Ew! Fat guy asked me out today, why?

[Anonymous]

me and this guy are friends i mean i wouldn't consider him even a good friend, but today he asked me out. he's a nice guy and he's good to talk to but he's not really dating material, he's fat! the thing is as much as he wasn't a close friend he was a good listener so how can i reject him but not loose his friendship?

im 5 foot 7 and a skinny build with green eyes and blonde hair so i know i can do better

[Anonymous]

He asked you out because he thought maybe you'd see him as a person.
Guess that's beyond you.

See, I wouldn't have a problem with women having standards... or women wanting men to change themselves to live up to their standards (like... if he got into shape, you'd consider it), except for the fact that women act like it is the most vile, oppressive thing for a man to have standards, and hope a woman would make an effort to change herself to meet his.

Personally, I hope you ask out a guy you like, and he looks at you and says "you're chubby for my taste. Come back when you lose 20 pounds."
Because, after crying hysterically and being indignant and having a fit and making sure you tell all your friends what a pig asshole he is?
Maybe, just maybe, you'll be rational long enough to realize that all he did was what you did, and if you can turn someone down for their weight, because the mere idea that they like you disgusts you, then you should accept that a man might think you aren't pretty enough for him.

[JhoniBoy]

Physical attraction is very important...

[Opinion Owner]

@JhoniBoy So is reading.
"See, I wouldn't have a problem with women having standards... or women wanting men to change themselves to live up to their standards (like... if he got into shape, you'd consider it), except for the fact that women act like it is the most vile, oppressive thing for a man to have standards, and hope a woman would make an effort to change herself to meet his."

I accept that attraction is important. What my reply was highlighting is that, for many women, they view having standards as a given, while thinking men having standards is misogynistic, or something.

[JhoniBoy]

No, not all women think like that.
I think a lot of men just can’t take that women are the same when it comes to visual appeal and a lot of guys think they can get women who are out of their league but get mad when they get turn down.
If the guys fat he’s going to stay fat it’s up to him to change that and make better choices as to what he puts in his body he shouldn’t loose weight just to get a woman he should do it for himself.

[JhoniBoy]

No one should change themselves to live up to another persons standards

[Opinion Owner]

@JhoniBoy you are wrong. it is entirely on us to change to meet other people's standards. changing to feel better about yourself is a crock... everyone who changes, physically, is trying to entice attention from others, so it is seeking to meet their standards, even if you don't know them yet.
And you should be happily willing to try to change some aspects of yourself, to appeal to a person you care about or desire.

I think he should lose weight and ask her again. I am not insulted by her having standards, or by him changing to meet them. I am merely talking about how, for many women, they are OK with having their own standards, but are offended when men do.

[JhoniBoy]

No, you should only change for yourself. No woman can change a man only a man can change himself. If he does it for her he will eventually loose himself and regret everything.
I don’t workout and eat right for women I do it for myself because I don’t want to die fat young I simply care about my body and what I put into but if a chick finds me appealing that’s a bonus.

[JhoniBoy]

I think he should work on himself and never ask her out again.
Never mess with a woman who doesn’t accept you for who you really are physically or mentally.

[danpossibly]

first off don't be disgusted via the fact he's overweight, in this day and age weight is not something people can actively have control over with limited budgets and no time to exercise. Second don't view him as a listener resource try and be a more active friend with him if you wish to still remain as friends. and for the response just be clear precise, just say something along the lines of "I don't see you in a romantic way and don't think that will change, I still like you as a friend though and don't want to lose you" be aware he still can drift away after this, non requited feelings are hard to get over

[MsLoli]

If he's not important to you, then why is he even in your life? Clearly, you don't give enough shits about his feelings not to publicly humiliate him online, and "being friends" with him is really just your way to get an ear to talk off and an ego boost because someone likes you enough to want to date you and listen to all of your bullshit problems.
Attraction is important, so you're not wrong for wanting something a little more, what you did wrong is your approach to it, which is very conceited and shallow. You can desire a handsome partner, but you don't have to be a cunt about it.
In the meantime, I would recommend just cutting this guy out of your life so he can move on, because keeping him around is probably a torturous and continuous cock-tease where he thinks he might POSSIBLY change your mind so you'll date him. Keeping it up is just leading him on.

[Jaye234]

Your post sounds extremely vain and self centered but I understand where you're coming from- if you're not attracted to him then you're not attracted to him.
But have you actually thought about going out as friends only? Plus he had the balls to ask you out! This guy has more to offer like being genuinely nice for instance.
I'd much rather be around a man that is kind and funny vs some stud muffin who is as shallow as a kiddie pool.

[Jaye234]

The more I think about your question the more I wish I hadn't even bothered to comment.
You've made your mind up and you don't even consider him a person only a thing you can vent to when your cherries have turned.

Life is going to smack you upside your face- hard. You need to reevaluate yourself.

[CHARismatic110]

You could've done without all the "ew, a fat guy asked me out" nonsense. You're basically saying that he's a nice guy and a good listener and you wanna use him for that right? No one likes to be rejected. All you can do is tell him you aren't interested but you'd like to be friends. But don't expect him to want to.

[Asker]

I see what you're saying :) but how can i tell him gently?

[CHARismatic110]

There really is no gentle way to reject someone. Just be honest with him. But don't just keep him around to unload on. Actually be a friend of you want a friendship.

[Whatthefluff]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gkTb9GP9lVI

[Nerdking]

I don't know whats wrong with that he has a good personality but he's fat so he's not dating material? So your expecting to find someone who's a good listener and has the body of a greek god huh, well GL with that bc those guys can get ANY girl they want and who knows you may be with him till he finds a better model.

Fyi I'm chubby and I'm sure i wasn't my GFs ideal choice but i did my best to show her how much she ment to me, and hell i even started dropping weight bc i want to be more active and take her places, I'm sure if my girlfriend was on g@g she'd tell you what i do to keep her happy and smiling bc i love her with every fiber of my being.

Your young i understand that just know a lot of older women are looking for men who will treat them with respect, it dosnt hurt to try as you never really know what could happen.

[ThatPersonOverThere]

There are billions of people in this planet, yes you can literally always do better.

That's the problem with trying to date young women, you're so focused on the fantasy guy in your head that you are incapable of appreciating what you have in front of you.

I hope you learn better before it's too late.

[Anonymous]

"Fat guy" can do better. You sound toxic. Looks can't last forever. Personality can and you need to improve yours. While you don't have to go on a date with him, what makes you think it's okay to ask this question? To get some praised for fat shaming and telling how you've got high standards?

[NineBreaker]

Please reject him. You'll be doing him a really big favor. You clearly have no respect for him. You have the legitimate right to reject him for being fat, but no need to be so demeaning.

In fact, because of your expression of disgust (Ew!), you can't be friends either. Why? You clearly have no respect for him. Do him a favor and end that friendship too, at least for his sake. You are not obligated to respect him, but you can't be friends with someone you have no respect for.

[Kandy-Kane]

All I can say is what a shame he likes someone like you.

[Asker]

What because i have standards!

[Myrdices]

There's a difference between having standards and being a snobby cunt

[Kandy-Kane]

@Myrdices my thoughts exactly

[WalterRadio]

"i know i can do better"
If you think sitting at home with a frozen box of pasta marinara is better, then so be it.

There is nothing wrong with talking with someone. You might be surprised and have a nice time.

[That2kKid21]

Don't mind all the sensitive guys out there (who aren't even real men) who are telling you you're a bitch and all that. It makes sense to not like someone overweight. But if you really wanna keep the friendship, just talk to him and tell him you like him as a friend. That will work.

[Builder2009]

Weight can always be lost, but he probably only listened to you because he thought that'd make you like him.. Just save both of your time and tell him the truth. He'll probably lose weight and get a 5'9 blonde

[Zach_B]

If you're not interested in a relationship with someone, that's that. No one can really be offended by that considering you can't control it.
As to why, he's confident enough to tell someone that he's attracted to them, and good for him. He's already doing a lot better than a lot of guys by just doing that and you have to give him some credibility and respect for that.

[Southernbelle45]

You're so mean. Looks don't last forever. Remember that!

[Maxemeister]

Some friend you are.

You're allowed to reject him, you're not allowed to decide who's "in your league"

In one way I feel sorry for this dude but on the other hand thank god, he avoided a relationship with you

[BobbyC65]

Tell him the truth you don't want to date him is because he's fat and not dating material. And you can do better because your a snob and a spoiled brat.

[Anonymous]

This is why we don't care what women say about body positivity and the whole "real women have curves" bullshit. Women know that being fat is unattractive, and that being fat is a choice.

[JhoniBoy]

Skinny chicks don’t preach that though it’s the fat ones

[Opinion Owner]

@JhoniBoy True enough, but they still know it

[Opinion Owner]

Just to clarify, I'm not saying she's wrong or that she's being shallow or a bitch or anything. Life is a competition, whether people like it or not. Letting yourself go and being fat and sloppy is like laying out of practice and still expecting coach to let you play.

[BigBadBubble]

A bit shallow don't ya think? Feel free to be that way, you can date who you want, but to say something about him being fat sets your bar a bit high.

[Mynameisbobby]

you don't sound like a nice person at all. you are a snob!!

[PlacentaSalad]

He just thought you were looking like a whole snack.

[answerALLquestions]

And with that one more girl in a long outstanding line learned why guys are "friends" with them

[Anonymous]

you dont deserve him honestly.
if you dont like him you dont like him but you dont have to be shallow about it.

[Viranda]

If he thought he had an opportunity, it's because you might not be at such a high level as you think. The thruth hurts.

[Anonymous]

remind me not to date you, and to tell my friends you're a shallow bitch

[outside_Toronto]

You seem pretty shallow. He should revoke... he deserves better

[Blueeyes81]

Cut the guy loose and pay for a therapist if you need somebody to listen to your dribble.

[cupidkisses]

Just because he's fat doesn't mean that he can't have feelings for you

[pizzalovershouse]

i agree

[Anonymous]

Maybe you have an ugly face so he thinks he has a chance.

[Landshrk0068]

Shame on you for fat shaming

[jhus69]

So harsh! Karma will sting you like a bee! Just because he's fat!

[FýrdracaDócincel]

Shush
You're an obese midget albino.

[Whatthefluff]

Lmao

[unknownomen]

You're the type of person people will love to hate

[TripleAce]

ya but massage his chub... why not

[opurba]

To date u... can't admit.

[Hilow4more]

He thinks you are none judgmental about looks

[Anonymous]

dont date fat guys, run from them

[Revolver_]

Lol.

[Anonymous]

“Friends”