Do men feel love the same way women do?

[Anonymous]

For me as a girl, if I love you, I'll let you know, why and how and everything about it. Guys seems different they'll just say it and that's it. Do they really feel it the way we do or is it different?

[alby00darned]

Let me just start this answer out by saying that I teach women's study courses, so my opinions are influenced by a LOT of gender studies/theory. But, I really do believe that there are no innate differences between "men" and "women" in regards to how they feel or express emotions. If woman experiences something that we consider to be love, then I am completely sure that men feel the same way, and it probably does not take them any longer to get to that point than women.

What you might see, however, is an issue in regards to how "men" and "women" are supposed to feel and express something like love. If the guy you're seeing was raised in a way that makes him feel that it is somehow emasculating to admit/say that he loves someone, then that might influence how you would perceive how he feels about you (I hope that I'm not being too "out there" ... I've had some wine tonight lol). But if you're seeing a guy who is confident in himself and doesn't really care how the rest of the world sees him (and his masculinity), then I don't see how/why he should experience love (or admit to it) any differently than a woman.

Essentially, my point is that we are all people, we are all the same and we experience things (such as love) in the same way. And in regards to how they express their love or what they find about love that is important ... again, I really think that that is all socially constructed. So if you are seeing a guy and he only will tell you that he loves you and not why, then maybe you should ask him ... but yes, I think that all people, regardless of gender, experience love in the same manner.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Women and Men do love with the same amount of intensity. But both show it in very different ways. Women tend to be more impulsive and expressive, feeling the need to assure our partners how much we love them by telling them or being blunt with it. Men demonstrate their love more so than saying it. A guy's main concern is his girl's well-being, and he will do whatever it takes to ensure she's well taken care of. This is how men generally love. If you look at couples who have been together for years and ask the girl to talk about why she loves her guy so much, this is probably what she'll say: " He's caring, protective, and looks out for me." Men don't need to profess their love all the time, because they feel with all their doing to make sure your taken care of, should be enough to get the point across.

Now, some guys are more expressive/impulsive and may tell their partners they love them everyday. But will still be fixated on taking care of his significant other and showing his affection through actions. Everyone understands guys are very physical, so this activity is very natural for them. Other things like sex and buying gifts are more forms of expressing their love in a more demonstrative fashion, rather than telling.

Overall, guys most likely feel the same way we do when it comes to love, they just represent theirs differently.

[Anonymous]

Some people (men and women) may have personal walls, barriers in their own minds, usually springing from some psychological reasons, related to upbringing or past experiences, that prevent them from feeling or expressing their emotions fully. Some people are not entirely comfortable expressing emotion, or talking very openly about it.

It may also be that different people feel loved and express love differently. Some people like to show their love through physical touches, or kisses (or *ahem* other activities), others like to say "I love you", and still others like to show it with gestures, like gifts, or taking someone to a wonderful dinner. This is not to say that people don't like other ways of showing their love, just that we usually prefer one. And often the way we prefer to show our love is also the way we like to be loved.

And to answer your question; Yes, yes we can love, with the same depth, passion, and ferocity women can. Just some of us maybe aren't the greatest at showing it.

Just as a suggestion, perhaps ask a guy how HE would like to show he loves you. He may prefer another way,