as a open choice(open book, readme)

and I find it very sexist that women expect that a guy good looking or not must know what he's doing when it comes to approaching a random girl he catches and eye with. I mean IF we can both feel it we have feelings, and as a man speaking I would find the ice to be broken easier if the women started the conversation cause the man would know definitly that he has a chance I mean more then just body language, seriously women you have the power and any of us would be (luckyhappy) to be taken home by a Godess or a strong women...as men I say we are here to serve you.

we are the angels and you are the gods(godess)however you please

what do you think Ladies ?

[TimeAndTimeAgain]

OK, the first thing you have to understand, is that girls are complicated. We're simple, in the sense that we can tell what we want by just looking at someone and seeing if they're attractive or not. We are a lot less picky about personality, because what REALLY attracts us isn't their personality. To some, this might seem kind of shallow, but it's actually not. You will see that women do the exact same thing, except instead of noticing the way a guy looks, they judge him based on his personality, attitude, status, and a bunch of other things that have nothing to do with how physically attractive he is.

Because girls aren't as attracted to the opposite sex PHYSICALLY, the only way they REALLY feel attracted to someone, is after they get to know them, OR know something ABOUT them that makes them "special".

For example - guys in bands. FAMOUS bands, that is. You will notice that for every famous band, there are a bunch of girls behind yelling how hot they think the band members are, and going crazy. To a guy, it seems as though they're saying they think he LOOKS hot. And some girls might even believe that's the case! Because the truth is, attraction for women is a lot more subconscious than they're willing to admit. The REAL reason why they think the band members are "hot", is simply because... they're in a band, and they're famous, and are "above" average guys.

So you see, girls are JUST as shallow - if not more - than guys are. Except it's not about physical attraction - it's everything else.

Now why the hell am I telling you this? Well it's simple - for girls, it's a lot more attractive if YOU are the one to go and ask them. If they have to come to you and ask you out, it's kinda unattractive, and they won't really see you as the guy they want to be with anymore. It sounds stupid, but that's the sad truth.

Also, you say women have the power - you're wrong. No one has the power here. Just because women get a lot of guys asking them out, doesn't mean all of those guys are worth it. To us, it seems like being a woman is easy, but the fact is when we look at a woman, what we mainly want is sex. We assume women want sex just as much as we do, but we're wrong - they want more. They want someone who will stick by and not just leave after a while. And chances are 9/10 guys who ask her out aren't gonna be that kind of guy.

Some girls are more open-minded about this. I'd say "smarter", but that would mean I'm saying everyone else is stupid. But we can't blame them for being like this. It's only natural. Anyways, what some girls will do is not ask you out. Rather, they'll give you hints that they're into you, so you can then ask them out.

Or hey, you can just sit still and wait for a girl to ask you out. It's happened to me, but I seriously wouldn't count on it. The way I see it, I was the only "decent" guy for her to pick anyway. :p

[Reiki_Z]

They are shallow about everything too

but still as a man its sexist to think we have to all the choice making

but I'm attracted to all types not just good looking ones its just like a range or scale of love

and personality to me matters

however some girls are attracted to the physical and those could just walk up and grab you by the balls (not technically ) then fall in love with your personality later

and they do have the power cause they have the love I like and they know that so they abuse it

[TimeAndTimeAgain]

They abuse it because you let them. Smarten up and stop letting them abuse it.

[Reiki_Z]

Its not just me I'm talking about all women abuse there power

i know if I was a women id go right up to a cute guy ( all types of cuties) and let them no

if they took me for granted id leave simple

but girls like to be lazy

[TimeAndTimeAgain]

Dude! xD You making me laugh, here. Do you not realize what you're saying? "If I was a woman"... LOL

Why don't you go do that AS A GUY?! Go right up to a cute girl, and let them know you think they're cute. If they take you for granted, just leave! It's SIMPLE, isn't it?

You don't have to be a girl to do it - you can do it as a guy, too. And the beauty of it, is that unless the girl wants to look like a TOTAL bitch, she will at least consider your effort.

[Reiki_Z]

Good point ! haha

[toulouse]

If guys are slated to be asker*- would means girls can't really choose because they can only chose what's offered & it might be all sea weed& plankton. If she does like a guy, approaches him,& guys are brainwashed to thinking its THEIR job> eww desperate! She talked to me! She wants me! She wants my babies whhhaaaaaa!

So, its really a rather bad set up.

Wouldn't the world be nicer if people respected people as people first& learnt about the person-per person instead of deferring to genitalia.

[Reiki_Z]

its true to say that SOME men would assume such hasty things

but most true gentlemen wouldn't mind a caller

and I see what your saying what if the only thing that approaches this girl is lame os with heads up there asses ha ha

but girls have more options then they really know

most guys would just love any girl if they came up to them

[MrVashMan]

I know I'm intimidated by women. It really isn't a matter of who I think would win in a bare-knuckle boxing match: me or her. If that were the case, they wouldn't intimidate me. XD My first and only long-term girlfriend ASKED ME to homecoming. Much later, another girl ASKED ME to go to prom with her. Well, TWO girls did that that year, I had to unfortunately turn one of them down. A lot of women end up with douchebag boyfriends because those douchebags don't really value women like they do their bros, and they see them as game pieces or personal challenges. Therefore, they aren't intimidated by them and have no problem whatsoever making the first move.. When we say that women intimidate us, you women should feel good about that. It means that we value who you are, but we are intimidated by the fact that who you are is still a mystery to us. It means that you're important to us, and that you have a certain extent of power over us BECAUSE you are important to us. Do you understand? We don't just acknowledge your presence... We are INTIMIDATED by your very presence! It's a high form of flattery that many of us can't help.

[Reiki_Z]

very well put

they are so important so we don't wanna not let you down

expectations are a fickle bitch

we don't know how you might like our approach sometimes we come on too strong or too soft

but for you (females) it would be easier cause most men don't ever get asked

[Ramalama]

I think that's the sweetest answer I've ever read. If guys were more expressive, I think women would have no problem approaching them. You must forget your sometimes a mystery to us too!

[alice4hatter]

I disagree just from personal experience that when a woman asks a guy she is then considered too anxious or needy or too blunt or even that just asking seems like she is chasing. Its a double edged sword for both men and women to ask the opposite sex out.

[AngelofdaFallen]

I'm what you'd call a pretty large man, 6' 280lbs (I look like a bodybuilder in off season). I stare even larger men down but women intidate me. Its just like you said. I can't put it any better than you did, Mr. Vashman.

The problem is I care too much about their acceptance that I fear their answer to my approach.

But I've also heard I'm very intimidating(big surprise), yet it has rarely crossed my mind that any woman could be intimidated by me because I so intimidated by them.

[CuddlyCarla]

Gender roles can advance all they want, we still live in a patriarchal society where men hold the most societal power and men are (and will always be) the dominant species due to their genetic size and strength. Thus, there will always be an expectation for them to be powerful and assert themselves. Each gender has its inherent biological expectations we all have to deal with and pros and cons, just as women will always be expected to be caretakers. Women are biologically drawn to men who are dominant, as it is a cavewoman throwback and a man who displays assertiveness and dominance would make a better protector and thus a more viable option. This is why the 'nice' guy finishes last, not because he is nice, but because he isn't assertive. As for your other comments, I see that you've been through things in your life, but so has everyone. It's not an excuse to not pursue what you want directly. I'm not saying men should be the sole people to do this, women should feel that freedom as well. Women do NOT have more control over their wants and needs, if anything they are emotionally driven and this makes it difficult for them to have that sort of control. We are no more disciplined in finding our needs and wants than you are. It sounds like you are stereotyping the entire female species because you had some bad experiences. You are never going to find what you are looking for if you don't let go of your judgment. I can always reverse your argument and say I've known plenty of men who won't even talk to a woman if she doesn't look a certain way, but I know that's not true of all males. It goes both ways. Honestly, men of every level of physical attractiveness have found women eventually. Just take note when you go out in public, I'm sure you'll find that's true so obviously women aren't solely superficial. They have as much of an ability to see past as anyone else.

[Reiki_Z]

very true

but as the women has the power to create life she should be also have the power to choose who she creates life with

i didn't mean to sound like I was stereotyping all females I just said that most of them don't mind not choosing cause its typical for them to be approached if not by a nice guy then a dominant man will approach them, so it seems to me that like the idea of oh well there's always gonna be another man to come to me and it gives them the upper hand, most men are assholes tho

[toulouse]

I'm not choosing sides , I don't think this is a competition. But while on the subject- I think being ale to bring life into this world is a bit high up there on the scale of things.

[Temporary37]

I think this chick just likes to pi$$ people off. There is no shortage of hatred in the world Carla,thank you for your contribution.

[stinkyjohnson]

What you are saying has no scientific basis whatsoever. As a matter of fact you are contradicting every major anthropological assertion of the modern era. I would recommend some good reading for you but something tells me you wouldn't be interested.

[scar1]

in the us women have all the power

[luvpudding]

What you're saying is quite difference than the scientific evidence at hand. Stick to the astrology page!

[busterhimen]

*DUMB*

[Anonymous]

I don't think noting that (generally) there are differences between genders is sexist. generally speaking if a man is interested in a woman he will either make it obvious or ask her out. that's if he's confident. I'm not looking for the kind of guy that doesn't have confidence and a guy that I have to lead around like a puppy dog. I want a man that is dominant and confident and those are the types of men that usually approach women. I don't think its in a woman's place to ask a man out, it just makes her look kinda aggressive and can make it easy for her to get played by a guy that's not really into her but only said yes because he asked her. I really think you're trying to manipulate this "sexist" thing because you're shy and not confident around women so you want them to ask you out. not dissing you or anything, but its obvious that you have little confidence and that's not the type of guy I'm looking for. and coincidentally that's usually the types of guys that can't ask women out.

[Reiki_Z]

Womans place?

haha it is sexist

trying to say a women has a certain place where man must come to her like it can't be a mutual thing

i just think society made it seem like a women shudnt but I wouldn't risk letting someong get away if I had confidence which I guess I don't have that much ha ha or I can't pick between two and that stops me too

[TimeAndTimeAgain]

This is the exact kind of woman I was talking about in my article. They're just not attracted to it. However they making the mistake of assuming that just because a guy doesn't approach women, it means he has confidence issue. That's not the case.

Besides, confidence can be given. It's not our fault if we don't have confidence - it's something that is created by others around us while we're growing up. Kids who are popular will grow up to be more confident than others.

[Opinion Owner]

It may not be your fault, but its not my job to give you confidence. I wasn't popular at all by a long shot but I worked on myself and got over it. you don't have to wallow in the fact that you werent the cool kid growing up. its not about society, its the fact that I like dominant men who aren't afraid to be proactive and go after what they want. if its sexist oh well that's just how I feel. a woman can't be a man and a man can't be a woman. there's just certain roles both sexes have

[Reiki_Z]

Roles created from years of suppression by men to be the subserviant one

and I don't belive that it should be let me wallow in the fact that you werent cool but maybe it should be that you just don't wanna let this one get away because maybe he just isn't there yet, its not like I'm asking women to go up to a dude and say hey man your good enough for me so try

but hey I seen you I felt you and I think it would be nice if we became friends and got to know eachother

[lucius46ad]

Ill bet you date some real winners 2. No wonder men are so cynical.

[Opinion Owner]

Lucius, have fun with all the spineless socially awkward grown men who are still afraid to talk to the opposite sex, I bet that's real fun. hows your sex life? bet it sucks

[lucius46ad]

That is so narrow minded. Men can still be confident and successful. Just because someone is shy with women doesn't mean they can't succeed in the other areas of life. I guess the more I read these ignorant comments the more I understand why there is so much unhappiness in the world. Keep up the cynical attitudes girls. You'll be alone forever.

[Reiki_Z]

Open minded people are good

shy guys aren't afraid to talk to the oppisite sex they are just afraid to apporach a stranger

once you know each other its all smooth from there

[lucius46ad]

It takes considerable ignorance to equate courage, initiative and overall ambition with one's shyness with the opposite sex. God help the guy who gets stuck with you

[lucius46ad]

$hit, that's pretty simple minded. Doesn't that narrow the options for you as well. Do you assume every guy has to notice you and want you too? When you grow up you'll know what I'm talking about.

[Temporary37]

Soooo ... guys are just buzzing all over you eye? How long does it take them to figure out you have a fu(ked personality? Wow! Some chicks are a bigger gross-out than any guys!

[Temporary37]

And every guy in creation is probably beating a path to your door so they can date you and your condescending, snotty, low life attitude. Once guys figure out what you're all about, they will avoid you like the clapp! LMAO

[stinkyjohnson]

I would be happy not to approach you. You're what most of us dread. Do you have an ugly face to match that attitude

[jennifer8]

* LOL * I'm sure there are many eligible bachelors in your trailer park.

[luvpudding]

You sound like a real catch LOL

[toulouse]

I think women should be more active. either they do naturally have more proclivity towards empathy, or guys just lack it from being starved from it for so long. whichever the case- I think woman should help guys out more instead of complaining about guys being clueless- they were raised to be -=)

Just like guys should have more serious discussions with women instead of flaky flirty stuff because ostensibly that's what women are supposed to like. There are lots of stigmas in culture but we don't have to be a slave to them. Help & challenge that makes a great exchange in friendship, relationship, etc what have you :)

[Reiki_Z]

i really like the way you think xD

[toulouse]

:-)

[Reiki_Z]

women complain halfway about equality and still expect men to be and do everything

its only fair if we share ; D

[toulouse]

Yup we should share- anyways I don't like whiners :-)

[Reiki_Z]

haha sharing is caring

there is a difference from whining and pointing out a fault

major faults in society

[toulouse]

I didn't mean 'you' were whining. I meant when people complain about things instead of doing something. I meant men or women who make or follow arbitrary or irrational rules& get set on them & flip when he rest of the world starts to move on, 'm agreeing with u. P/ get too stuck and its no good for anyone including them but they are too pig headed to see, till they do, eventually , then they have a midlife crisis and end up making baskets for a few months till no longer afraid of their shadow :)

[Reiki_Z]

haha I didn't assume that you were talking about me : D

but I see

i hate swine lol

good thing times are a changing ha ha

i really do like the way you think

[toulouse]

lol I can never be sure, on here, iot does take 20 comments sometimes just to get back to center, but yes me too & yes they are :)

[Temporary37]

Thanx for being from the 21st century unlike a lot of girls on this site.

[luvpudding]

too bad more girls don't have your common sense.

[jade_love]

Hey I'm not the type to sit around and wait for that special guy (or girl)... If I see something I like I just go for it...And I have been rejected in the 0past too... But I know I look good so I never let that stop me... I get what I want When I want it... That's just how I feel about things... All women should have that mind set and stop complaining that the guy she likes hasn't asked her out yet... And guys... Give the ladies a break... They might not know what they want... They expect you men to know they want you...

[Reiki_Z]

Oh well I like you

haha that's good way to look at it, take what you want cause you derserve that sh*t

but I guess my life expirences have led me to believe that I am not good enough

so I guess I just have to move foward and stop thinking bout what happend to me and what could happen if I try haha

[jade_love]

If you see something you like... Take it... But that has gotten me in some deep sh*t too... Go about it the right way... Whisper sweet nothings in her ear if you have too...

[Reiki_Z]

Haha sweet nothings lol

[jade_love]

Hey I sometimes do it...

Sell them a false story although its kind of mean to do so...

Whatever works right??

You can always make it up to them later...

[Koncieved]

Aw, good answer.

[Reiki_Z]

Waht is sweet nothings ? I mean what is a false story?

like why your there or something haha

[Temporary37]

we're trying

[ouisch_babe7]

Honestly, if a guy doesn't have the balls or ambition to approach me first, I am uninterested. I take that as a testiment to what our future relationship will be like, and I don't want to always have to call the shots because he can't be bothered to. Yes, it may seem sexist that men are usually expected to make the first move, but we are the ones in possession of the vaginas you are so desperately seeking... what's our incentive? And if you're not the best looking guy, you need to be willing to show the girl that you can make up for it other ways, by being fun and outgoing and brave. I know at least 2 different dudes that like me, and I would be willing to date, but since they can't get it together and ask me out, they can just stay a friend and pine for me. That's the way it is. You can either complain about it, or accept it and make your move.

[Koncieved]

"...may seem sexist..." - It is sexist.

"But we are the ones in possession of the vaginas you are so desperately seeking..." - Men seek sex no more than a woman does.

[ouisch_babe7]

Ok then, since you're so stisfied being alone, stay that way. But don't say I didn't try to help you by telling it how it is.

[Reiki_Z]

What if he is shy

i think maybe your being too hard on some of us nice guys

it is sexist to think that it can't be mutual and women can't approach men cause we are "expected"

and we are not desperately seeking anything ha ha girls like sex as much as men do

and we can both do with or with out, trust me.

incentive might be to just meet a great person who could be everything but alittle shy to people he doesn't know cause of there past, all I'm saying is that maybe some women should take more control

[ouisch_babe7]

Yes, I TOTALLY understand that guys can be shy sometimes. But have you ever heard the saying "nice guys finish last?" It's true. In a perfect world, women would approach men just as often as they approach us, but you know what? Most of us DONT approach men because we don't have to. For every shy guy that gives us longing stares from across the room, there's a bold guy who will swoop in and close the deal before the nice guy knows what is happening. You have to get over the shyness and GO FOR IT

[Reiki_Z]

Yea I can understand that, but just cause its that way doesn't mean its right.

its a fair from perfect world but I get your point

life fails for nice guys, good thing that won't be for long !

[lucius46ad]

Thank you for that , I am begining to understand why there are so many women haters in this world. You are the type that guys love to hate and I know you think that's funny. I"d love to see the kind of social retards you go out with, you must be the talk of the trailer park

[Reiki_Z]

Woah now lets be nice

[Claretica]

You hardly sound accepting of people's differences, strengths and weaknesses.

You are the type of girl that simply wants to fulfill her need for attention to fuel her ego.

This is not a good basis for a relationship.

I agree that it's sexist and that it'd be quite difficult to change, but you are the person that further embeds this injustice into our society.

I'm a shyguy, but I'm also not afraid to go and get what I want.

Kdone.

[funny222]

babe 7... LoL ... well so much for the woman's movement. Sexist girls like want the freedoms of men but don't want to earn it. You expect men to do all the motions, all the work? Then I expect you to stay in 1920's, cook and clean for me, and don't talk unless spoken to. If I was those guys who aren't approaching you, and read this quote of yourselves, I'd be glad to never approach you at all!

[ouisch_babe7]

Ok people, call me a hater, call me an anti-feminist, or whatever you think. But the fact is, I don't approach guys because I don't have to. I'm answering under the assumption that the girl the poster is talking about is just as shy as he is. If you don't like what I have to say, than don't take my advice, but then don't ask why things are the way they are if you don't really want to hear the truth. What a bunch of whiny bitches the men on this site are! Good luck to the poster.

[Reiki_Z]

well not to be rude

i wouldn't blame women for liking the fact that if a shy guy doesn't approach her

the girl has no idea how great he could be

and just finds herself with what comes to her

so all I'm saying is that maybe women would like to change up there game

try new things

maybe approach someone who looks good but doesn't have the drive

to start himself up

who knows how many women might end up finding a great one

but its on all people to make a diff

[Temporary37]

No its not that your a hater but that foul combination of arrogance and stupidity that bugs ppl

[carlo]

No the fact is that if it is a fact that because you have the vagina,u expect the guy to make the move& be the strong 1who goes for it, don't expect to be granted much power in society. If, as you put it, 'tha's the way it is', stay home and shut up.That's not whining darling, or you want the cake and it 2 isn't it?If all you have to offer is a vagina, that's how you deserve to be treated.A pretty vagina to dump load in.I bet you don't like d*** do u,you're just doing a favour to the guy when you have sex?

[Temporary37]

Well I don't think you're a hater but you're definitely one of those chicks I avoid at all costs. Do guys really find you attractive?

[stinkyjohnson]

Sure I would be thrilled to be one of those gutless, unmanly, sniveling and worthless cowards in your particular case. The real losers are the ones who would even consider approaching your ugly mug.

[scar1]

I understand wanting to test people but that test make no sense

[busterhimen]

wow what an a$$

[travao]

nasty!

[Anonymous]

My grandfather once told me that the trouble with American women is that they pick and choose their liberaties gained by the Women's Liberation Movement, and give what they refuse to handle back to the men.

In other words, some of you women on this website are looking for ligitiment reasons not to approach men. This isn't hard labor, you're not ask to lift something that requires manly muscles. But if that's how you want to play the game, if you wish to cling to sexual traditions, then fine. I'll do the hard labor, if you'll cook and clean like your grandmothers used to do in colonial times. Fair enough?

[toulouse]

I like lifting things its fun, and tones muscle & I don't care who approaches but if a guy is going to have a gender based rule , that dictates his actions , I'm not going to be interested. end of story

[Opinion Owner]

toulouse... I'm not sure if you're slamming me or not, but if you are...I wasn't insinunating a 'gender based rule'. I'm just saying if women here are going to expect me to 'be the man' so to speak, based on traditional/gender design, then I'll expect women to 'be the woman' in accodance with that expectational origin, which probably stems back to cave man times, if it ever really existed. That's what I was getting at. I want a woman who is free, not giving me such rules because of gender.

[scar1]

the first paragraph is very true. its not equal rights, its more rights

[Anonymous]

Because men are so intimidating. Below is some reasons why:

1) Taller

2) Stronger

3) Deep Booming Voice

4) Can't tell what they're thinking or feeling because they hide it so well

5) Rough & a little crazy

6) Don't smile as much as women

7) They seem so confident

8) They are just plane hot

9) We don't understand them

10) Did I mention that they are taller than us...

All of these are a turn on (majorly) but they also intimidate us. Women are so gentle & sweet & men just seem like they could break you, just scary man :)

[Reiki_Z]

Well I feel like you could break me

if I went up and you were mean (stuck up or high expectations)

but then again what if your not .. ha ha well I think it should be mutual

[Opinion Owner]

Oh,I agree it should be mutual. I'm was giving some examples of why women find it hard to approach men.

[Reiki_Z]

Well because women are everything men arnt

it scares us ha ha

but yea I could list why we are so intimidated by a beautiful women

[Birdsofprey]

Go ahead & make the list. I would find it interesting. I don't personally get why girls are intimidating, so I'd just like to learn why.

[Reiki_Z]

Cause

1 girls can be rude

2 they can be harsly mean

3 they can ruin a mans rep if they get off on a bad note

4 they can be quick to judge but that goes both ways so nvm

5 they can be so pretty that you think that you don't have a chance

6 stuck up^

7 they seem to have the idea that all men are evil

[Temporary37]

so date girls

[scar1]

so what about the guys that aren't any of those things

[Anonymous]

It's true, if more chicks had the nuggets to ask the guys there would probably overall be a doubling of options for the girls, not only would they still be getting hit on but the number of guys they're exposed to will would at least double. If girls aren't liking their options they should rethink this aversion to making the 1st move and take another look the the quieter who rarely get any of the attention. It's actually giving ourselves less choice if we don't.

[Temporary37]

RIGHT ON SISTER! Some of the most lame people on this site are the chicks who say they won;t approach guys. That's the kind of conceit that most of us guys can't stand and want no part of, so I guess it works out because we would NEVER fu(king approach you if you were the last girls on earth. You conceited sleazy, lowlife skanks! Go date the mouth breathing jerk-offs with their dragging knuckles and room temp IO's that you adore. Good luck

[Reiki_Z]

girls could make the world a better place if all of them went out and whiped those pussy's in to shape

some men just need positive encouragement due to a life of negative harsness

[luvpudding]

I just can't see what the problem is. I ask guys out all the time

[browolf]

Girls are naturally attracted to certain personality traits. Just so happens that making the moves are indicative of these traits. If a girl was to make the moves it would be harder to tell if you had those traits or not. Older women are more likely to have learnt that guys that make the moves often lack other important qualities and have readjusted their priorities.

[Reiki_Z]

nice !

women should read this lol

[funny222]

quote >>> Older women are more likely to have learnt that guys that make the moves often lack other important qualities and have readjusted their priorities.

ans >> what important qualities? I hope you don't think it's anything to do with masculinity because if you do than I'd say you're very effeminate in your thinking. I've known a few soldier in my neighborhood, very shy with women, but they're battle hardened marines. Would you say they're lacking important qualities?

[browolf]

I meant jerks over "guys that make the moves" and important qualities like sincerity or decency. Neither of those 2 things preclude confidence. there's nothing in shy battle hardened marines that include or exclude those things.

[SectumSemprae]

We are afraid of approaching men for the exact same reason that men are afraid of approaching us: Rejection.

Maybe sometimes women develop their feelings more deeply before they decide to step forward. So it feels like there is more to lose. But to each their own.

[MrNameless]

Men have to face more rejection then men do, since they are the ones that are pressured to making the 1st moves most of the time.

I hate it when some women have the audacity to reason that they don't want to look stupid or desperate initiating a conversation or asking a guy on a date, when that's what men have been doing for a long time now.

[SectumSemprae]

I wouldn't know about that. I have made the first move with every guy I've been interested in, and I've been rejected by all of them except for one. Well, actually, one other guy accepted me too, but it turned out he just wanted someone to abuse. Maybe guys are more pressured than girls normally; I honestly wouldn't know. From personal experience it doesn't seem that way.

[Reiki_Z]

Well I think there's less a chance for women to be rejected if the man is a total dbag

i would love to be aproached

never have been tho, I would like it to be be mutual (:

if we both feel it and she just saves the guy some nerves and comes up to him

he would be forever grateful

[SectumSemprae]

You can always give her that chance to make the first move, then. You can flirt with her, come to the point where you think you've both made your intentions pretty clear, and then say, "I'm waiting for you to make the first move." That simple. Put it in her hands. She might not immediately, but you laid it out there for her, and eventually she might come around and realize that she has to if she wants to take the next step with you. Just a thought.

[Reiki_Z]

Well I kinda like that , I'm waiting for you to take advantage ha ha

how bout if its a random girl on the street ?

how do you flirt with one while she's walking some where ?

because just walking next to them and saying hi souds scary haha

[SectumSemprae]

Random girl on the street? I don't know, sounds hard to do. I don't know if this is true or not, but I think girls like knowing a guy first, even a little, or else knowing someone who can vouch for him. You'd want to know that you and her have something in common first, right? Not to the point where you're best friends, or else that kind of transition might be too awkward - but enough that they know you first. My fiance and I knew each other first, so I felt safe making the first move.

[Reiki_Z]

Well its egotistical to think hey its been like this for years we like getting chased why stop

and a random women on the street

couldnt you get to know her and maybe ask her out for a casual lunch date or something ?

[MsSiday]

not all woman expect the guy to ask. Some woman just think its cuter if the guy asks. it makes them feel wanted. and also keep nto consideration that we get teased when we ask the guys. I use to always ask out my crushes and almost always got a yes...but my friends thought that it was stupid. so its hard for girls to ask too. it doesn't always mean we are being sexiest. who nknows...maybe one day you will get lucky and a gil will ask yuh out ha ha :) idk...good luck though.

[Reiki_Z]

that would be the day ( ;

thanks for the luck. same to you

and its not stupid to ask someone you like out its just harder when the women has much more apparent options then the man, women are like wow man she is just... and then we look the other way cause we don't know how to start at least for me

[Ramalama]

It's true! Guys ARE intimidating! But the reason more men approach women than the other way around is because women don't judge men as harshly as men judge women. We're more understanding of physical imperfections, than men are thus that's already a leg up in the competition. All you have to do is make us laugh and we're yours.

[Reiki_Z]

Hhm

what do you mean competition

and I think women cause they don't judge they can approach more

[Ramalama]

Well, trying to woo someone into going on a date with you is sort of like a competition. And competition among the other guys vying for her attention or vice versa.

[Reiki_Z]

Well wouldn't she want to have the option of picking which guys she wants to be wooed by ?

by saying hey you should woo me ( :

lol or something cause no one can woo you like I can

just like I can't woo you like he can

im just saying women need to step up there game

[Claretica]

I'm just pointing out that you can't generalize the fact that men judge women harshly.

To be completely honest I think I'm one of the few guys that isn't too bothered by looks.

[Ramalama]

True, I can't generalize that ALL men judge women harshly. I suppose more of you will have to start being like Claretica.

[Dylan1989]

Hold up. I just read the last sentence and I'm a tiny bit confused. You mean if we make you laugh when we approach you then that's all you need from us to accept a first date?

[Ramalama]

Well... I would need a little bit more than a sense of humor to ensure a one on one date, but it'd definitely perk my ears up. That's just my personal opinion though, cause I'm a sucker for a great sense of humor and confidence. To actually get the DATE, well... okay, here's the steps to that (in my mind... I realize all girls are different.)

Make me laugh, ask for my number, then follow through & call. Don't TEXT me, that's too impersonal and says you're really laid back, could care less etc.

[funny222]

your quote >> "...women don't judge men as harshly as men judge women." That's not true for a Los Angeles resident such as myself. Women severely judge men in this part of the world. They expect us to have it all, literally, since there's so many men to choose from. Yet men just expect women to be beautiful, with a delightful temperament. Forget if she doesn't have a job , lives with room mates, doesn't have a car or classy clothes...hell, come to my place. I'll take care of you!

[Reiki_Z]

men don't mind the little or big things

its how you make us feel count

and since women have so many callers they can just get there anything from

any of them

[Ramalama]

I'm sincere when I ask this, do you think every woman you meet (assuming she's put together well, attractive etc. ...no matter the size) just has a plethora of men calling them? Is that how guys think when they see a woman they'd consider approaching?!

And Los Angeles... yes, I imagine LA women are VERY different from OKC women haha. It's amazing... I don't look for money in a guy, just respect, and someone who doesn't smoke. I was told I was being too picky... -_-

[Reiki_Z]

yes we just assume that they are happy

or at least can fool us into thinking they are

which also makes us think that they have men in reserve lol

at least the women in the big citys with the whole I don't know stuck up mentality

we assume the most of all

like ya she prbly is fine with out me

cause if she isn't then maybe she would call out to someone

[Temporary37]

And that's one of the reasons we DONT approach you because you are essentially dimm witted and shallow. Yes, we know all we have to do is make you laugh, but you see there are some of us who think that is wicked lame and you are nothing but meat for the jerks. That will be what you get. JERKS! And if we know ahead of time that you have that attitude, we will make it a point to avoid you at all costs. No self respecting guy wants to stick his Johnson where a jerk has been.

[Temporary37]

well yea make the dumb ones laugh, but what about the ones we actually want to date?

[bonfiredancer]

I don't think men have to/should make all the choices, most choices should be mutual -- Well at least those affecting the partner. I highly recommend these two books (which I own & have read) about these "rules" on roles: Getting To I Do and The Real Rules. They will clarify this "roll" situation. Also read the reviews on Amazon.com, you get a lot out of those.

[Katyperry]

Well, its because girls don't know how to express their feelings to guys it seems that they want to show or say it but they are afraid like what if the guy will misinterpret it... like me, well girls and guys are the same but ofcourse if you love someone you need to please them and show to them that they mean a lot to you,coz some way guys are blank affect too not only girls. Guys need to make the first move inorder for a girl to trust them... :))

[Reiki_Z]

haha what if the man can only trust the woman if she

makes the first move ? ha ha

i don't understand how if we are similar with soul

how can one of the two decide on who will be the one to show the love and what not

[Temporary37]

don't you think that means a lot of lost opportunities for girls?

[Anonymous]

Plenty of women do approach men, that's a misconception. I see it all the time at bars, clubs, supermarkets. The girls who have lots of guys chasing them get them by being forward and approaching the guy they want.

The ones that don't are either just as painfully shy as shy guys or bimbos who depend on their teenage looks.

[funny222]

Well said. Good observation, anonymous.

[stinkyjohnson]

I guess I should shop at your market

[scar1]

I've never seen but I also don't go to social events

[Anonymous]

i think you need to get out of your basement and get out to a gym. then get out more in general. stop being a recluse and get yourself out there. take it from me, it sucks big huge hairy balls in the beginning but in the end you will be happy that you did.

[Reiki_Z]

haha I'm in the gym

its just I feel more women should be strong and taking what they want haha

[Anonymous]

Because men are so intimidating. They are so cute & strong, & we just don't know how to approach them. Men don't have to be intimidated by women because men are the stronger sex. If a woman says no, a man is still taller than her & has the control of the situation. If, however, the man says no to the woman, she feels small next to his strength. Men are just tougher than us shy girls. I'm so affraid of them :(

[Reiki_Z]

Well size doesn't matter when it comes to that ha ha

women can be small and still intimidate us men shyguys ha ha

and if she says no he's still got nothing

but its less likely to happen negativily if the women ask the man

[Dylan1989]

And what if the guy is shorter than the girl? your reasoning about the fact that a man is still taller than the girl is wrong. what I'm tryna say is, guys are more intimidated by a woman's beauty than a girl is intimidated by a guys strength.

[toulouse]

Why are you intimidated by beauty? it can't physically harm you I e rape etc. & Guys can be/ are beautiful too :)

[Reiki_Z]

because beauty is a cruel mistress lol

and can cause pain if you don't get the beauty

[LittleMissy93]

I think its just an excuse we make, because we are too afraid to be turned down.

[Reiki_Z]

well at least your honest about it ( :

[Temporary37]

That was the most straight forward answer.

[Anonymous]

this is an important question for a lot of us, too bad so many girls don't get it. I can't believe some of the attitudes I encounter. It's like they're living in another era. DUMB who won't approach guys miss a lot of opportunities

[Reiki_Z]

haha yea I feel that people have learned a little I hope

[luvpudding]

If they only knew the opportunities they were missing. Then women complain about their relationships. It is DUMB

[bonfiredancer]

I let men know when I'm interested but I let them pursue me, because I don't want to be with a man who I am not sure is THAT into me. It is my understanding that men will pursue if interested, at least men who are masculine.

[Temporary37]

and the rest are weenies right?

[Reiki_Z]

lol maybe the others are just shy and think your to beautiful

[stinkyjohnson]

that is some dumb reasoning

[jennifer8]

WOW what an insult. So if they don't go all googoo over you, they're not masculine? Nice attitude!

[Anonymous]

I thought this question was very interesting because in a lot of answers the girls showed their true colors. It's nice when you can spot the losers before you waste your time on them. Girls who refuse to approach guys are getting easier to spot and therefore easier to ignore. Keep up the snotty attitude girls. We're having a great time ignoring you. And guess what? The decent girls are leaving the A$$holes just for you. So you can look forward to having someone to make you laugh. Enjoy

[lucius46ad]

We're not all like that, but I know what you mean

[Opinion Owner]

check out ****face carla watta loser

[ManaX]

There's nothing wrong with approaching a guy, just as long as he's the one that asks you out later. I've made the first move before, and there's nothing wrong with you coming out as friends.

[Reiki_Z]

Haha well that's great I wish there was more women like you

but I think both could ask for the next date ( ;

[ManaX]

You didn't put much effort in, all you did was copy and paste. Women don't like lazy men.

[YobootyStank]

Women feel like its the men's job. Plus you guys have to prove you have guts XD

hahaha nice picture I havnt watched dragonball z in forever :P

[Reiki_Z]

Everybodys gots guts

but what if we can't pick and just want what's coming to us

i mean I just wanna serve lol

and its like I can't serve everyone so I'm here potentially for who ever wants me or calls the loudest I guess ha ha

thanks I picked that pic cause its like ibe been blasted back by my own love

[YobootyStank]

NOOO not everyone has guts, like I wouldn't go up to you because I find attractive guys intimidating and rejection would suck hahah .so your not picky about girls? that's good

[Reiki_Z]

Haha well technically they do : P

well what if they or I

gave you the feelings like I would love for you to talk to me (like come use me) or put me in play

eye contact is amust cause if there is none then I feel there was no conection

but yea I don't mind much, all women are beautiful I'm the beholder ( ;

however I do like certain women more then others but that's just nature

(like strong dominating women turn me on )

[massaffect]

I smell egg rolls

[YobootyStank]

Lmaoo your mean -_____- actually people always tell me I smell like asian food so thanks? eggrolls smell good

[jennifer8]

* DUMB *