Long Distance Relationship - Do I deserve better?

[EmSeattle]

Today my SO and I were talking on the phone and he brought up an issue that I can't seem to stop thinking about. We have just started our relationship, so of course everything is a little rocky, but he said that he didn't see us having a future together. Granted, he didn't say it so bluntly, but it is what he meant. He said that he felt pressure from me to be the perfect boyfriend and that he felt pressured into something more serious than what he wanted. I've always said that I wanted to get married young and start a family early, and he said that he didn't want to be the one to marry me. In a nutshell, he doesn't see a future with us together and he didn't want me to feel like I was wasting my time on relationship that wouldn't go anywhere. We would be long distance until we both finish school, and even after then, we'd get jobs in different places. How can we be together when our plans for the future are so different?

I like him so much, I can really see myself loving him. I thought that he felt the same way, but now it's obvious that I am more committed to the relationship than he is. My question is: Do I deserve someone better? Do I deserve someone that will give the future a chance, someone who wants to be that perfect boyfriend? I've been tackling this idea that maybe breaking up now will save me heartbreak later on in life. I just miss him so much and want to be with him so badly, but if I know he doesn't feel as strongly as I do, should I just move on?

[star709]

yes,to everything. I say find someone who has the same goals in life like you, to get married early and have kids..those are BIG make or break issues in a realitionship - it would be best to move on. you both are on different timelines

I don't think he is not committed to you, he is just scared he won't meet up to your requirements it seems. he was honest with you, that is all you should have asked and plus it is long distance

-maybe it is lust, your not in love with him. I think once you process all this information, you will be able to convience your self, "hey, I don't like him anymore"

i don't think there is a " there is no such thing as the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend" - no one is perfect. if you are searching that, you will not end up in a long term, scaring them away. that is a dream.

[star709]

I would change your title. seems your a bit selfish, with the title and information.

i know your not trying to be but , it makes it come off like that.

[Vasillilaw]

Yea. I definitely think that if you are already starting off with a rocky relationship it may not get much better. What's the point of wasting time and energy on this guy if it seems it's all going to be for nothing? I would break up with him right away, but it's always easier said than done! Hope this helps! (:

[Anonymous]

If you are talking about this stuff so early into a relationship you might be freaking him out or projecting to much pressure about something you have no way of knowing what will happen in the future. The start of a relationship is all about getting to know each other and discovering if you have a future together over time. He might be scared your expecting too much too soon.