Do you believe this statement is true?

[Jemini_Crocket]

YES

NO

[ak667]

Mostly yes, but I'd exclude shy guys. In my case I never wanted a girl to ask me out when I was single, because if the interest was mutual, I'd ask her out, and rather quickly (even if we were mere acquaintances). If the girl asked me out, chances are that I wasn't interested.

However, I was quite shy as a young teenager and in that case I lacked the balls to make moves in any timely fashion. That said, I don't think many girls are into shy guys. I had to overcome that shyness. Yet if you're a girl and into a shy guy for whatever reason, then I think it does make some sense to reverse the normal rules.

[ak667]

Funny thing is that my thinking patterns have changed a lot since the time I was a very shy guy who was so awkward around girls, trying to talk to the ones I liked, fumbling like an idiot, and then dodging them out of fear of further embarrassment. At that time I was hopeless around girls, and I had such a fear of rejection that it might have even surpassed any fear of death. My priorities were all messed up. Yet I overcame that shyness in part because a girl did pursue me at a party, sat on my lap, talked to me all night while I was kind of embarrassed, and asked me out. Then I fell for her over the dating process. So at that point I just had a crippling fear of approaching and taking initiative that made me hopeless with any girl who didn't approach me.

Yet after overcoming the shyness, now I can take initiative, easily. I have no fear of rejection whatsoever. So the no-longer-shy version of myself wholeheartedly agrees with the statement, but my former shy self would disagree.

[Jemini_Crocket]

I'm real happy when people manage to overcome their shyness. I'm struggling with myself a bit too, I tend to be paranoid so that complicates stuff. My mum said I'm probably gonna have to be found by someone rather be the one pursuing bcs I'm that bad at doing first steps xD

[ak667]

I found that streaking helped with that. I started to develop a habit of taking my clothes off in front of people, usually with a little bit of liquid courage. After thousands of people saw me naked with some capturing my picture on their phones, it's like, "You know, I've embarrassed myself so much now that I have no reason to feel embarrassed about anything anymore."

[Jemini_Crocket]

I'd die if that would have happened to me 😂

[ak667]

Embarrassment therapy. :-D That's a bit of an extreme approach but it was how I got over my shyness. I just embarrassed myself so many times that I no longer saw a point in feeling embarrassed. I'm happy to do embarrassing things all the time now, I'm completely free, because I've come to see embarrassment as "something taken". I can do things that would make most people cringe if it happened to them without taking any embarrassment. :-D

[ak667]

Embarrassment is also kind of a spiral. Because if you're nervous about embarrassing yourself, you tend to embarrass yourself far more. When you get confident and start losing the nerves and inhibitions, you tend to find that not only can you handle an embarrassing situation without feeling the embarrassment, but you also tend to behave in a way that avoids embarrassing situations.

[ak667]

Like I remember a time when I was around 12 or so where I was next to some people, and a girl introduced herself by extending her hand. Then in a knee-jerk reaction I extended mine, but she was extending her hand to the guy next to me. So we ended up doing a three-way handshake where I was grabbing both the guy's hand, the girl's hand, and then was like "whoops" and retracted my hand. And that silly thing was so embarrassing back then! But it was so embarrassing because I couldn't even make a joke or anything. I just stayed silent. Now if I did that, I'd come up with a funny joke on the spot to put everyone at ease, and wouldn't feel the slightest bit embarrassed. When you lose the inhibitions, you can do stuff like that to defuse awkward situations.

[Jemini_Crocket]

I guess it works in the end and you don't really care if you get embarassed bcs you've already experienced the most embarassing situations but still I couldn't go through that. I'm just glad I've changed a bit over time, not much but I'm not as shy as I used to be.

[Jemini_Crocket]

I'd like to think I'm not as shy lol

[Logan-5]

Wow, 100% of women think you don't have to pursue the guy who really likes you.

But he may be unable to approach you BECAUSE he really likes you. I don't bother approaching those who I'm really crazy about. My heart pounds hard when they're near from the anxiety and anticipation of talking to someone I'm nuts about, and I doubt my ability to say anything to hold their interest. So I don't approach them, and just idolize them from a distance.

We guys could benefit from a little encouragement. His not approaching you doesn't mean he isn't dying to marry you.

[potatoismee]

Don't think anyone has to chase anyone, neither men nor women. But I agree with some of what's written here. That if a man truly cared he will make his girl his priority, and he won't let her chase him *but this won't mean he will chase her*, also it is true that he will make arrangements and talk about the future but this doesn't mean his girlfriend won't. Because relationships aren't supposed to be one sided. If he hasn't have to sit back nd let you do all the work, same applies for you.

[RedMatch]

Said yes, though I don't believe the female should sit back either, its a relationship, not a hierarchy, both should give and take equally. This doesn't have to be done in the same manner as the other person but to some sort of equal value.

[Tomblebee]

It's in a book. I just added it to my fact book in my head.. now you're asking if it's true.. gheeze.. I don't know.. I want to think it is but that's em being naive and shit which sucks.

[MarketData]

You have much to learn young padawan.

[Tomblebee]

@MarketData Indeed. as do ye.

[Liska98stad]

Girl I’m waiting for you lol

[Tomblebee]

@Liska98stad :P.. Sorry the wifi.. got held up..

[jcampbell115]

I think it has to go both ways, because either has to chase after the other to truly gauge someone's interest. It's really hard to assume someone is interested if you're always sitting there with the expectation that they need to be the one chasing, and then that moment doesn't come. And you know it's true, because I see time and time again the question "well, was he/she really interested in me" when really it was them waiting for the other person to make the next move. That's my thoughts anyways.

[IlyaTheImpaler]

Reminds me of my friend, he'd highlight everything in the notes...

I think it's true in the sense that if you have to do all the work he's probably not interested.

If I pursue a girl I expect her to meet me halfway, I'm not gonna do all the work. I'd do the same if she makes the first move, and I only pursue after receiving positive signals lol

[Jemini_Crocket]

Fair enough.

[IlyaTheImpaler]

so how goes your pursuit?

[Jemini_Crocket]

I'm not really pursuing anyone atm (except crushing on my courier), I just saw this on the internet and was curious what other people think xD

[IlyaTheImpaler]

😂😂😂tf crushing on the delivery boy?

[IlyaTheImpaler]

😂😂😂 sounds like porn

[Jemini_Crocket]

Ohmygod no 😂 My friends said exactly the same. xD I gotta keep ordering random stuff to see him 😂

[IlyaTheImpaler]

What did you order? just ask him out, that'd save you a lot of money 😂

[Jemini_Crocket]

New jeans the last time. I can't do that. 😅 He's out of my league lol

[IlyaTheImpaler]

how's that possible lol

[Jemini_Crocket]

Unfortunately, it is xD I'm too awkward anyway lol

[IlyaTheImpaler]

just open the door in your sexy nightdress he will get the hint

[Jemini_Crocket]

There's always that one problem. What if he doesn't like me, visually XD

[jaidee]

Basically this text tells you to keep sitting on your hands. The effects will include:
-pushing ever more of the hurt from being rejected on guys
-making guys resent you and treat you less well because of the accumulation of hurt they get which you're not taking your share of.
-increase the gap between successful guys (extroverts, players) and unsuccessful guys (introverts, shy guys).
-make women more "used" (pumped and dumped) since they'll tend to go even more with players who will only shag them.

[JBarbs]

If i was interested in someone but they clearly expected me to do all the work, i would take that as a sign that they aren't interested in me. I dont play games so if they are interested in me they should show me through their actions. Relationships are a two way street

[Zilkk]

If We've been talking for awhile I'll try to make the first move, I took 2 years of psychology in college before i stopped going 😅 so I learned a lot about how to read if a girl is into me or not for me to make the first move

[Jemini_Crocket]

Did those two years helped in any way? xD

[Zilkk]

Haha I'd like to think so 😅 it was honestly the most interesting class I ever took

[Jemini_Crocket]

At least something :D

[ThatPersonOverThere]

Dude, respectfully... screw that. You're just wasting time doing that. If you're interested, ask her out. Of she's not interested, she'll say no.

Some women are absolutely retarded when it comes to showing interest. Here is a conversation I once had with a co-worker:
Her: Dude she's totally into you, how are you not seeing all these signals?
Me: WTF? What signals?
Her: Didn't you notice how she had one eyebrow slightly raised?

Yeah, holy shit. Don't drive yourself crazy trying to figure women out. Just ask if you're interested. It pays to be bold.

[Zilkk]

Haha hell yeah

[Zilkk]

Most of the girls I've dated I met at bars so there's that 😅

[Welshman2]

Utter nonsense. I won't chase anyone - never have, never will. If I am interested in a woman then I will tell her and if she us interested in me I expect her to let me know.

I don't play games and piss about nor should any man or woman be expected to.

[i_love_stars]

That, sir, is exactly what I wish to say..

[MarketData]

At least you will tell her. That's way more than some guys will ever do.

[Oasha]

I never pursue anyone and I know that I'll probably never be with a girl that think it's always the man's job to do the first step. I don't expect a girl to do all the work either, but if we can't meet each other halfway then it's probably not meant to happen in my opinion.

[Jemini_Crocket]

I don't think that this statement means that the girl would do nothing. It rather means that if he isn't eager to make plans with the girl, he's not interested. But of course, there are two in the relationship. They both gotta work on it.

[PillowThief]

To be honest, it's a bit of a lazy sentiment. Starting a relationship is a two-way street. I'd say that the people implying that it's a reduction of quality of man in any way for allowing or waiting for a woman to initiate, have their head firmly encased in their arseholes, but then that would insinuate these people have brains.

[i_love_stars]

"Men are born to pursue women"... Really? That's like the worst thing I've ever read.. Imagine something like "Women are born to woo men".. wouldn't that be offensive to women?(Feminists will be all over the person who said that)..

[Jemini_Crocket]

Well, technically I believe it's partly true. It's like "women are meant to be with men and vice versa" but there are exceptions like gays, lesbians etc. But that's my opinion and I don't hate LBQT. Everyone is different but some things are just true.

[i_love_stars]

Women are meant to be with men.. OK.. agreed. But that does nothing to justify the statement that men should pursue women. It's supposed to be mutual.. Only in the medieval ages, men did all the work of wooing and courting..

[Jemini_Crocket]

Yeah, that's true. I just think (from my experiences) that it should be the guy who makes the first step unless he's really shy because when I have made the first move, I had to continue doing the rest too. It happened to me few times and even in friendship with guys. Maybe I'm just unlucky who knows.

[i_love_stars]

Don't think that I'm rude when I ask this., I'm asking out of curiosity... but why do you or everyone in general prioritize a relationship.. Is it really necessary for people to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend?

[Jemini_Crocket]

No, not really. It depends on the person but most people I know, and especially people here where I live, are already in relationships and your families tend to except that you will have someone for yourself too. The pressure can be quite annoying.
But I wouldn't mind having someone either way. I'd rather be single than with someone I don't give a damn about or vice versa though.

[i_love_stars]

I'm sorry. That really seems to be quite a tight situation..🙁🙁

[Ariel1990]

truth.. real me always chase women they reallt like...

[Landshrk0068]

Yes, it's true for the most part. But sometimes, guys don't notice a girl, and she'll have to do something to get noticed, and then let nature take over.

[your_ego]

I can't read, but if it's in a book, it's probably right.

[bklynbadboy1]

Yeah take it from me that statement is absolutely true! Men are Hunters we love to pursue that's what we do it's hardwired into our DNA so yeah I agree with that statement

[Kiels01]

The younger generations have a lot more "girly men" I feel their DNA maybe different.

[bklynbadboy1]

Yeah but you have to understand that a lot of the situations that the younger generation go through as far as dating they create for themselves. Most times y'all know a guy is not good for y'all yet you still date him. sometimes you have to not follow Trends and do what you feel is best for you you know what you like you know what you want just simply don't settle don't date a guy because he's close to what you want or you're lonely get the guy you want and sometimes it's better to data older guy especially when you're somebody like yourself who's very mature for her age I don't mean go crazy and date somebody like 20 years older than you but just a little bit older because girls mature faster than guys so even though right now your profile the same 18 or 19 years old you really have the mind of a 28 year old whereas if a guy is 18 and 19 year old most of the time he is the mind of a 15 year old you understand

[Kiels01]

Dude I'm a guy lol

[xctmnt]

This has little to do with whether the guy is into you or not. It's a mechanism for you as a woman to essentially weed out the guys who are too nervous/inexperienced/shy to go talk to you.

[You_Cant_See_Me]

This is a perfect example of how women beg and cry for equality, but only the convenient equality.

[Jemini_Crocket]

Not every woman is a crazy feminist who wants that kind of equality which can be found in the US or Sweden.

[You_Cant_See_Me]

I would sure hope not

[Mikey_Ramone]

Umm yes I think. I do pursue many girls around, but always failed. Haha oh lonesome me.

[Some_Goof]

Where are the feminist?

[Jemini_Crocket]

I don't know. I guess they forgot.

[VV3ZZY]

It makes some sense, but i have a book that says girls want to do the persuing. Like i should do the initial persuit and then let the girl chase me.

[MarketData]

Better get a new book fella.

[VV3ZZY]

Well i just know that most of the times when i liked a girl. She always ignored me and went after the guy who didn't really care.

[MarketData]

There might be other factors in play. Like his eyes are a particular colour or whatever. There are some things you can't change.

[CT_CD]

It's true. It should be the man who has to chase the woman like she's some celebrity

[elizabeta]

Bullshit
I was the one pursuing my man and he loves me really much