Almost every time when I meet my friends with benefits, he always say he misses me like for real, but if he really misses me why doesn't he just text me?
What does it mean when a guy says he misses you but doesn't text you?
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
This question is the same which I ask myself.
But when we met last time and he said he missed me, I asked him directly - if so, why you never text me? Why you never ask me out? And then we had actually our first serious conversation. He told me it's all about that he not long time ago finished a relationship, and now it is not something he is looking for. He doesn't want to engage too much to not get hurt again. He prefers to keep it more casual and for now, he doesn't want to feel like he is in charge of something/someone. Well, when we were talking about it, it actually broke my heart because yes, I wanted to know the truth but I think, it wasn't what I was expected.
But I think, it is really important to talk and ask things. Sometimes, they seem so different than they are in a reality. Instead of creating something in your mind, ask for the truth. The sooner, the better. Because then at least you know, where are you standing.
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Asker
+1 y
For my situation, we've been in this relationship for half a year and I do hang out with his friends before and planing to invite him to meet my friends. I asked him if he's seeing some girls and he told me that no I'm the one he's seeing this time. We communicate a lot not by text but in person. We've talked about our families and relationships in the past stuff like that. I used to strict about friends with benefits rules, like don't stay at his place after 9 haha stuff like that, but we broke the rules plus he flirts with me a lot and it made me hard to control my feelings for him, and now I'm kinda developing feelings for him and thinking about telling him next time but I don't know I can do it or not...
In my case is the same - in person we talk for hours but when not, he is not gonna text me first. If I would text him, he answers right away - so it's not about being busy. And I am also the only girl he is seeing right now. So pretty similar.
But what I tried say was, you need to communicate. If you are wondering about something - ask him. People have different reasons for not texting and we all can just give you some ideas and guess but maybe we all are wrong. Ask him why he is never initiating convo. If you are close in person and feel comfortable with each other, he will not have a problem to answer you.
About feelings and if you can do it... Well, you can do whatever you want. You just need to be prepared for different scenarios. But in my opinion the longer you will keep it to yourself the harder it will get in the future. But try to first ask about why he is not texting because his answer may clear some things in your mind
Isn't this just a friends with benefits, so what's with the questioning if he really misses you? Not everyone texts a lot, I don't text a lot. But when I see people I care for even if it's been months I let them know I missed them, even though we hadn't communicated so much. But you stated you are FWBs so unless you're breaking the friends with benefits Cardinal Rule of falling fir him then why question it. You'll only know for certain if you ask him straight out instead of asking a bunch of strangers on GaG...
I thought you said this was just a friends with benefits situation. Are you starting to develop feelings for this person? And if you are he clearly doesn't feel the same way. If he's not texting or calling you it simply means he's not that interested.
2
1 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Yeah I'm developing feelings for him and I feel like he likes me too, but I just don't know why he rarely texts me, but every time I text him he'll answer asap
If he texts you then you'll think he's wrapped around your finger and probably lose interest, if he doesn't it confuses you til you can't stop thinking about it. The middle ground there is so hard to find let alone balance on it, that sometimes it's best to just lay against the 'less is more' side and ride it out. The hard part is relaxing. You said he's an friends with benefits, maybe he doesn't want to intrude and is trying to respect your boundaries.
My take is that you could possibly pursue him for a relationship.
all I know is what you wrote, so I could be totally wrong.
Actually I have this problem too😅 can't find any solutions. Okay first of all there are two types of that one is for real like me🙈 so sometimes if you are too close to someone you can't text him/her easily it may take me two days to just say hi its too hard and the other reason might be you are too close to text, someguys have this thing they can't never ever ever text their bestfriends. and one is faked like that when you pump into someone in the street and say I mised you where have you been and all the other bullshit that we tell each other (social hypocrisy )
It means he's busy but misses you. How often did you expect him to text? Guys will not often text but once every 2-3 days, that would be normal for the younger generation. Since I'm older I might text or call every 1-2 days because I want to get to know her, how she's doing, etc.
He says that as a way to keep you available for him and to not lose you as a friend with benefits. If he really do miss you he would be making all kinds of efforts to text you at least as a regular friend.
Thats so tricky because 3 guys answered below with 3 highly possible answers!! Perhaps just have a conversation with him about it and ask why he doesn’t text you if he misses you?
2
1 Reply
Asker
New+1 y
I'm afraid to ask him but I'll try next time I meet him
He's really not missing you. Cause if he was missing. There should be no reason for him to hit you're line. If he truly miss you. I know I let mine friends with benefits know all the time. FRFR! Seriously if she's doing you right. Got to give it back. Or someone else, is gonna pick up your slack. Truth and facts!
Either he enjoys the ways things are now. Or he's just an idiot like most men and doesn't notice you want more from him. In which case the best option is to straight up tell him or he'll never figure it out.
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2 Reply
Asker
+1 y
I'm kinda have commitment issue I even don't know if I want more from him, but I like him so much and I wanted to tell him but I failed I don't know where to start. by the way we have a great fun conversation every time we meet but not by text. I mean It's strange becos another guy who likes me texts me almost everyday but he doesn't.
Actually he sometimes texts me like "I miss u" but he just doesn't text me a lot, and recently I feel like I am the only one who texts him first a lot and sometimes I'm afraid he'll find it's annoying lol
Well... you said that you are friends with benefits, so that explains everything. He misses your body, but not you. It is normal in that kind of relationship
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2 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Yeah, but I'm so confused becos when I text him let's meet he'd reply yeah let's meet I miss you. when we've met he also said i miss u, then I told him not to say that if u don't really feel it, but he told me I really miss u not only your body... so that's why I don't know why he doesn't text me if he misses me...
Well, I think the simplest answer would be that he could be falling in love with you, or he just sees you as an important friend or person in his life apart from just sex
Somebody should initiate the conversation. Since you are not officially in relationship let him initiate. He will do if he really wants. Just be flirty and communicative.
He does miss you, but more in a sexual way and you having a problem with that tells me you have some feelings for him
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2 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Yeah kind of... we've been in this friends with benefits relationship almost half a year, and tbh when I'm with him I can feel he likes me too and the way he looks at me, touches me and takes care of me, like now I'm losing my control and can't stop thinking about him.
I would keep the mindset of he doesn't care and just got used to you and your touch is normal for him, but it's nothing more and it never will If he really cares he would do something, he doesn't
Either he's searching for the right words or rather than text it to you he will tell you when he See's you to make it more personal and meaningful some things are better said in person rather than a informal text !
could be confused about what you want from the relationship as in: "I miss you but don't want to chase off what we already have." i'd be upfront and honest about these feelings and say that while you might not want a greater emotional commitment, texting you isn't overstepping any boundaries.
Why not just call him... did we forget to call people these days... what happened to good old fashioned quality phone calls... now its all text messages, snapchat nudies... pictures.. etc bah
He's lying If a guy or if someone really misses you then they would text you. Even if they are busy they'd still make time for you and no one is too busy to text
This is a myth that the youth of today have convinced each other of, and it's not a healthy belief. Not everyone is a big texting type of person. Therefore a lack of texting does not equal a lack of interest. One has absolutely nothing to do with the other.
Treat him like he treats you, he will understand and never hurt you anymore when you care too much he will guess that you’re available all the times and can’t live without him
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