I will never be a girl's "first love."

[Anonymous]

I'm in my mid-twenties and I've never had a girlfriend. Even if I get one tomorrow, the odds are practically impossible in this fast-paced world that I would be her "first love." Maybe third or fourth, but not first. I'll never be the guy that changed a girl's outlook on life.

This depresses me. Any advice or thoughts?

[unconditionallover]

I feel the exact same way my friend. I am 18 and am dating this girl I am absolutely in love with. She would be my third love, but in a way is like my first love because I lost my virginity to her and it was very emotional for me and still is. To her, I would be her 5th love, if you look at at it from an intimate standpoint where sex is involved. This bothers a little bit due to the fact that ill never be able to have what that first boyfriend had who took her heart. I will never have a relationship with her that is at that same emotional level and that bothers me considering she took my virginity. I mean, you know she still will never forget about him or let him go. She still has three pictures on her facebook of her and him. The other thing is that these past loves have hurt her and have made it harder to trust and give her whole heart away to someone else. I don't know man, its just very frustrating, and like you said, depressing. I wish I had an answer, but I just have a similar story to share. good luck to you! I think I will I go cry now.

[InquisitiveMale]

Every time we share a bond with someone we help shape their perceptions. You may not be her first, or her last, but you will change her. It's inevitable.

[Beth5401]

Honestly, this may turn out to be a huge positive for you in the end. People rarely stay with their first love, even if it was real love at one point. And just because you may not be her first love that does not mean that meeting you will not be life changing for her. You will likely be everything her first love was not and be able to prove to her how special she is and show her how she deserves to be treated. I just recently ended a four year relationship with my first love and the guy I am seeing now has already shown me so many new things and has been an amazing source of support- completely different from my ex. When you fall in love with someone it will be special and life changing no matter how many relationships or loves you've had in the past. Stay positive and be patient, everything will turn out fine in the long run!

[timetowaste]

Being someone's first love is way overrated. My first love definitely changed my outlook on life, and it taught me a lot of things, but the event that triggered it wasn't good... wasn't good at all. Some people realize, after getting out of a relationship, that what they thought was love... wasn't love at all. I've dated my fair share of assholes, and even thought I was in love a few times... but I never truly experienced it until my current boyfriend. There's a reason why they aren't in those relationships anymore. Still, every guy I've ever met and dated, it's always tweaked my view on life, people, and my priorities. Don't think you won't be special to a girl because you weren't in her life first, that's just ludicrous and not true.

[Taken-lady]

yeah...first, DON'T assume this. Just because it's not likely doesn't mean it won't happen!

I married at 15 nearly 26yrs ago and am still married to the same guy. How UNLIKELY is that?

How many females have posted here that they were 19 or 22 and never been kissed, and your age and still a virgin.

Now...are you ready to date? Are you ready to be a good friend, provider, leader, protector, etc? Your time would be better spent focusing on those things now rather than worrying about your girl not being out there. She's there. Waiting for a guy just like you. BUT be careful that you don't have so many preconceived ideas of what she looks like, where she lives, etc that you meet her and don't know it's the one.

[971789]

For starters I've never been in love. In any case, regardless of all the hype around a person first love, their last love is the most important, the most significant, and always the cutest story to tell. You will be somebody' s last love and that is what really counts.

[Anonymous]

Go for younger girls who haven't had much luck in therelationship department, go for girls no one else is interested in...

[SUMMERSWEETER]

Don't feel down on your luck. You may be surprised to find out how many nice girls have never fallen in love with a guy before and are just waiting for the right one to come along and change all of that for them... good luck.