Why is it I can never get a guy to like me?

[norelle]

I'm not one of those girls that always has to have a boyfriend, but I'm not gonna lie, I would like to have one. I haven't before, and I don't know why. I'm pretty average, really smart, have hobbies, and a couple of close friends. I'm not exactly a girly girl, but I'm not very tom-boyish either though I'm leaning more to that description. all of my girl friends have had boyfriends before and they've already done way more than I can comprehend. and when I ask them for help they always try and make me act or look or behave a certain way. I don't change a whole lot for guys (I rarely change at all) but I take their advice because I'd just like to have one guy notice me. but nothing I try works. changing certainly doesn't and being myself isn't working out either. so I guess I want to know...what's wrong with me? is it because I'm not like other preppy, happy, skinny, perfect other girls I always see? or because I'm not experienced with anything like this and guys can tell? I'm okay with being alone, but it is a little depressing some days.

Updates

+1 y

the way I dress (jeans; loose shirts; baggy jacket; black shirts). they'll say dress a little more feminine (tighter shirts, fitted jeans, no huge jacket.) or my sense of humor (sarcastic and honest). they want shallow and vapid (some would say flirty).

[Reeses-pieces777]

yeah that's like me when I was younger, well I'm dating right now but I know I went through this. well I just tried to be more girlier at times. I used to be a tom boy. I'm anything but a tom boy right now except for taking martial arts, that's the only time when I get to act like a guy, especially in fights or sparring which I love to do. It doesn't mean you have to give up being who you are, but maybe making yourself feel more attractive or comfortable. it could be saying one positive thing about yourself every morning or it could be changing your hair. small things like that. and just because I'm pretty now and I like girly things, doesn't mean I'm shallow either. but yes, you pick and choose. maybe the guys in your area don't appreciate the more mature or the non-shallow girls, etc. there are so many different types of guys, there are a lot of factors as to why you haven't met the one, just be patient and work on what you can and you never know, mr. right might be there in front of your face sooner or later.

[tk3621]

You probably just haven't been in an environment with guys who can appreciate you for your individuality. For a smart chic like yourself, you might catch some guys' attention in a cool course that involves expressing yourself during class. Or in the case of hobbies, you might be able to find guys with similar hobbies wherever people do them.. like jogging at a park.

You hear about people saying "Looks is what brings them in, personality is what makes them stay." To me, if you look like you wear personality on the outside, then that's what really bring in guys who are most suited for you.

You're definitely not lacking in the personality department so I say that you just haven't to exposed to the right guys or rather... the right guys haven't been exposed to your awesomeness. =P

[norelle]

thank you. and thanks for your answer.

[flutistfreakx3]

I'm the same way. All my friends told me nothing is wrong with me, I just need to be myself and that I'll find someone. As much as I hated their advice, it seems to be working. I finally like a guy that seems to be interested in me, he's just not sure he wants a relationship yet (this was found out by a guy friend). Just be patient, like I am trying to be. It will happen.

I TOTALLY get how you feel though. Just remember, it's not the end of the world to be single. :)

[norelle]

the only difference between your friends and mine are your friends don't want you to change. some of mine do. so I guess this is turning into a friend problem as well as a dating problem. I don't know; this is more confusing than I thought.

[themastaplan]

i didn't even read this entire thing...the problem is is that you're trying...you can't find love, love finds you...if you go looking for it, you'll never find it...

try analyzing the places you hang out socially...are these places where boyfriend material guys hang around, or are they just looking to get laid...

just go out, have fun, b e yourself, you will connect with someone eventually, just stop trying, love needs to find you

[qwer1234]

and when I ask them for help they always try and make me act or look or behave a certain way... give us examples for acting, looking and behaving in a certain way. What are your friends make you acting, lookin or behaving?

[Fruitloopes007]

Are you shy? I can't get a guy because I'm shy, & that turns men off. Also, don't blaim yourself, a lot men when they are younger are looking for the wrong thing. They eventually grow up & look for good girls, but until then they kind of go for the sluts :(

[mscutiequeen]

upload a pik nd ill tell you :)